Sticks and Stones May Break Bones...


The only time a nickname has ever offended me was in kindergarten, when my teacher started calling me Jason the Mason. See, Jason the Mason was a brick-working pig from a book we were reading. I didn't take kindly to being called a pig, so I broke down in tears. Now, with 15 more years of experience under my belt, I've learned that words really will never hurt me, so I was more excited than weepy when a friend turned me on to the drawbacks section of Babynamer is a site run by the Oxygen network ostensibly for new parents, but I found it plenty interesting. Even though it's got tons of information about every name, from origin to alternate spellings to namesakes, the highlight is the drawbacks, which lists the most creative ways to make fun of someone's name. These lists can prepare children for all kinds of bullies, be they oddly creative ("˜Caterer' for "˜Kaitlyn'), cruel (the Mitch page is obviously ruthless) or remarkably intelligent ("˜Anatomical John,' a reference to famed anatomist John Hilton).

Because I know all the bullies who read our site want more ammo, here are some drawbacks for Mental Floss writers, courtesy of babynamer.

David- Crazy Davey, Dave the Slave
Becky- Becky the Techie, Beckalini
Chris Higgins- Rye Crisp, Chris Piss
Will- Will the Pill, Iron Will
Jason- Space Case Jase, Jaywalk
InternJason- InternSpace Case Jase, InternJaywalk
Sandy- Sandy-tized for your Protection, Sandy Beach
Maggie- Mag-a-Rag, Maggie who Brings her Lunch in a Baggy

Mangesh, Ransom and Miss Cellania all escaped without any drawbacks, but feel free to suggest some in the comments.