%20%20--%3E%0A%3Csvg%20version%3D%221.1%22%20id%3D%22Layer_1%22%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20xmlns%3Axlink%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F1999%2Fxlink%22%20x%3D%220px%22%20y%3D%220px%22%0A%09%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20684.6%2068.1%22%20style%3D%22enable-background%3Anew%200%200%20684.6%2068.1%3B%22%20xml%3Aspace%3D%22preserve%22%3E%0A%3Cg%3E%0A%09%3Cpath%20d%3D%22M444.1%2C29.3h-17.4v14.5h17.4V29.3z%20M36.4%2C68.1l29.3-50.8V0H50.4L32.9%2C36.8L15.5%2C0H0v68.1h16.7V45.8l12.4%2C22.3H36.4z%0A%09%09%20M49.1%2C68.1h16.6V23.4L49.1%2C52.1V68.1z%20M76.6%2C68.1h45V53.8H93.3V41.6h21V27.1h-21V14.8h28.3V0.1h-45V68.1z%20M175.6%2C68.1h17.3v-68%0A%09%09h-16.5v40.3L150%2C0.1h-17.6v68h16.7V27.7L175.6%2C68.1z%20M235.8%2C14.8h15.4V0.1h-47.4v14.7H219v53.2h16.8V14.8z%20M290.3%2C45.9h-17.1%0A%09%09l7.5-15.6h2L290.3%2C45.9z%20M298.7%2C68.1h18l-32.2-68h-5.7l-32%2C68h18l3.3-7.1h27.1L298.7%2C68.1z%20M325.2%2C68.1h46.2V53.8h-29.6V0.1h-16.7%0A%09%09V68.1z%20M423.7%2C14.8h27.2V0.1H407v68h16.7V14.8z%20M462%2C68.1h46.2V53.8h-29.6V0.1H462V68.1z%20M564.8%2C34.1c0%2C10.7-7.2%2C19.2-18.5%2C19.2%0A%09%09c-11.4%2C0-18.5-8.5-18.5-19.2s7.1-19.2%2C18.5-19.2C557.6%2C14.9%2C564.8%2C23.4%2C564.8%2C34.1%20M580.6%2C34.1c0-19-14.2-34-34.3-34%0A%09%09c-20.2%2C0-34.3%2C15-34.3%2C34c0%2C19%2C14.1%2C34%2C34.3%2C34C566.4%2C68.1%2C580.6%2C53.1%2C580.6%2C34.1%20M604.8%2C20.5c0-4.1%2C3.3-6.2%2C6.7-6.2%0A%09%09c4.4%2C0%2C6.6%2C3%2C6.6%2C6.6h14.7C631.8%2C9.1%2C625.1%2C0.1%2C611%2C0.1c-12%2C0-21.7%2C9.3-21.7%2C20.6c0%2C10.9%2C5.9%2C15.9%2C16.7%2C19.8%0A%09%09c5.2%2C1.8%2C11.5%2C3.2%2C11.5%2C8c0%2C3.3-2.4%2C5.5-6.4%2C5.5c-3.6%2C0-6.6-3-6.6-6.7h-15.2c0%2C11.5%2C7.9%2C20.8%2C21.8%2C20.8c12%2C0%2C21.6-9.3%2C21.6-20.6%0A%09%09c0-10-5.3-16.4-16.7-19.8C610.6%2C26.1%2C604.8%2C25.3%2C604.8%2C20.5%20M670%2C20.9h14.7C683.8%2C9.1%2C677.1%2C0.1%2C663%2C0.1c-12%2C0-21.7%2C9.3-21.7%2C20.6%0A%09%09c0%2C10.9%2C5.9%2C15.9%2C16.7%2C19.8c5.2%2C1.8%2C11.5%2C3.2%2C11.5%2C8c0%2C3.3-2.4%2C5.5-6.4%2C5.5c-3.6%2C0-6.6-3-6.6-6.7h-15.2c0%2C11.5%2C7.9%2C20.8%2C21.8%2C20.8%0A%09%09c12%2C0%2C21.6-9.3%2C21.6-20.6c0-10-5.3-16.4-16.7-19.8c-5.4-1.6-11.3-2.4-11.3-7.2c0-4.1%2C3.3-6.2%2C6.7-6.2C667.7%2C14.4%2C670%2C17.3%2C670%2C20.9%0A%09%09%22%2F%3E%0A%3C%2Fg%3E%0A%3C%2Fsvg%3E%0A)
I stole this short trip down magazine lane from Volume 3, Issue 4's Scatterbrained section on Bullies. Thought you guys might enjoy.
OUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL BULLIES
Name: Nelson Muntz (from "The Simpsons")
Sightings: Often seen pointing and laughing at things wherever there are things to be pointed and laughed at. Also, a strong presence on the playground.
Motto: "Ha-ha!"
Greatest Hits: Conscientious about the big picture. "We've been doing a lot of upper body work on Bart. Today let's pound his kidneys."
"Persuasiveness": While Nelson does great solo work, he also manages an effective team of delinquents. Definitely, one of the better bullies on the block.
Insight:
Lisa : "Nuke the whales?" You don't really believe that, do you?
Nelson: I dunno. Gotta nuke something.
Name: Sensei John Kreese (of "Karate Kid" fame)
Can always be spotted bossing around kids at the Cobra Kai Dojo.
Motto:
"Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy."
Greatest Hits:
Generally reserved for beating up his own students.
"Persuasiveness":
Sure, he's intimidating with all that "no mercy" talk. And he can coerce little Johnny into sweeping legs. But he's hardly a menace if you've got Mr. Miyagi on your side. Just stay out of his Dojo.
Insight:
Chuck Norris turned down the role of the Sensei because he didn't want karate instructors to be shown in an unsympathetic light.
Name: Moe (from "Calvin and Hobbes")
More bullies after the jump...
Often caught lurking in the hallway. Perfect gym and recess attendance.
Motto:
"Give before it hurts."
Greatest Hits:
Usually to the abdomen.
"Persuasiveness":
Although his train of thought is generally stuck in the boarding station, Moe makes some fairly eloquent arguments with his fists. The fact that he's a 6 year old who shaves doesn't hurt.
Insight:
Bill Watterson, Calvin's creator, claims, "I remember school being full of idiots like Moe. I think they spawn on damp locker room floors."
Name: Tommy "Butch" Bond ("The Little Rascals")
Slinking around anywhere the kids are trying to put on a show, with his sidekick "Woim" tagging along.
Motto:
"I usually prove it by lickin' everybody "¦ but to save time, I'm just gonna lick the toughest one of ya."
Greatest Hits:
Rarely has to resort to fisticuffs. His mean looks say it all.
"Persuasiveness":
For four years, he kept the gang in check, usually picking on Alfalfa. Butch took on the hair-challenged singer in both the boxing ring and in the wrestling ring, and caused many a black eye in the Rascals' neighborhood.
Insight:
Bond went on to play a good guy as Jimmy Olsen in scores of episodes of the "Superman" film serial beginning in 1948, but turned down the role on the TV version with George Reeves.
Got a favorite Fictional Bully that we missed? Write it in the comments below. And be sure to check out this and other back issues, available at the mental_floss store.