As you may or may not know, our own Jason English is due to become a first-time dad pretty much any minute now, so we thought we'd honor him with the Quick 10 today. We consulted our mental_floss staffers to see why they thought JE would make a good dad "“ here are the results.
10 Reasons Jason English Will Make a Great Dad
1. Will read Baby English the current values of his baseball cards instead of bedtime stories.
2. Instead of repeatedly watching the Wiggles and the Doodlebops, Jason will make his kid watch Sports Night DVDs over and over.
3. Will be a great SAT prep source due to his unique ability to explain everything in analogies. Unfortunately, his kid will have to travel back in time to 1997 to find that section on an SAT exam.
4. Has a killer Big Bird costume to hand down to his first-born. (For other embarrassing childhood photos of _floss readers and staffers, check out this post from Ransom)
5. Will be ready for child #2 after honing mediating skills on the baby and Bailey.
6. When being the boss doesn't work for him, he can always turn to The Boss instead (Jason was quite excited about this article)
7. Already has extensive scouting experience to pass on to English Jr.
8. Will turn kid into a champion debater by exposing him or her to the McLaughlin Group at an early age. (Mangesh says Jason has a "bizarre fascination" with the show)
9. Can keep the baby entertained with his first-hand account of Noah's Ark.
10. Is excited to have the baby despite lack of incentives.
And, as a side note, we fully expect the baby to be dressed exclusively in mental_floss onesies.