You don't need us to remind you about the major December holidays. But you do need us to tell you that it's Monkey Day.
© ARNE DEDERT/epa/Corbis
1. December 14th: Monkey Day
According to the official Monkey Day website, Monkey Day is an “annual celebration of all things simian, a festival of primates, a chance to scream like a monkey and throw feces at whomever you choose.” The origins of the holiday are unknown, though it has been observed since at least 2003.
2. December 15th: National Cat Herder’s Day
Cat herding is as difficult as it sounds. Founded by a California couple, National Cat Herder’s Day isn’t just for people who actually wrangle felines, but also those whose lives or jobs feel as if they are constantly herding around cats. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, perhaps it will help to add the celebration of this obscure holiday to your Thursday schedule.
3. December 15th: Bill of Rights Day
On December 15th, 1791, the Bill of Rights was ratified by three-quarters of the States, giving us the first 10 amendments of the U.S. Constitution. This is a day to honor those certain inalienable rights like freedom of press and a speedy trial by jury. The Bill of Rights Day site has suggestions on how to celebrate, such as ranking your rights, BOR print-outs for your coworkers, and trivia!
4. December 16th: National Cover Anything With Chocolate Day
Not to be confused with National Chocolate Day on October 28th, this holiday is your free pass to dip anything in chocolate you otherwise wouldn’t the other 364 days of the year.
5. December 17th: Underdog Day
Today is the day to honor the unsung heroes, the folks in second place and the men/women behind the men/women. This holiday was reportedly created in 1976 and inspired by Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes’ faithful sidekick. Some reports claim the holiday is on 19th or the 21st. Maybe you just make next week Underdog Week.
6. December 18th: National Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day
Allegedly there once was a Hallmark card for National Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day, therefore it must be a real holiday. If you choose to celebrate, let's everyone agree to use new plungers.
7. December 20th: Louisiana Purchase Day
On this day in 1803, France officially relinquished its control of New Orleans to the United States, thus giving America over 800,000 square miles of new territory. The Louisiana Purchase did not actually include what we know today as the entire state of Louisiana; only the territory west of the Mississippi, as Spain still had ownership of the rest of it.
8. December 22nd: The Shortest Day of the Year
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, December 22nd is the shortest day of the year — the day when the Earth’s axial tilt is farthest away from the sun. While there’s no official ceremonial observance, it is believed that mystical structures such as Stonehenge and Newgrange were built with the sunrise and set of winter solstice in mind. And for all the Jim Henson fans out there, you can awaken the Great Bell at the center of Fraggle Rock by giving gifts and ringing tiny bells.
9. December 22nd: Head to Plymouth for Forefathers' Day
Observed primarily in Plymouth, Massachusetts, since the late 1700s, Forefathers' Day commemorates the Pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock in 1620. The traditional celebratory dish served for Forefathers' Day is Plymouth Succotash, with corned beef, fowl, salt pork, beans, potatoes and green-top turnips.
10. December 23rd: A Day to Air All Grievances
Then of course, there’s always Festivus for the rest of us. Invented by fictional Seinfeld character Frank Costanza, this secular holiday that involves gathering around an aluminum pole and airing out your grievances has continued to gain a following since its introduction in 1997. If you haven’t seen the episode, there’s an entire website that spells out how to celebrate Festivus from start to finish. (Note: It wasn't technically invented by Frank Costanza. As reader Mike points out, it was the creation of Seinfeld writer Dan O'Keefe's father. Test your Festivus knowledge with this quiz.)
11. December 26th: Alms for the Poor and Goals for the Soccer Players
Boxing Day may have been inspired by King Wenceslas, who one December 26th decided to gather up all of his leftover food, wine and gifts and bequeath them to a peasant. While he inspired the holiday, it is believed the Church of England technically founded it. There’s also speculation that it happened to be the day aristocrats give presents to their servants, and Boxing Day evolved from there. Today, Boxing Day has no real religious connotation and is more of an extra day off to drink and watch sports. Nonetheless it is still a national holiday in the UK and many countries once part of the British Empire.
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Does reading this list make you think just about anyone can start his or her own offbeat holiday? You're probably right. Feel free to lobby for your own new day of celebration in the comments.