The Presidential Candidate Theme Music Draft


One of the most important decisions any aspiring President can make is choosing the right theme music. And at a DNC meeting last week, the candidates did just that.

John Edwards will borrow John Mellencamp's Chevy jingle "This Is Our Country," which anyone without TiVo has heard roughly nine million times already. His second choice: "HeadOn! Apply Directly to the Forehead!"

Chris Dodd has cornered the Temptations market, snatching up both "Get Ready (Cause Here I Come)" and "Reach Out."

Hillary Clinton chose the reassuring "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Jones. Lest anyone think she's not in it to win it, the song's next line states, "There's no other place I want to be." Senator Clinton, perhaps anticipating a lackluster showing in Iowa and New Hampshire, also has dibs on "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive.

Dennis Kucinich chose "America the Beautiful." Don't get me wrong, I love the song. The Ray Charles version is guaranteed to produce chills. But this is sort of like choosing your teacher as your hero in an elementary school "Who is your hero?" discussion. Or maybe it's not like that at all, and I'm just upset nobody chose "Vote for Me" by Joe Walsh ("A vote for a vote for me!")

Barack Obama did not choose a song, positioning himself firmly as the anti-establishment candidate.

Al Gore has not yet declared his candidacy. He may regret this hesitancy once he learns Mellencamp's latest hit is off the board.

Wesley Clark, who ironically has not yet decided to run, chose the Johnny Cash song "I Won't Back Down." If he does back down, and Obama needs a tune, I assume this goes back into the pool for the next round of the draft.