11 Poets Who Wrote Dirty Verse

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ThinkStock

Think poets are just stodgy writers who sit at their desks penning boring poems? Think again. Here are eleven poets who sometimes showed their bawdier sides.

1. T.S. Eliot

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Eliot had a reputation for being a stodgy poet, but he’s one of the most well-known Modernists and responsible for some of the most widely read poems in the English language (The Waste Land and The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock being two of his most famous, along with the ending of The Hollow Men, which was influenced by Dante and his Divine Comedy). But in his early years he wrote a series of scatological limericks including the racist caricature of a well-endowed ruler named “King Bolo.” One of the stanzas reads:

King Bolo’s Royal Body Guard
Were called ‘The Jersey Lilies’—
A bold and bestial set of blacks
Undaunted by syphilis.
They wore the national uniform
Of a garland of verbenas
And a pair of big black hairy balls
And a big black hairy penis.

Another example of Eliot’s latent dirty verse is in his poem The Triumph of Bullsh*t. The Oxford English Dictionary cites the poem, which was not published during Eliot’s lifetime, as the first use of the word “bullsh*t.” It ends with the following stanza:

And when thyself with silver foot shalt pass
Among the Theories scattered on the grass
Take up my good intentions with the rest
And then for Christ’s sake stick them up your ass.

2. John Donne

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Donne is considered to be the most prominent member of the Metaphysical poets, a group of seventeenth century British lyricists who used complex metaphors called “conceits” in sonnets and poems about topics like love or religion. Though he became an Anglican priest in 1615 and was later appointed Dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, he spent much of his early years as an educated womanizer. Maybe his early experiences helped him when writing these eloquently cheeky lines from To His Mistress Going to Bed:

Come, Madam, come, all rest my powers defy,
Until I labour, I in labour lie.
The foe oft-times having the foe in sight,
Is tired with standing though they never fight.
Off with that girdle, like heaven’s come glistering,
But a far fairer world encompassing.
Unpin that ‘spangled’ breastplate which you wear,
That th’ eyes of busy fools may be stopped there.

And later:

By this these angels from an evil sprite,
Those set our hairs, but these our flesh upright.
License my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below.

3. Robert Burns

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This trailblazer of the Romantic Movement is also the national poet of Scotland, and is even known as “The Bard” in his native land (take that Shakespeare!). But Burns is probably best known by students as that poet who wrote in that weird Scots dialect you can’t really understand.

You may know that we sing the lyrics to his poem Auld Lang Syne every New Year’s Eve, and that his poem, Comin’ Thro’ the Rye, is the children’s song misinterpreted by Holden Caulfield in JD Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye—but you probably didn’t know it has a more explicit version.

The traditional verse of one of the stanzas is like this:

  Gin a body meet a body
    Comin thro' the grain,
Gin a body kiss a body,
   The thing's a body's ain.
Comin’ thro’ the rye, etc.

While the dirty version of the same stanza reads like this:

Gin a body meet a body
   Comin’ thro’ the grain,
Gin a body f**k a body,
   C**t’s a body’s ain.
Comin’ thro’ the rye, etc.

In the dialect Burns uses, “gin” means “if” and “ain” means “own,” but those other words, well, they’ll just have to speak for themselves.

4. Ovid

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Known for his long narrative poem the Metamorphoses, Ovid is one of the best writers in all of Latin literature. His mastery of the elegiac couplet is unparalleled, and his writing greatly influenced everyone from J.M.W. Turner to Miguel de Cervantes. But who knew he was kind of a perv? Ovid's first completed book of poetry, Amores, is a poetic account of a love affair with a high-class lady named Corinna. Here is a selection from that book's In Summer’s Heat:

Then came Corinna in a long, loose gown,
Her white neck hid with tresses hanging down,
Resembling fair Semiramis going to bed,
Or Lais of a thousand wooers sped.
I snatched her gown, being thin the harm was small,
Yet strived she to be covered therwithal,
And, striving thus as one that would be chaste,
Betrayed herself, and yielded at the last.
Stark naked as she stood before mine eye,
Not one wen in her body could I spy.
What arms and shoulders did I touch and see?
How apt her breasts were to be pressed by me?
How smooth a belly under her waist saw I?
How large a leg, and what a lusty thigh?
To leave the rest, all liked me passing well;
I clinged her naked body, down she fell.
Judge you the rest. Being tired, she bade me kiss.
Jove send me more such afternoons as this.

5. John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester

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Despite being a courtier of King Charles II in the 17th century, John Wilmot was one of the most notorious rakes in British history. He spent some time in the Tower of London for plotting to kidnap a young countess who refused his hand in marriage, impersonated a gynecologist in order to examine young women without provoking their husbands’ suspicions, and produced poetic works of such depravity that they were all virtually banned during the Victorian era. Here are a couple of selections from his poem about a lovely little walk in the park called A Ramble in St. James’ Park:

Much wine had passed, with grave discourse
Of who f**ks who, and who does worse
(Such as you usually do hear
From those that diet at the Bear),
When I, who still take care to see
Drunkenness relieved by lechery,
Went out into St. James’ Park
To cool my head and fire my heart.

But though St. James has th’honour on ‘t,
‘Tis consecrate to pr**k and c**t.
There, by most incestuous birth,
Strange woods spring from the teeming earth.

And:

And nightly now beneath their shade
Are buggeries, rapes, and incests made.
Unto this all-sin-sheltering grove
Whores of the bulk and the alcove,
Great ladies, chambermaids and drudges,
The ragpicker, and heiress trudges.
Carmen, divines, great lords, and tailors,
Prentices, poets, pimps, and jailers,
Footmen, fine fops, do here arrive,
And here promiscuously swive.

6. Jonathan Swift

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The Irish writer of Gulliver’s Travels is perhaps the greatest satirist ever. He is, after all, the man who mockingly suggested that the poor Irish population might ease their troubles by selling their children as food for upper class English ladies and gentlemen in A Modest Proposal. His poem The Lady’s Dressing-Room is also ingeniously hyperbolic, and tells of a man named Strephon who sneaks into his mistress Celia’s empty dressing room to fawn over his ideal image of her only to find himself repulsed by what he finds. Here are a couple of stanzas:

To stinking smoke it turns the flame,
Poisoning the flesh from whence it came,
And up exhales a greasy stench
For which you cursed careless wench:
So, things which must not be expressed
When plumped into the reeking chest
Send up an excremental smell
To taint the parts from whence they fell:
The petticoats and gown perfume
And waft a stink around every room.
 
Thus, finishing his grand survey,
The swain, disgusted, slunk away,
Repeating, in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia sh*ts.

7.  W.H. Auden

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The Funeral Blues writer’s influence was debated throughout his life among early twentieth century literary types in his native England, especially in the shadow of other poetic giants like T.S. Eliot. But the New York School of poets, including John Ashbery, later embraced him. In this section from his poem Babies in Their Mothers’ Arms, he writes about, ahem, "self-love":

With the Duchy of his mind:
All his lifetime he will find
Swollen knee or aching tooth
Hostile to his quest for truth;
Never will his pr**k belong
To his world of right and wrong,
Nor its values comprehend
Who is foe and who is friend.

8. ee cummings

Wikimedia Commons

Cummings embraced various avant garde styles in his poetry, and would let Dada and surrealism influence his writing after he visited Paris in the 1920s and 1930s. Like many of his poems, she being Brand foregoes many rules of English syntax, but its explicit car metaphors don’t leave much to the imagination. Here's a section:

(having
thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch (and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell) next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning) just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

9.  Seamus Heaney

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Ask any literary type who the best living poet is, and Heaney’s name will inevitably be in the mix. The winner of countless literary awards, including the 1995 Nobel Prize, he was called “the most important Irish poet since Yeats” by former Poet Laureate Robert Lowell. But Heaney is also known to sometimes write suggestively cheeky poetry as well. His poem Victorian Guitar includes the epigraph “Inscribed ‘Belonged to Louisa Catherine Coe before her marriage to John Charles Smith, March 1852’,” and features the following stanzas: 

Louisa Catherine Smith could not be light.
Far more than a maiden name
Was cancelled by him on the first night.
 
I believe he cannot have known your touch
Like this instrument – for clearly
John Charles did not hold with fingering—
 
Which is obviously a lady’s:
The sound-box trim as a girl in stays,
The neck right for the smallest span.
 
Did you even keep track of it as a wife?
Do you know the man who has it now
Is giving it the time of its life?

10. John Berryman

The Poetry Foundation

Berryman won the 1965 Pulitzer Prize for Poetry for his nebulous, semi-autobiographical collection of poems, 77 Dream Songs, which follows an unfortunate series of events in the life of a main character, who bears a resemblance to Berryman, named Henry. The ever-evolving poems are known for their unusual phrases and changes in perspective. Also, they’re sometimes dirty in an abstract way. Take, for example, Dream Song 4:

Filling her compact & delicious body
with chicken páprika, she glanced at me
twice.

Fainting with interest, I hungered back
and only the fact of her husband & four other people
kept me from springing on her
 
or falling at her little feet and crying
'You are the hottest one for years of night
Henry's dazed eyes
have enjoyed, Brilliance.' I advanced upon
(despairing) my spumoni.--Sir Bones: is stuffed,
de world, wif feeding girls.
 
-Black hair, complexion Latin, jewelled eyes
downcast . . . The slob beside her feasts . . . What wonders is
she sitting on, over there?
The restaurant buzzes. She might as well be on Mars.
Where did it all go wrong? There ought to be a law against
Henry.
-Mr. Bones: there is.

11. Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine

Wikimedia Commons/Getty Images

The absinthe-tinged love affair between Rimbaud and Verlaine is the stuff of literary legend. The 17-year-old Rimbaud wrote to the 27-year-old Verlaine—whose wife was pregnant at the time—and soon moved into their home in Paris in 1871. Shortly after, the two lovers fled to London and lived in relative squalor, spending days on end at the Reading Room in the British Museum because the pens and ink were free. Their relationship grew extremely bitter, and eventually came to an end after Verlaine was sentenced to prison for shooting Rimbaud and wounding him in the left wrist. Rimbaud would end up writing influential classics such as A Season in Hell before abandoning poetry altogether at 20. During their travels in London, the two collaborated on a sonnet called Lines on the Arsehole, a ribald tribute to, um, the anus. Verlaine contributed an octet and Rimbaud contributed a sestet. Here are some salacious sections from both poets.

Verlaine:

Crumpled like a carnation, mauve and dim
It breathes, cowering humbly in the moss
Still wet with love which trickles down across
The soft slope of white buttocks to its rim.

Rimbaud:

My mouth mates often with this breathing-hole.
While matter goes and comes, my jealous soul
Makes tawny tears there in its next of sighs

Sources:  The Faber Book of Blue Verse, edited by John Whitworth; Inventions of the March Hare - Poems 1909-1917 by TS Eliot and edited by Christopher Ricks; Poets.org.

30 Smart Home Products That Make Life Easier

Amazon
Amazon

Whether you just left for vacation and realized you forgot to turn the lights off or are dealing with a finicky thermostat as the height of summer approaches, there's a smart gadget out there that can solve just about any modern-day inconvenience. So to help make your life a little easier, we picked out some of our favorite smart products, ranging from TVs armed with all your favorite apps to doorbells that double as security cameras. And best of all, you can operate most of these right from your phone. Check out the list below.

1. Amazon Echo Show; $130

An Amazon Echo display.
Amazon

Amazon's Echo Show might seem like just another one of the company's countless smart devices—it's compatible with Alexa, responds to voice commands, and can control countless apps—but what sets it apart is the 8-inch HD screen, which is perfect for displaying your photos, making video calls, watching how-to videos, and much more. Far from redundant, there are countless ways that the Echo Show's display can make your life easier.

Buy it: Amazon

2. Nest Thermostat; $219

A Nest thermostat.
Google/Amazon

Simply connect this smart thermostat to your Wi-Fi and you’re all set to adjust your home's temperature from just about any of your devices. The Nest even keeps track of the weather outside and adjusts accordingly, so your home will always be at the ideal temperature. And the whole setup is DIY-friendly, meaning a pricey installation isn't completely necessary.

Buy it: Amazon

3. Smart Speaker with Google Assistant; $100

The Google Assistant.
Best Buy

If you're choosing to live in the Google ecosystem, this Google Assistant speaker is going to be your essential smart hub. Similar to Amazon's Echo, this device pairs to more than 1000 different smart products and apps, allowing you to control them with your voice. And instead of Googling questions on your phone, you can simply ask the speaker. This is basically the central nervous system for your smart home.

Buy it: Best Buy

4. TCL 4K Smart Roku TV; $270

A 50-inch smart tv.
TCL/Amazon

With several sizes available, this TV from TCL can turn any room into an entertainment center with its built-in Roku functionality. Stream your favorite movies and shows in HD from apps like Netflix, Hulu, and HBO, and hook it up to your Alexa device to control the television with your voice.

Buy it: Amazon

5. Amazon Fire Stick; $50

An Amazon Fire Stick
Amazon

Just because you don’t have a smart TV doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the benefits of one. The Amazon Fire Stick plugs into your TV's HDMI port and allows you to watch all your shows and movies on Netflix, YouTube, Prime, Disney Plus, and most other major streaming services. And since it hooks up to a user's Amazon account, you can also make purchases right from the TV.

Buy it: Amazon

6. 55-Inch Toshiba Smart LED TV; $450

A Toshiba smart television from Amazon.
Toshiba/Amazon

This Toshiba smart TV has all the functions of an Amazon Fire Stick built directly into it, allowing you to access your favorite apps and subscription services through a remote or Alexa voice commands. And with the 4K video quality, the shows and movies you love have never looked better. No gadgets or add-ons necessary, everything you need for the perfect entertainment setup is in this television.

Buy it: Amazon

7. Nebula Soundbar – Fire TV Edition; $230

Anker's Nebula Soundbar.
Anker/Amazon

Along with playing the audio from your television, this soundbar has all the Amazon Fire Stick capabilities built right into it. If you're already invested in Amazon's smart products, this is the ideal soundbar to complement it all.

Buy it: Amazon

8. Kasa Smart Plug; $25

Smart plugs from Amazon.
TP-Link/Amazon

These smart plugs operate through an app, so you can plug gadgets and appliances into them and control power from your phone. You can also have the plugs on a schedule that will power off the connected devices whenever you're not home. This is a low-cost way to control your favorite non-smart devices remotely, and can help cut down on energy waste.

Buy it: Amazon

9. Philips LED Smart Lights; $100

Philips Hue smart lightbulbs.
Philips Hue/Amazon

You'll never know true convenience until you've tried smart lights. Through the Philips Hue app, you can turn your lights on or off remotely, and you'll even be able to set schedules so your lights know when you leave the house and come home every day. Plus, smart bulbs consume far less electricity than traditional ones, which can help you save a little money, too.

Buy it: Amazon

10. Tile Pro; $60

Tile Pro GPS Tracker
Tile/Amazon

The Tile Pro will keep you from losing your keys, phones, and any other devices you just can’t live without. All you need to do is clip the device to whatever you want to keep track of and then download the app. You can learn more about the Tile by heading here.

Buy it: Amazon

11. LG Smart Refrigerator; $1800

An LG smart refrigerator.
Best Buy

This smart refrigerator from LG comes equipped with an InstaView panel, allowing you to look inside at what you've got to eat without opening the door and wasting electricity. It also comes with a smart cooling system, which can be controlled with either Alexa or Google Assistant. This monitors the temperature inside and makes any necessary adjustments.

Buy it: Best Buy

12. Smart Instant Pot; $125

A smart Instant Pot on Amazon.
Instant Pot/Amazon

Not only does this one appliance combine a pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, and four other devices into one, but you can operate all of those different settings through an app. Now, you can schedule cooking times, monitor your food's progress, and access recipes from wherever you are.

Buy it: Amazon

13. Corsori Smart Wi-Fi Air Fryer; $120

The smart Corsori air fryer.
Cosori/Amazon

Similar to the smart Instant Pot, you can schedule and monitor the progress of your hot wings and French fries all from the VeSync app. This device is as simple as it comes: just throw your ingredients in, schedule a time on your phone, and wait for the notification when it's all done. You can also find recipes on the app, so the instructions for the perfect crispy shrimp will only be a click away.

Buy it: Amazon

14. Perfect Drink Pro; $100

The Perfect Drink Pro.
Perfect Company/Amazon

Rise above amateur mixologist and start competing with the pros. All you have to do is select what drink you’re having in the app, put your glassware on the scale, and add the ingredients. The app will let you know in real time when you've added enough of each ingredient and which one to use next. It's a foolproof way to nail your favorite cocktail.

Buy it: Amazon

15. Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug; $80

A smart coffee mug that keeps your drink warm.
Ember/Amazon

Never let your coffee or tea go lukewarm again. This smart mug keeps your beverage hot and can last up to one hour on a single charge. When it's out of juice, simply throw it onto the charger, which doubles as a coaster. And through the app, you can choose your ideal temperature, receive notifications, and more.

Buy it: Amazon

16. Hamilton Beach Works Coffee Maker; $90

A smart Hamilton coffee maker
Hamilton/Amazon

Now you can make sure your coffee is ready to go before you get out of bed. The Hamilton Beach Works Coffee Maker connects to the Alexa app, so you can tell your coffee maker to start brewing, how you want it made, and more. And if you happen to leave the house without turning it off, you can simply take care of it from the app.

Buy it: Amazon

17. Anova Culinary Sous Vide Precision Cooker Nano; $99

The Anova Cuisine Sous Vide Precision Cooker.
Anova Cuisine/Amazon

This tool takes all the guesswork out of the sous vide culinary method, which involves cooking meat slowly in water that's set to very specific temperatures. It's tricky to do manually, but through the Anova app, you can control the device down to granular details, including exact times and temperatures. You'll even get access to recipes, helping you learn exactly how to make the food as delicious as possible. Learn more about how it works by heading here.

Buy it: Amazon

18. Etekcity Digital Kitchen Scale; $30

A smart scale from Amazon.
Etekcity/Amazon

Eating healthy just got a lot easier. This scale has an app that will detail the calories and nutritional facts of all the food you weigh, while keeping track of your daily meals and snacks. You can also sync the information with your Fitbit or Apple Health app to get a clear picture of what you're really eating every day, and how many calories you're burning.

Buy it: Amazon

19. GE Smart Microwave; $145

A smart microwave.
Best Buy

If you're tired of heating up food only to have it hot on the outside and cold in the middle, you need this microwave. Its Scan-to-Cook technology enables you to send package cooking instructions from your smartphone to the microwave, so you'll always cook your food for the proper time.

Buy it: Best Buy

20. iDevices Kitchen Thermometer; $80

A smart thermometer for cooking.
iDevices/Amazon

With this smart thermometer, all you have to do is set up what your food's temperature should be on your app and stick the thermometer in the meat you're cooking. The app will monitor the rest, and when it reaches the right temperature, you'll get a notification.

Buy it: Amazon

21. Garage Door Opener; $36

A smart garage door opener.
Chamberlain/Amazon

If you want some more peace of mind, this smart device allows you to open and close your garage door from your phone, wherever you are. You'll also get alerts if the doors open without your consent or if you simply forget to close the door after heading out for work in the morning.

Buy it: Amazon

22. iRobot Roomba; $269

The iRobot vacuum cleaner.
iRobot/Amazon

The Roomba was among the first robot vacuums to hit the market, and the models have only gotten sleeker and better over time. This one can be controlled through its native Roomba app, or through the major smart hubs. Scheduling cleanings has never been easier, since all you're really doing is punching a few commands into your phone. The vacuum will then embark on its cleaning journey on its own, even if you're not home. And when the Roomba is out of juice, it will automatically head back to its charging station to power back up.

Buy it: Amazon

23. Ring Smart Doorbell; $169

a smart doorbell.
Ring/Amazon

The Ring Smart Doorbell connects to your smartphone, Echo Show, and other devices, allowing you to watch a live feed of your front door in real time. You can also speak to visitors through the app and keep tabs on the video stream even if you're away from home. This one is ideal for users already set up with Amazon's smart hub.

Buy it: Amazon

24. Rachio Three Smart Sprinkler Controller; $219

A Rachio smart sprinkler system.
Rachio/Amazon

The Rachio sprinkler system can help keep your lawn and garden lush and vibrant all through your smartphone. It allows you to schedule waterings, monitors your water usage, and keeps tabs on the weather to avoid turning on in the rain.

Buy it: Amazon

25. eufy Security Wi-Fi Video Doorbell; $160

A smart doorbell.
eufy/Amazon

The eufy smart doorbell, which is similar to the Ring, has two-way audio that allows you to communicate with anyone at the door, in addition to allowing you to pre-record messages while you're away. No matter where you are, you can see who's at your door through eufy’s app.

Buy it: Amazon

26. August Home Smart Lock; $194

A smart lock.
August Home/Amazon

We've all experienced the heart-dropping horror of locking the door behind us, only to remember the keys were still inside. With the August Home Smart Lock, you can unlock or lock your door from wherever you happen to be by using the company's app (don't worry, there's a walkthrough). Or, better yet, you can just use voice commands. For a little added security, there's also a feature that will send you notifications every time your door opens or closes when you're not around.

Buy it: Amazon

27. Sensibo Sky Smart Air Conditioner; $199

A smart air conditioning system.
Sensibo/Amazon

Along with being able to set weekly schedules for your air conditioner seven days in advance, you can use the Sensibo app to control the system from anywhere on a daily basis. And like the Nest Thermostat, the Sensibo keeps track of the temperature outside and adjusts accordingly. If you've got pets, it's the easiest way to make sure your home is at a comfortable temperature when you're not there.

Buy it: Amazon

28. Aromatherapy Smart Essential Oil Diffuser; $40

A smart essential oil diffuser.
Sierra Modern Home/Amazon

If your version of relaxation includes some essential oils, this smart diffuser can release those soothing scents without any real work involved. The app allows you to control the mist intensity and LED lights from your phone, and it can also be controlled with voice commands with the help of Alexa and Google Home.

Buy it: Amazon

29. PetSafe Food Dispenser; $180

A smart pet food dispenser.
Petsafe/Amazon

An automatic feeder is a lifesaver for a busy pet owner, but what about one that you can control with your phone? With the Petsafe, you can dispense food from anywhere and schedule up to 12 meals at a time, all from an app. It's perfect for the cat whose go-to meal is dry food.

Buy it: Amazon

30. Furbo Dog Camera; $199

The Furbo camera.
Furbo/Amazon

The Furbo also allows you to monitor your dog on video from wherever you may be. You can even remotely launch treats, so you can give your canine companion some love even when you're at work or on vacation.

Buy it: Amazon

At Mental Floss, we only write about the products we love and want to share with our readers, so all products are chosen independently by our editors. Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers and may receive a percentage of any sale made from the links on this page. Prices and availability are accurate as of the time of publication.

100 Banned Personalized License Plates

Your car's license plate can say a lot about you.
Your car's license plate can say a lot about you.
Eli Christman, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

In October 2010, the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission dispatched a letter [PDF] to a resident who had received a personalized license plate that read 33MTA3. The letter informed the driver that the plate was issued in error and could not be granted due to the fact it violated Title 39, which stipulates that a vanity plate “offensive to good taste or decency in any language” is prohibited.

If you’re wondering how 33MTA3 might be considered offensive, look at it in a mirror.

Personalized license plates are a bane of each state's motor vehicle division, as drivers can sometimes request a combination of letters and numbers that might prove problematic for the reasons described above. The resource site GovernmentAttic.org wrote to state offices in Arizona, Colorado, New Jersey, and New York to get some examples of the types of vulgar plates prohibited by law, and you can take a look at the highlights below. (If you notice that common expletives or slurs are omitted, rest assured they’re part of the list. We’re not going to repeat them here.)

Plates Banned in Arizona [PDF]

A man is pictured removing a license plate from a car
Arizonians are prohibited from using DRUGDLR, among other plates.
Jens Rother/iStock via Getty Images
  1. ASSCLWN
  2. BIGFART
  3. CRKHEAD
  4. DAPOOP
  5. DRGBALZ
  6. DRUGDLR
  7. GOT2PEE
  8. IBALLIN
  9. MCBOOB
  10. OOBIES
  11. PEEPEE
  12. PERVY
  13. PHORPLAY
  14. POOOOP
  15. PSDOFF
  16. PUKFACE
  17. RACIST
  18. REDPILL
  19. RU8TEEN
  20. SCAMINU
  21. SCROTUM
  22. SHWING
  23. SLAVE1
  24. SNORTIN
  25. SPANKME

Plates Banned in Colorado [PDF]

A man is pictured securing a license plate to a car
Colorado prefers drivers not identify as MSBOOTY.
victorass88/iStock via Getty Images
  1. BENDOVR
  2. BOYTOY
  3. DAMFINE
  4. DRUGS1
  5. EATPOO
  6. FATBUTT
  7. GIMEAZZ
  8. IAMNUDE
  9. IGETNKD
  10. ILFRT4U
  11. JRKWAD
  12. MSBOOTY
  13. ONMETH
  14. PHART
  15. POOPONU
  16. PORNSTR
  17. RUBBIT
  18. RUEZIM
  19. SMUT
  20. SNOHOE
  21. TOOSEXY
  22. UDDERS
  23. WEEWEE
  24. WETDRMS
  25. WHIPME

Plates Banned in New Jersey [PDF]

A New Jersey license plate is pictured
GOTMILF is among the vanity plates that New Jersey will turn down.
Kathleen Gail/iStock via Getty Images
  1. BADASS
  2. BALLNN
  3. BIOCH
  4. BOOBIES (BOOB1ES)
  5. DKLKR
  6. COPUL8
  7. DEZNUTS
  8. ENDOWED
  9. FORPLAY
  10. GETSOM
  11. GOTMILF
  12. ILOVEAZ
  13. LMAO
  14. MUDRFER
  15. NMPHO
  16. OMGWTF
  17. PHOCER
  18. PHOQUE
  19. PHOKU2
  20. PUCKIN
  21. QQYASHIT
  22. ROCKSNOT
  23. SUMNUTS
  24. UPUTZ
  25. VIB8R

Plates Banned in New York [PDF]

A New York license plate is pictured
New Yorkers cannot opt for AWCHIT at the DMV.
Netalieh/iStock via Getty Images
  1. ASS
  2. ASSOUL (ASS0UL)
  3. AWCHIT (AWCH1T)
  4. BOOBS (B00BS)
  5. BUTT
  6. COITUS (CO1TUS)
  7. DILDO (DILD0)
  8. DMSHT
  9. DORK
  10. DRUGSALE
  11. EATME
  12. FART
  13. FBI (FB1)
  14. FOC (F0K)
  15. GONAD (G0NAD)
  16. HUMPIN (HUMP1N)
  17. KOTEX (K0TEX)
  18. MAFIA (MAF1A)
  19. ORGY (0RGY)
  20. PIMP (P1MP)
  21. PVERT
  22. SEXBUS
  23. UBGAY
  24. UPYURZ
  25. VULVA

SECTIONS

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