Dietribes: Doughnut Stop Believing


"¢ Though the origins of the doughnut are lost in history, the making of the modern doughnut can be traced back to World War I and the Salvation Army. With troops weary and hungry after 36 consecutive days of rain in France, the Salvation Army gals mixed scrap ingredients and fried them in helmets. Sanitary? Maybe not, but a success? Most definitely.

"¢ Before you ask, according to Bartleby, both doughnut and donut are indeed acceptable spellings.

"¢ If you bake them, they will come: one study shows our brains are trained to "light up" at the sight of doughnuts. (Of course the choice was between a doughnut and a screwdriver - the tool, er, not the drink - so the jury is still out on that one).

"¢ Still, it seems that primitive creatures (from Homer Simpson on up) do have a particular predilection for the sugary sweet - Florida officials once attempted to lure a mystery animal (either "Big Foot" or a "big orange ball of fur") by offering doughnuts.

"¢ After all, the doughnut (at least, the powdered variety) is a natural phenomenon.

"¢ No time for breakfast on your transit? Then try this trans-fat laded treat (if your heart dares): Caffeinated doughnuts. Speaking of heart-attacks, how about a wedding cake made of doughnuts?

"¢ If you have too much time on your transit, consider becoming a patron at a Topless doughnut restaurant.

"¢ One of the most famous doughnut snafus was JFK's declaration "I am a jelly doughnut!" when he bungled a speech in Germany (which wasn't really his fault) - the full funny story can be found here.

"¢ In an oddly Hansel and Gretel twist, crack smokers stole a delivery truck ... but were caught because they left a 15 mile trail of doughnuts. "I don't know if it was a need for transportation or if they just had the munchies," police spokesman Rob Callahan said of a motive.

What are your favorite decadent doughnuts, Flossers? Excessive doughnut puns welcomed.

Hungry for more? Venture into the Dietribes archive.

"˜Dietribes' appears every other Wednesday. Food photos taken by Johanna Beyenbach. You might remember that name from our post about her colorful diet.