If pancake syrup, batteries and crescent rolls can have corporate mascots, why shouldn’t urinalysis and Manograms? That’s what these 11 health-related causes figured when they created their very specific spokesthings.
1. Petey P. Cup
We’ve mentioned Petey P. Cup before, but his particular brand of awesome is worth another visit. Petey is a larger-than-life specimen jar containing a particularly yellow specimen that makes me wonder about Petey’s hydration levels. He’s the official spokescup of HealthPartners.com, a Minnesota nonprofit.
2. Pokey the Syringe
Like Gumby, Petey P. Cup has a buddy named Pokey. Unlike Gumby’s pal, though, this Pokey is a syringe big enough to inoculate Paul Bunyan. Pokey’s mission is to spread the word about immunizations and hypodermic history.
3. Captain Cutaneum
A child without sunscreen? This looks like a job for...Captain Cutaneum!! The good captain was created by an Arizona dermatologist who wanted to teach kids about sun safety before they decide that being tan is attractive. As is befitting for a sun safety spokesman, Captain Cutaneum is covered from head to toe and wears a giant blue hat, even when he’s fighting off evil villains like Lentigo and Melanoma.
4. Morgan D'Organ
Though he bears more than a passing resemblance to a wad of chewed gum, Morgan D’Organ is actually an ambiguous organ who reps for Donate Life Illinois. Morgan’s interests include pinkness, registration drives, hugs, and “turning looks of confusion into smiles.”
5. Dottie Donor Dot
Organ donation is a tough cause to mascot since there’s not one specific, tangible thing to use as a character. That’s why organ donation organizations have had to get creative. Dottie Donor Dot may look like 7up’s Cool Spot from the 1980s, but she’s really a big, anthropomorphized version of the orange dot Wisconsinites receive on their driver’s licenses when they agree to be an organ donor.
6 & 7. Mr. Testicles and Near Naked Man
Male-specific cancer doesn’t get as much ink (or funding) as predominantly female illnesses such as breast cancer. The Male Cancer Awareness Campaign is working to change that with their Mr. Testicles character. Not only does he exist, he’s a distance runner - Mr. Testicles completed the London Marathon last year. The website is equally hairy, just in case you’re curious.
Creating irreverent characters to address very serious subjects is something of a specialty for the MCAC, because they’re also the organization behind Near Naked Man, a masked man in a flesh-colored suit complete with a massive carpet of chest hair and a privacy fig leaf. NNM’s objective? To make men realize that talking to a doctor about bodily functions isn’t embarrassing - it’s potentially life saving. Those are a couple of Near Naked Men above with Mr. Testicles representing MCAC at the Houses of Parliament in 2010.
8. Billy the Kidney
I have to wonder how Billy the Kid would feel about his organ counterpart, Billy the Kidney. The Indiana branch of the National Kidney Foundation created this clever character for use at health fairs, walks, and even birthday parties. People interested in promoting the kidney cause can rent out the costume as long as they’re at least 13 years old and promise not to talk or run while wearing the costume.
9. Prosty the Spokesgland
All together now: Prosty the Spokesgland is a prostate gland, we’re told. Buried deep inside largely out of sight, he’s ignored by young and old. C’mon, if you know the lyrics, sing along! Prosty is a gland with anger management issues due to the fact that no one pays any attention to him. Created by the AdMeTech Foundation, Prosty is an advocate for the development of the “Manogram” - imaging technology that can help detect prostate cancer early.
10. Captain Glucose
In case you were wondering, yes — Captain Glucose is played by Bill Kirchenbauer, the dad from Just the Ten of Us.
It's hard to make it seem like stabbing yourself in the finger several times a day is fun, but Captain Glucose and Meter Boy are doing their best. Captain Glucose has Type 2 diabetes while Meter Boy suffers from Type 1. With a little assistance from D-Girl, they battle a Batman-esque bad guy named the Blood Sugar Maniac - when they’re not honing their stand-up routines, that is:
11. Mr. Hankey (?)
If one rectal cancer victim has her way, South Park’s own Mr. Hankey will soon be the proud mascot of the disease. Michelle Dobrawsky was diagnosed with rectal cancer last year and quickly realized that no one was wearing perky pink ribbons for her cause. Dobrawsky decided that Mr. Hankey, South Park’s famous talking Christmas turd, would be the perfect spokespoo for the cause. Her hilarious open letter to the series creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker appears to have gone unanswered for now.