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Billy Mays, America's favorite infomercial star, died three years ago today. He began his career selling the WashMatik, a car-washing brush that siphoned water through the bristles without electricity. He moved from that to the Ultimate Chopper, and some of his other products not featured here include The Ding King (dent and ding repair kit), Turbo Tiger (a hand-held minivac), Grip Wrench (an adjustable strap wrench), Green Now (fertilizer), and something called the EZ Crunch Bowl, which promised to be "A new way to eat breakfast cereal." Here are the rest of the products he pitched over the next 12 years, in no particular order:
Orange Glo
http://youtu.be/A2HTgXjH3SA
This was Billy's break-out pitch. He sold 6,000 units in 11 minutes (at $18 each) on the Home Shopping Network. He became HSN's go-to sales guy immediately afterward.
Awesome Auger
http://youtu.be/bLDXfYDAziI
Big City Slider Station
http://youtu.be/9KBXcpJfmj4
The best line of his entire canon, surely: "No more squishin' and squashin', flippin' and floppin'!"
DualSaw
http://youtu.be/65uKsgGS44M
"Big strong nothing," he says. Poor Matt.
ESPN360
http://youtu.be/8vUxHZ5EoPg
For when you want to watch sports, "but can't find a TV." Even his family likes it, so I guess video streaming is pretty great.
Flies Away
http://youtu.be/ZGGE-FiLUNQ
Lotta rhyming-ay in this one-ay.
Gopher
http://youtu.be/Cx3ZpRL0x7g
It reaches so you don't have to.
Grater Plater
http://youtu.be/WAp92zukjd8
You can grate asiago in it, ok. It's no ordinary plate.
Handy Switch
http://youtu.be/OKt9JvYNBxg
Hercules Hook
http://youtu.be/oVBCXeekpbA
Now that's super-strong.
iCan Health Insurance
http://youtu.be/c7d85T4OfqA
Not limited to household tools and gadgets, Mays took on the job of selling access to affordable health insurance for everyone.
Impact Gel
http://youtu.be/YoV2Bp_c7aI
Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer?!
The iTie
http://youtu.be/nGcn3N7DCMs
It's the only necktie that features a concealed pocket.
Jupiter Jack
http://youtu.be/p7yuoXU_QJs
The most convenient hands-free device for any cellphone, GUARANTEED.
Kaboom!
http://youtu.be/2NHHhIv3G1k
Ring around the toilet? You need Kaboom!
Mighty Mendit
Warning: The quality of this video will offend you. If you can find a better one, leave a link in the comments
http://youtu.be/LyTEKhkB8OM
Mighty Putty, Mighty Putty Steel, and Mighty Putty Wood
http://youtu.be/kyA1Viugxjw
All three in one Suoer Pack, in case you need to fix that drawer pull, tow a boat and lift a school bus.
OxiClean
http://youtu.be/ZTpXh33Mbeg
Powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water you and I drink. Classic.
Quick Chop
http://youtu.be/JpqiyFPdHZ4
Vince and his silly Slap Chop can't compete.
Samurai Shark
http://youtu.be/xPh-qgW8L4w
Tungsten carbide sharpening blades, people.
Simoniz Fix-It
http://youtu.be/F5M4EKnrQHY
Repairs scratches, dings and knicks ON CONTACT. Apply, and let dry. That's it!
Tool Band-it
http://youtu.be/TyYTYqIB3-Q
When two hands just aren't enough, reach for the Tool Band-It. A job that takes two, can now be done by one! THAT'S AMAZING.
Vidalia Slice Wizard
http://youtu.be/SG39UAd95bQ
7 different kitchen tools right in one machine. Even the food-processor inept can operate it. Try doing all that with a knife!
What-Odor?® Odor Eliminator
http://youtu.be/m40Oa2VzIVs
Sour milk. Moldy, rotten cheese. Cat urine!
Zorbeez
http://youtu.be/l25oCWDHnQI
The most absorbent material he'd ever used. Over 27 times more absorbent than cotton! You can even use them to dry your dog, guys.
Mighty Tape
http://youtu.be/st0SUrAG-D4
Mays' last commercial spot. By this time, he'd been selling everything from adjustable wrenches to deodorizer to... well, Mighty Tape.
What's your favorite Mays-approved product? I like Kaboom!, but I do remember that I broke my grandma's Gopher trying to lift a birdbath. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)