Our bodies have a number of naturally-occurring orifices, the purposes of which you’ve probably already discovered on your own. But sometimes—through misadventure, poor judgment, or sheer happenstance—these cavities can provide entry for foreign objects, whether inanimate or other living beings. Their extraction can prompt embarrassment and possibly an entry in a medical journal, like the guy who thought he had lung cancer but discovered it was a just a toy traffic cone that had lodged in his lung after he aspirated it by accident 40 years previously.
Traffic Cone Guy is but one example. Check out other instances of people who have had to have some awkward conversations with emergency room physicians.
1. A LIVE EEL // RECTUM
In January 2004, the medical journal Surgery published the details of a very eventful day at Kwong Wah Hospital in Hong Kong. A 50-year-old man had been admitted for stomach pains, and an x-ray showed the outline of a 20-inch eel, which the man admitted he had inserted into his rectum to relieve his constipation. It’s unknown how he thought the eel would have resolved his issue, but it certainly complicated matters. The eel was alive and found biting into his splenic flexure when he was opened up for surgery. A perforation in one of the walls of his rectum necessitated a colostomy. Notably, this was not the only case of a man presenting with rectal eel issues. In 2012, New Zealand's Auckland City Hospital confirmed that a man had been admitted for the same problem.
2. 40 POCKET KNIVES // STOMACH
Pica is a term used to describe the need to eat the inedible: coins, metal parts, and other non-nutritious objects. Surgeons at Amritsar Corporate Hospital in India were able to experience this phenomenon first-hand in 2016, when a 42-year-old police officer was admitted for stomach pains. Gas? Taco Bell? Nothing so mundane. He had swallowed exactly 40 pocket knives, most seven inches in length. Some were folded shut, while others were open and causing internal bleeding. The man said he had swallowed them whole over the past two months. All were successfully removed from his stomach. He described his compulsion as an “impulse” but swore he would not repeat the practice.
3. A COCKROACH // EAR
Hendrik Helmer of Darwin, Australia—one of the few patients brave enough to attach his name to this kind of story—told ABC Radio Darwin in 2014 that he awoke in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in his ear. Suspecting an insect had crawled in and “hoping it wasn’t a poisonous spider,” Helmer tried vacuuming the pest out of his canal before going to Royal Darwin Hospital. As a doctor poured olive oil in his ear to try and drive the creature out, Helmer reported his pain intensifying. Finally, the doctor used forceps and retrieved a cockroach measuring nearly one inch in length. Aside from some lingering issues with balance and jaw pain, Helmer was fine. (The cockroach was not. It had expired.)
4. A NAIL // BRAIN
The fateful day began like any other for Chicago resident Dante Autullo, who was busy remodeling his residence before being sidelined by headaches and nausea. As it turns out, he had accidentally shot himself in the head with a nail gun the day prior and failed to notice it, believing the nail had just missed his head. The spiked projectile was lodged in his brain for 36 hours before being removed, apparently without any ill effect.
5. A LEGO TIRE // NOSE
Someday, we’ll marvel at how we allowed children free access to their nostrils without equipping them with some kind of fine mesh safety guard. Until then, we’ll continue to come across stories like that of 6-year-old Salt Lake City boy Isaak Lasson, who rammed a LEGO vehicle tire up his nose at the age of three and began having chronic sinus problems. Upon questioning, Lasson would only admit he had “put some spaghetti up there” at one time. A pediatrician uncovered the tire, which was covered in fungus, and removed it. The theory was that Lasson had managed to fold the tire so it fit in his nostril.
6. A PEA PLANT // LUNG
In 2010, a 75-year-old Cape Cod man named Ron Sveden was relieved to find out the chest discomfort he had been experiencing was not due to lung cancer as doctors suspected, but a pea plant attempting to grow in his lung. Sveden had apparently aspirated a pea seed, which began to spout. (It didn’t grow very much, as pea plants need sunlight.) After being treated, Sveden was served a meal in the hospital with a side of peas. "I laughed to myself and ate them," he told a Boston TV reporter.
7. A SODA BOTTLE // RECTUM
Every year, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issues a very serious and professional list of things that have been found stuck up patients’ butts and other orifices, from peanut butter jars to remote controls. In 2009, the Saudi Journal of Gastroenterology detailed one such case, this one of a man who visited a local hospital after failing to retrieve a soda bottle he had inserted into his rectum. Initial attempts to retrieve it were unsuccessful, as mucus made the surface too slippery to grasp. Instead, doctors lightly sedated the man and asked him to bear down as though he were having a bowel movement. Once the bottle was partially out, they were able to grab it with forceps. The paper went on to note that broomsticks and axe handles had previously been reported in the literature; the patient was advised to seek counseling for his “perversion disorder” to “prevent recurrences.”
8. A PLASTIC WENDY’S FORK // LUNG
Eating your food as though you were vying for sustenance in a pack of wolves can have consequences, but none more absurd than the North Carolina man who suffered from chronic coughing and fatigue for two years before doctors discovered he had a piece of a fast food fork stuck in his lung. John Manley, 50, sought medical attention in 2009 for the symptoms: a pulmonologist at Duke University who scoped Manley’s lung spotted a plastic part with the word “hamburgers” embossed on it, typical of Wendy's "old-fashioned hamburgers" slogan. The object was removed and Manley’s symptoms resolved.
If you have a Flexible Spending Account (FSA), chances are, time is running out for you to use that cash. Depending on your employer’s rules, if you don’t spend your FSA money by the end of the grace period, you potentially lose some of it. Lost cash is never a good thing.
For those unfamiliar, an FSA is an employer-sponsored spending account. You deposit pre-tax dollars into the account, and you can spend that money on a number of health care expenses. It’s kind of like a Health Savings Account (HSA), but with a few big differences—namely, your HSA funds roll over from year to year, so there’s no deadline to spend it all. With an FSA, though, most of your funds expire at the end of the year. Bummer.
The good news is: The law allows employers to roll $500 over into the new year and also offer a grace period of up to two and a half months to use that cash (March 15). Depending on your employer, you might not even have that long, though. The deadline is fast approaching for many account holders, so if you have to use your FSA money soon, here are a handful of creative ways to spend it.
1. Buy some new shades.
Head to the optometrist, get an eye prescription, then use your FSA funds to buy some new specs or shades. Contact lenses and solution are also covered.
You can also buy reading glasses with your FSA money, and you don’t even need a prescription.
2. Try acupuncture.
Scientists are divided on the efficacy of acupuncture, but some studies show it’s useful for treating chronic pain, arthritis, and even depression. If you’ve been curious about the treatment, now's a good time to try it: Your FSA money will cover acupuncture sessions in some cases. You can even buy an acupressure mat without a prescription.
If you’d rather go to a chiropractor, your FSA funds cover those visits, too.
3. Stock up on staples.
If you’re running low on standard over-the-counter meds, good news: Most of them are FSA-eligible. This includes headache medicine, pain relievers, antacids, heartburn meds, and anything else your heart (or other parts of your body) desires.
There’s one big caveat, though: Most of these require a prescription in order to be eligible, so you may have to make an appointment with your doctor first. The FSA store tells you which over-the-counter items require a prescription.
In some cases, foot massagers or circulators may be covered, too. For example, here’s one that’s available via the FSA store, no prescription necessary.
5. Get clear skin.
Yep—acne treatments, toner, and other skin care products are all eligible for FSA spending. Again, most of these require a prescription for reimbursement, but don’t let that deter you. Your doctor is familiar with the rules and you shouldn’t have trouble getting a prescription. And, as WageWorks points out, your prescription also lasts for a year. Check the rules of your FSA plan to see if you need a separate prescription for each item, or if you can include multiple products or drug categories on a single prescription.
While we’re on the topic of faces, lip balm is another great way to spend your FSA funds—and you don’t need a prescription for that. There’s also no prescription necessary for this vibrating face massager.
6. Fill your medicine cabinet.
If your medicine cabinet is getting bare, or you don’t have one to begin with, stock it with a handful of FSA-eligible items. Here are some items that don’t require a prescription:
Compression socks for long flights (just make sure they’re rated 30-40 mmHg or above)
9. Get a better night’s sleep.
If you have trouble sleeping, sleep aids are eligible, though you’ll need a prescription. If you want to try a sleep mask, many of them are eligible without a prescription. For example, there’s this relaxing sleep mask and this thermal eye mask.
For those nights you’re sleeping off a cold or flu, a vaporizer can make a big difference, and those are eligible, too (no prescription required). Bed warmers like this one are often covered, too.
Your FSA funds likely cover more than you realize, so if you have to use them up by the deadline, get creative. This list should help you get started, and many drugstores will tell you which items are FSA-eligible when you shop online.
10. Go to the dentist.
While basics like toothpaste and cosmetic procedures like whitening treatments aren’t FSA eligible, most of the expenses you incur at your dentist’s office are. That includes co-pays and deductibles as well as fees for cleanings, x-rays, fillings, and even the cost of braces. There are also some products you can buy over-the-counter without ever visiting the dentist. Some mouthguards that prevent you from grinding your teeth at night are eligible, as are cleaning solutions for retainers and dentures.
11. Try some new gadgets.
If you still have some extra cash to burn, it’s a great time to try some expensive high-tech devices that you’ve been curious about but might not otherwise want to splurge on. The list includes light therapy treatments for acne, vibrating nausea relief bands, electrical stimulation devices for chronic pain, cloud-connected stethoscopes, and smart thermometers.
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Keanu Reeves has been a Hollywood fixture since the mid-1980s, shifting from early dramatic turns in films like River’s Edge (1986) to action thrillers like Speed (1994), The Matrix (1999), and John Wick (2014) and an indelible performance as Theodore “Ted” Logan in the Bill & Ted franchise.
For more on the actor, including why he believed he was sent to “movie jail” for a decade, read on.
1. Despite—or perhaps because of—his multicultural background, Keanu Reeves has never become an American citizen.
Born in Beirut, Lebanon in 1964, Reeves moved to Sydney, Australia and then New York City and (eventually) Toronto, following his mother Patricia’s wedding to her second husband. Born of Chinese, English, Irish, Native Hawaiian, and Portuguese descent, Reeves maintained a connection to the Canadian city where he spent the most time as a child before obtaining a green card through his American stepfather. To this day, and despite his success in America, Reeves maintains his Canadian citizenship.
2. Hockey kept Keanu Reeves busy as a kid.
In Toronto, Reeves became swept up in the appeal of ice hockey. He played throughout school and even co-coached a hockey club. While there, Reeves had an opportunity to try out for the Windsor Spitfires, a hockey team in the Ontario Hockey League. Reeves turned it down, believing his future was in performing. Later, he would portray a hockey pro alongside Patrick Swayze and Rob Lowe in 1986’s Youngblood.
3. When Keanu Reeves was a kid, Alice Cooper used to hang out at his house.
Reeves’s mother was a costume designer, which likely contributed to his interest in the performing arts. He toldUs magazine in 1995 that she made him some elaborate Halloween costumes—Dracula, Batman, Cousin Itt—and often had some of her clients over to the house. Among them: Alice Cooper. “I remember he brought fake vomit and dog poo to terrorize the housekeeper,” Reeves said. “He’d hang out, a regular dude.”
4. One of Keanu Reeves’s earliest roles was in a Coca-Cola commercial.
After getting parts on stage and Canadian television, Reeves landed a part as a cyclist in a Coke commercial in the 1980s. In 2018, The Late Late Show host James Corden asked the actor about the gig; Reeves remembered shooting over a three-day period, during which he drank “so many Coca-Colas.” In full commitment to the role, he also shaved his legs to look more believable as a cyclist.
5. Keanu Reeves almost renamed himself “Chuck Spadina.”
When Reeves came out to Los Angeles in the 1980s, he found that some casting agents were resistant to having him come in for auditions because his first name (which means “cool breeze over the mountains”) was hard to pronounce and seemingly too exotic. In order to combat this hurdle, Reeves began using “K.C. Reeves,” “Chuck Spadina,” and “Page Templeton III” instead. Reeves eventually abandoned the practice because he would go to auditions and tell them his real name anyway.
6. Keanu Reeves has a deep love for motorcycles.
Reeves first learned to ride a motorcycle while shooting a film in Germany, and purchased one for himself the moment he returned to the U.S. His favorite bike is the 1973 Norton Commando. He also bankrolled a custom motorcycle dealership, Arch Motorcycle Company.
7. Keanu Reeves also has an extensive history of motorcycle-related injuries.
If Reeves doesn’t ride his bike as fast (or often) as he used to, it’s because he’s been in a number of serious accidents while riding them. He has lost teeth, broken his ankle, gotten road rash, and ruptured his spleen, amongst other injuries.
8. In addition to his performances in River’s Edge, Dangerous Liaisons, and Parenthood, Keanu Reeves moonlighted in a music video.
In the same year Reeves appeared in Lawrence Kasdan’s I Love You to Death, he also appeared in the music video for Paula Abdul’s “Rush Rush,” the lead single from her sophomore album of the same name. Directed by Stefan Wurnitzer, the clip recreates moments from Rebel Without a Cause using locations from the original film, with Reeves playing the James Dean role opposite Abdul as Natalie Wood’s.
9. Keanu Reeves has been willing to defer his salary to get other actors in his movies.
Reeves has worked with an impressive list of actors in his career, including Al Pacino (1997’s The Devil’s Advocate), Gene Hackman (2000’s The Replacements), and Jack Nicholson (2003’s Something’s Gotta Give). In at least the first two instances, Reeves willingly deferred his compensation in order for the productions to free up some of their budget to be able to afford the actors.
"Is that all I have to do?" he recalled asking producers. "Sure! What else do I have to do? ‘Cause I’ll do it!"
10. Keanu Reeves’s commercial success has resulted in him subsidizing more than just a few high-profile casting choices.
Beyond deferring paychecks to work alongside the likes of Pacino and Nicholson, Reeves has earned more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life with a net worth reportedly along the lines of $360 million. But he gave away a portion of his salary for The Matrix sequels to provide more money for the visual effects and costume departments. And as a reward for those same stunt teams, Reeves recognized their great work by gifting them with Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
11. Keanu Reeves’s friendship with River Phoenix led to them co-starring in My Own Private Idaho.
Reeves and River Phoenix first became best friends on the set of I Love You to Death. Writer-director Gus Van Sant had written the script for My Own Private Idaho decades earlier, but continually found difficulty obtaining funding for it. However, after sending the script to Reeves, the young actor was so struck by it that he drove more than 1000 miles on his motorcycle to hand-deliver a copy to Phoenix. The two men agreed to star in the film on each other’s behalf, and history was made.
12. Keanu Reeves has been injured or sidelined by illness multiple times during shooting.
Reeves is known to be a trouper when it comes to shooting through pain, disability, and sickness, and his dedication to his colleagues is legendary. Several of his co-stars on The Matrix were injured during the wire work sequences on the film, and Reeves dealt with a spinal injury during filming when two of the discs in his back began to fuse together. He also suffered a neck injury which required fight coordinator Yuen Woo-Ping to create sequences that didn’t involve as much kicking. Later, he fought through an ankle injury before filming even began on The Matrix Reloaded. And during an extended sequence in the first John Wickmovie, a scene in which Reeves's character battles several dozen adversaries in a nightclub, he finished his work despite a 103 degree fever.
13. Keanu Reeves says turning down Speed 2 put him in “movie jail” for 10 years.
After the success of 1994’s Speed, where Reeves portrayed a cop trying to save the lives of people trapped on a bus rigged to explode if it dips below 50 miles an hour, the studio was understandably eager for a sequel. At the time he was shown the script, Reeves was shooting the 1996 action film Chain Reaction and was growing wary of roles where he was “running and jumping” for little to no reason. He turned Speed 2 down, a move that he believed led to a decade of “movie jail” where he was offered no other roles by Fox. Ultimately, the sequel was made; Reeves was replaced by Jason Patric, who co-starred with Sandra Bullock in 1997’s Speed 2: Cruise Control. The film was not well-received, and Reeves appears to have no regrets about saying no to it. At the time he turned it down, he recalled telling director Jan de Bont, “You know, boats aren’t that fast.”
14. Keanu Reeves only became a part of Keanu at the last minute.
John Wick and the 2014 action-comedy Keanu were developed independently from one another, and early reporting about the latter film indicated it was a parody of the former. Consequently, Reeves’s management turned down an offer to appear in the second film without notifying their client. But when Reeves saw the initial trailers for Keanu, he reached out to filmmaker Peter Atencio and got involved, leading to the cameo in which he provides the voice of the eponymous kitten.
15. It’s possible that Keanu Reeves accidentally married Winona Ryder.
While shooting 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Reeves and Winona Ryder—who played Jonathan and Mina Harker, respectively—appear in a scene in which their characters get married. Ryder later pointed out that director Francis Ford Coppola used a real priest in the scene and that both actors said their vows, meaning they might actually be married. Coppola agreed with this theory, although it’s not known whether the priest used their character names or the actors' real names during shooting.
16. Without Keanu Reeves, Weezer might not exist.
Reeves began the music project Dogstar after a chance encounter at a grocery store with drummer/ percussionist Robert Mailhouse in 1991. The band’s success was decidedly muted at best, but Reeves’s celebrity drove fans to the band and they toured successfully for several years in addition to recording several albums. Among the bands that performed with them on tour was Weezer, who played their first ever gig in 1992 as an opener for Dogstar.
17. Keanu Reeves has been booed offstage.
Reeves infamously toured with his band, Dogstar, in the 1990s, which played what he once described as “like, folk music,” or “folk thrash.” When they were invited to play Metalfest in Milwaukee, the band stood out in sharp contrast to the heavier acts on the bill. Reeves recalled that the crowd “threw beer at us and told us to f*** off and yelled, ‘You suck!’ It was beautiful. It made me laugh.”
18. Keanu Reeves was tricked into appearing in The Watcher.
In 2000’s The Watcher, Reeves plays against his typical onscreen affability as a serial killer in a cat-and-mouse game with a detective (James Spader). According to Reeves, he was actually tricked into appearing in the film when a (presumably former) friend forged his signature on the contract. Daunted by the prospect of trying to prove it was a forgery, he decided to go ahead and do the movie. “I couldn’t prove he did and I didn’t want to get sued, so I had no other choice but to do the film,” he said.
19. Keanu Reeves supports several charitable causes.
After his sister was diagnosed with leukemia, Reeves founded a private cancer foundation—not in his own name—to provide research and assist children’s hospitals. He additionally supported Stand Up to Cancer and SickKids Foundations with generous contributions, to facilitate pediatric research.
20. Keanu Reeves has a recurring role on a tv show you've probably never heard of.
It’s not unusual for film actors to take roles in one of the many prestige television series airing on streaming and premium networks. Reeves, however, seems to have taken a low-key approach to television, opting for a small recurring role in Swedish Dicks, a U.S. and Scandinavian co-production about two private detectives from Sweden trying to earn a living in Los Angeles. Reeves’s friend, actor Peter Stormare, is one of the stars. The comedy airs on the Pop TV channel in the U.S.
21. Keanu Reeves has published books of his own poetry.
In 2011, Reeves collaborated with artist Alexandra Grant for Ode to Happiness, a limited-run book featuring a poem written by Reeves and accompanied by Grant’s illustrations for each line. The composition (“I draw a hot sorrow bath”) is self-aware in its overwrought approach that Grant likened to a “grown-up children’s book.” The two have since gone on to work on 2016’s Shadows, a similar poem and art project featuring photos of Reeves, and are now pursuing their own publishing imprint, X Artists’ Books, to showcase titles with a visual aesthetic that are sold via art stores or an online subscription.
22. Keanu Reeves has always actively participated in the physical preparation required for his roles.
Gearing up for Point Break, Reeves spent weeks and weeks learning how to surf, and developed the sport as a hobby. When Reeves was cast in Speed, the actor spent several months gaining muscle for the role. By the time it came to shoot the scene in which his character Jack Traven jumps from a moving car onto the bus, Jan De Bont was convinced that a stunt man would be required, but Reeves has practiced in private and was able to wow the director with his preparation and skill in pulling off the stunt. And just for the scene where Neo emerges from his pod inside The Matrix, Reeves shaved his entire body and lost 15 pounds for what amounted to just a few short minutes of screen time.
23. Keanu Reeves’s passion for—and recognition of—other storytellers’ passion—has led to many of his iconic roles.
As described above multiple times, Keanu took a part or played a role because of an actor ot storyteller’s dedication to a project. Always Be My Maybe was no exception. Casting him in the film was considered a “pipe dream” by director Nahnatchka Khan, but the actor was a longtime fan of comedian and star Ali Wong, so when the opportunity arose, he reworked his schedule to accommodate the film. He even ended up contributing a handful of ideas that expanded his character (at his own expense), like wearing glasses that had no lenses.
24. The John Wick franchise might not exist without The Matrix.
Reeves signed to star in the film, originally titled Scorn, after Thunder Road Pictures acquired Derek Kolstad’s script. He subsequently reached out to Chad Stahelski and David Leitch to see if they were interested in choreographing or directing the action of the film, after Stahelski performed as Reeves’s stunt double in The Matrix, and he and Leitch later helped choreograph action in the sequels. It was their vision for the film that inspired Reeves to back them not just as stunt coordinators but co-directors for the film.
25. Without John Wick, there might not have been a Bill & Ted Face the Music.
Reeves hadn’t seriously thought about reprising the role of Theodore “Ted” Logan until 2005 when a red carper reporter asked him about returning to the character. It took another five years before Alex Winter had created an idea that everyone felt was substantial or worthy enough to explore for another film. The project spent another several years languishing in development thanks to the commercial prospects of the stars, but the success of John Wick rekindled studio interest in making a third film. That franchise’s success generated heat for all of the films he was attached to, and Bill & Ted 3 picked up steam from there.