The Quick 10: 10 Cereals That Will Give You a Toothache Just By Reading About Them


I could probably eat cereal for every meal. I love Franken-Berry, but I only allow myself to have it once a year (at Halloween, of course). Otherwise I would probably go through the whole box in a day, because I'd eat it for every meal and snack on it dry. Despite my love of cereal, I find these 10 kind of questionable. And if you remember one from your childhood that definitely wouldn't make it to the shelves these days, tell us what it was in the comments.

1. Sir Grapefellow was "grape-flavored oat cereal with sweet grape starbits." I don't want me oats to taste like grapes. Sir Grapefellow himself was a British Flying Ace, circa WWI.

2. Kombos. "Orange-flavored flakes of corn." I don't think corn flakes should taste like fruit, either.

3. Baron von Redberry was Grapefellow's arch nemesis! As his German counterpart, Redberry's cereal was berry-flavored oat flakes with sweet berry marshmallows. Word is, it tasted a lot like fruit punch.
4. Quisp and Quake. Quisp is still sold in my local grocery store. It's "vitamin-powered sugar cereal!" Quisp supposedly tastes like Cap'n Crunch but with a texture that won't cut your gums when you bite into it (can any _flossers verify this?) and Quake was similar, but shaped like gears instead of saucers.


6. Sprinkle Spangles. The cereal was star shaped, and each piece was supposed to be covered in sprinkles. Dom DeLuise was the voice of the Sprinkle Spangles genie, who liked to claim, "You wish it, I dish it!" Photo from X-Entertainment

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8. KABOOM seems to be similar to other fruit-flavored cereals, except for the terrifying circus theme. That's probably just me, though. It's particularly notable because it was the box of cereal used in the Kill Bill scene where Vernita Green unexpectedly pulls a gun from the box, shoots through it and sends cereal flying all over the kitchen. Get it, "KABOOM!" Oh, that Quentin Tarantino.