I know lots of people think they’re chalky and taste like nothing, but I adore Conversation Hearts. Love them or loathe them, you’re no doubt familiar with the usual syrupy sayings like “Kiss Me” and “U R Sweet,” but there have been some decidedly more interesting imprints on those hearts over the years. Here are a few of them.
Before you start wondering why Necco has decided to pay tribute to utensils, you should know that this one is from the
-themed Conversation Hearts that hit stores in 2009. In case you’re not a Twi-hard, Forks is the name of the town where most of the action takes place.
2. “Mommy Issues.” This one comes to you from BitterSweets, a line of candy that includes themes such as Dumped, Dejected, Dysfunctional. Other awesome sayings include “U left seat up,” “Aging Poorly,” and “Pwned! Meh.”
3. “Nice t***.” Whoops. What was probably a joke by a bored Brach’s assembly line employee ended up being not so funny when a 12-year-old California girl found it in her bag of candy a few days ago. Check out a picture of the offending confection at Geekologie.
4. “Please send a lock of your hair by return mail.” Back in the early days of what were then called “Motto Hearts,” the concept was a bit different - instead of being printed right on the candy, candy makers did it up fortune-cookie style by putting slips of paper inside of little crispy candies. And the shapes weren’t just restricted to hearts - others included watches, baseballs and envelopes.
5. “Married in Pink, He will take to drink." Although Necco started using vegetable coloring and a stamp to print sayings directly on the candy in the 1860s, they didn’t stop with the ridiculously long sayings. They were popular at weddings, hence the charming saying here. others included the rhyme stretch "Married in satin, Love will not be lasting" and "Married in white, You have chosen right."
6. “Stud Muffin.” Perhaps a bit risque for the children’s candy here in the U.S., “Stud muffin” is on the U.K. equivalent of Conversation Hearts, cleverly called Love Hearts.
7. “Let’s Read.”
Nice, and to that I say, “Yes, please.” But is that really Valentine’s Day material? Is it a euphemism? Is that what the kids are saying these days?
The pic comes from
, which did a very funny analysis of a bag of Conversation Hearts.
8. “Get My Drift.” Necco went with a weather theme in 2008 called “Love’s in the Forecast,” the pickup line your local weatherman when he goes out for drinks.
9. “You are gay.” It didn’t mean the same thing back when it was originally printed, which is why Necco pulled it from the ranks for being "outdated," along with "Dig it."
10. “Odyssey.” A bit cryptic for a piece of candy, perhaps, but it was part of the 2001 theme “Limitless love.” 2001... odyssey... get it?