Faux Quote Finalists


We had more than 100 stupendous faux-quote submissions, so it took a little time to winnow it down. But we did! And we're back with your finalists. As always, please only vote once in the comments. If you try to sneak in a second vote under a different e-mail addy, will be forced to circulate nefarious thoughts in staff CCs behind your back.

Remember: the winner gets a free copy of David Pratt's new book, The Impossible Takes Longer: The 1,000 Wisest Things Ever Said by Nobel Prize Laureates.

And the finalists are"¦

a)    "If we we didn't have family, we wouldn't need friends" - Oscar Wilde b)    "Although I am not fond of bearing the name "˜Herman', I am nevertheless relieved that my parents decided against their original inclination to call me Ishmael." - Herman Melville c)    "Mission Accomplished." -Gen. Robert E. Lee, Bull Run, July 1861 d)    "Madam, I'm atom." - Democritus at an ancient Greek singles bar e)    "My Bad." -LeRoy Brown f)    "I'm sure I'lll ketchup in the polls soon. I'm not really that far be Heinz." - John Kerry g)    "I have come to carry Caesar, not to raise him" - Julius Caesar's nanny in the much-anticipated prequel to the Shakespeare classic, from the deleted contract negotiation scene h)    "Today is like a kind of chilly May or June-ish day that, you know, could be warmer but isn't like freakin' awful, made, you know, like one of those really great, like, Indian summer days in like October"¦ or some junk, by this York guy" "“ from the first draft of Richard III - William Shakespeare i)    "I don't DO windows." - Steve Jobs (justifying a need for a housecleaner) j)    "Most needs are just wants." - Ghandi