Every Product Billy Mays Ever Pitched
Billy Mays, America's favorite infomercial star, died three years ago today. He began his career selling the WashMatik, a car-washing brush that siphoned water through the bristles without electricity. He moved from that to the Ultimate Chopper, and some of his other products not featured here include The Ding King (dent and ding repair kit), Turbo Tiger (a hand-held minivac), Grip Wrench (an adjustable strap wrench), Green Now (fertilizer), and something called the EZ Crunch Bowl, which promised to be "A new way to eat breakfast cereal." Here are the rest of the products he pitched over the next 12 years, in no particular order:
This was Billy's break-out pitch. He sold 6,000 units in 11 minutes (at $18 each) on the Home Shopping Network. He became HSN's go-to sales guy immediately afterward.
Big City Slider Station
The best line of his entire canon, surely: "No more squishin' and squashin', flippin' and floppin'!"
"Big strong nothing," he says. Poor Matt.
For when you want to watch sports, "but can't find a TV." Even his family likes it, so I guess video streaming is pretty great.
Lotta rhyming-ay in this one-ay.
It reaches so you don't have to.
You can grate asiago in it, ok. It's no ordinary plate.
Now that's super-strong.
iCan Health Insurance
Not limited to household tools and gadgets, Mays took on the job of selling access to affordable health insurance for everyone.
Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer?!
It's the only necktie that features a concealed pocket.
The most convenient hands-free device for any cellphone, GUARANTEED.
Ring around the toilet? You need Kaboom!
Warning: The quality of this video will offend you. If you can find a better one, leave a link in the comments
Mighty Putty, Mighty Putty Steel, and Mighty Putty Wood
All three in one Suoer Pack, in case you need to fix that drawer pull, tow a boat and lift a school bus.
Powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water you and I drink. Classic.
Vince and his silly Slap Chop can't compete.
Tungsten carbide sharpening blades, people.
Repairs scratches, dings and knicks ON CONTACT. Apply, and let dry. That's it!
When two hands just aren't enough, reach for the Tool Band-It. A job that takes two, can now be done by one! THAT'S AMAZING.
Vidalia Slice Wizard
7 different kitchen tools right in one machine. Even the food-processor inept can operate it. Try doing all that with a knife!
What-Odor?® Odor Eliminator
Sour milk. Moldy, rotten cheese. Cat urine!
The most absorbent material he'd ever used. Over 27 times more absorbent than cotton! You can even use them to dry your dog, guys.
Mays' last commercial spot. By this time, he'd been selling everything from adjustable wrenches to deodorizer to... well, Mighty Tape.
What's your favorite Mays-approved product? I like Kaboom!, but I do remember that I broke my grandma's Gopher trying to lift a birdbath. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)