John Moe's Pop-Song Correspondences

We've got McSweeney's in our "Sites We Like" sidebar (look to the right...), and it's full of buried gems. Today, let me urge you to read John Moe's Pop-Song Correspondences, a series of humorous pieces inspired by popular music. I have selected some samples for your enjoyment.

From Regarding Pete Seeger's Requests for a Hammer and His Descriptions of What He Would Do If He Had One:

Dear Mr. Seeger, We regret to inform you that we have declined your application for $25 to be used in the purchase of a hammer. We approve loans that make good sense for all parties involved, loans that are investments in the potential profitability of the recipient's enterprise. This, in turn, ensures repayment of the initial capital. While $25 might seem an insignificant sum to a bank of our size, we could not approve it, largely because we frankly just didn't understand the request. Seriously, long after we dismissed the application, we were still trying to figure out what you were talking about. It haunts us, to be honest.

From Notes on "Sweet Child O' Mine," as Delivered to Axl Rose by His Editor:

She's got a smile that, it seems to me—Why equivocate? You weaken your point by framing this as a mere personal observation instead of a fact. Reminds me of childhood memories—Redundant. You either have a memory or you're reminded of something. You're not reminded of a memory. Heavy-metal fans won't stand for such writing, my friend.

Read more at McSweeney's. Some more best bets:

• A Letter to Elton John From the Office of the NASA Administrator
• Marvin Gaye Explains What He Heard Through the Grapevine
• A Letter to Elvis Presley From His Hound Dog