The Analogist Is In

The Analogist is a semi-regular feature in the spirit of traditional advice columns. But instead of dispensing advice, we tell you what your situation is like. Make sense? Let's get right to it.

Dear Analogist: I've been temping with an insurance company, splitting time between communications and HR. The HR folks just offered me a full-time position. A job's a job and I'm grateful and happy. But when I asked my boss in communications why they didn't want me, he told me that they did. However, last week, both groups had booked our main conference room for different important simultaneous meetings. HR agreed to find another meeting space if communications agreed to give me up. I've been traded for a two-hour stint in a conference room! Has anything like this ever happened before?

=====>This isn't as bad as it sounds. And I don't mean that in a "be happy you're employed" way. This reminds me of a story about Dave Winfield, who had an illustrious Hall of Fame career, compiling over 3,000 hits in 22 seasons. Two weeks before the 1994 baseball strike, Winfield was traded from the Minnesota Twins to the Cleveland Indians for the proverbial "player to be named later." Winfield hadn't played in a game for Cleveland when the strike forced the cancellation of the season. In all the turmoil and labor strife, no player was ever named to complete the transaction.

To settle the trade, executives from Cleveland and Minnesota went to dinner, and the Indians picked up the check. So Dave Winfield "“ according to The Sporting News, the 94th greatest player of all-time "“ was traded for a dinner. You're in good company. Congrats on the new job.

Dear Analogist: Since being named Best Man in my buddy's wedding, I've taken a new job in Dallas (commuting back to Phoenix on weekends), broken my collarbone in a freak street hockey accident, and found out I'm being audited. The point? No time to plan a bachelor party. One of our high school friends -- a guy not even in the wedding party -- really picked up the slack. He's been incredible with this thing, and we've got a kick ass weekend in Mexico ahead of us. My question -- how do I get this point across to the groom? I'm worried I'll get credit I don't deserve. Who else in history has taken on so much responsibility? (And don't say LeBron James against the Pistons in last year's playoffs. That one I could come up with on my own.)

GTP
Phoenix, AZ

=====>How about LeBron James against the Pistons in last year's playoffs? Oh, right.

While I'm not sure just how impressive your friend's actions really were, a great analogy for one person carrying a group is the 1884 season of Providence Grays pitcher Charles "Old Hoss" Radbourn.

I will let the fine folks from Baseball-Fever.com explain:

On July 23, 1884, Providence Grays pitcher Radbourn begins what may be the most remarkable feat in baseball history. 'Old Hoss' pledges to pitch every game for the rest of the season if the Grays would agree not to reserve him for the following year. He pitches in nine straight games, winning seven, losing one and tying one. He takes a 'day off' and plays right field before returning to pitch six more consecutive games. He plays shortstop for a single game and then pitches in 20 more consecutive games, winning 10 before having his 20-game win streak stopped. He would lead the NL in wins with 60, an ERA of 1.38, innings pitched with 678.2, strikeouts with 441, complete games with 73 and winning percentage with a .833 mark. The Grays would win the pennant by 10½ games over the Boston Beaneaters.

If the groom's not a baseball fan and thus can't appreciate this incredible feat, another comparison is Sean Connery's character in The Rock. I haven't seen that movie in about five years, but I think I remember him really going above and beyond for Nic Cage in the end. Have fun in Mexico. Good luck with the audit.

'The Analogist' is our least frequent running feature. See sessions one, two and three. If you've got a situation you need Analogized, just send us an email.