12 Secrets of FedEx Delivery Drivers

Chris Hondros/Getty Images
Chris Hondros/Getty Images

They carry little package scanners that look like Star Trek tricorders. They can deliver to literally any street address in the United States. And with an average of 13 million packages delivered daily—many of them containing consumer merchandise—they beat the brakes off Santa’s productivity. They’re FedEx drivers, a smart and efficient fleet of employees who represent the final step in getting your goods right to your doorstep.

With the company’s 160,000 vehicles experiencing peak volume in time for the holidays, Mental Floss asked several drivers about some of the lesser-known facts surrounding their job. Read on to find out why they’re sometimes followed, why they hide packages, and what happens when they have to pee while on the clock.

1. NOT ALL FEDEX DRIVERS ACTUALLY WORK FOR FEDEX.

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Surprised? So were we. According to Ian, a former driver in Ohio, FedEx Express and FedEx Ground are actually two separate entities. “Most of the routes for Ground are contracted out to save money,” he says. “People can purchase the routes [from FedEx] and then hire their own drivers.” While that shouldn’t affect the consumer all that much, Ian says that he sometimes encountered people who were upset that, as an Express employee, he couldn’t pick up Ground packages. Ground drivers also tend to handle the larger, heavier items that aren’t being sent overnight. “Express can be more business and paperwork,” he says.

Another key difference: FedEx Express drivers often get sleek Mercedes Sprinter vans, while Ground has to settle for whatever their contractor wants them to use. Ian drove for both, but when he was a Ground driver, “I didn’t have any heat or air conditioning. In winter, it was like driving a giant freezer.”

2. THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE CELL PHONES IN THE TRUCK.

Although Express trucks are fancy, they’re not loaded with GPS or other high-tech distractions. According to Tony, an Express driver based in Georgia, the company frowns on having electronic devices of any kind in the cab. “None of the trucks even have radios,” he says. “You’re supposed to leave your phone in the back with the packages.” Headphones and earbuds are also prohibited, although Tony says some drivers use a wireless Bluetooth speaker up front to stream music from their phone in the back. For directions, drivers use map books—but most know their route well enough to not need the help.

3. THEY CAN EARN BONUSES FOR NOT SMASHING YOUR STUFF.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Despite the occasional security camera footage of FedEx and UPS drivers tossing packages over fences or otherwise trying their best to use boxes as footballs, the reality is that drivers have no desire to mishandle your goods—just the opposite. "If a driver does throw packages [or] break stuff he'll be cut very quickly,” says James, a Ground driver from Washington. “My contractor has a bonus every month. It’s like $50 to $100 for doing good. It’s an equation [based] on how many mis-deliveries and late pickups I have. If I come clean with nothing wrong for the month, I get the full bonus.”

4. THEY CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE SHIPPING SOMETHING VALUABLE.

People tend to try and cloak more valuable shipments by using a little misdirection: Ian says he’s seen a number of packages sent along in diaper boxes to throw people off the value of their contents. “They can weigh something like 80 pounds, or as little as five ounces, but it's never actual diapers,” he says. He can also tell if people are shipping ammo—it rattles—or blood, but the latter is a bit of a cheat: Biohazards are clearly marked (or should be). "And no one wants to spill them."

5. THEY MAY NOT LEAVE A PACKAGE BEHIND IF THE NEIGHBORHOOD SEEMS SKETCHY.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

For packages where the sender doesn’t require a signature, FedEx employees are left to use their own discretion on whether to leave a package unattended or reserve delivery for another day. If the address or neighborhood seems run down or otherwise at a higher risk of theft, they may opt for the latter. If not, they’ll do their best to make the delivery discreet. “I go out of my way to keep packages secure and out of sight from the public,” James says. “For instance, many houses have pillars, so I try to conceal the package behind them so it’s hard to see from the street.”

6. THEY WISH YOU’D PUT UP A HOUSE NUMBER.

One of the top reasons your package might be delayed? Because the driver doesn’t know which house is yours. “People are bad about not putting numbers on their house,” Tony says. “I’ll wind up driving up and down the road, trying to figure out which house I need or which entrance to use.”

7. THEY CAN USUALLY TELL IF YOU’RE TRYING TO SHIP DRUGS.

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While FedEx sorting facilities get visits from DEA agents and their drug-sniffing canines, Ian says that drivers can often tell when someone is trying to make them inadvertent drug couriers. “People will wrap packages of weed in tons of duct tape or use some kind of fragrance to mask the smell,” he says. “It’s all a giveaway.” Sometimes, agents will let the drivers deliver the package so recipients can get delivered to a jail cell.

8. THE HOLIDAY SEASON MEANS A LOT OF PACKAGE FRAUD.

Package volume obviously goes up during the holidays, but Tony says that there’s also an increase in items bought using someone’s stolen identity. “People will order something, maybe thousands of dollars’ worth of leather jackets, and then say they’ll pick it up at the sorting facility,” he says. “That way, they can avoid having it delivered to the address on file with the [stolen] card.” But there’s a wrinkle: FedEx is often so efficient during this time of the year that items they expect to arrive in three days might get there in two. “Then you get people calling up asking who ordered all these jackets.”

9. DELIVERY NOT ON TIME? BLAME YOUR DOG.

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Dogs and delivery people have a rich, occasionally bloody history. If you have a time-sensitive delivery coming, you may want to rethink letting your canine roam the front yard. “Some dog owners don’t seem to understand that if your dog is roaming loose I won’t try and get into your property,” James says. “I know some drivers who know specific dogs and refuse to leave their trucks if the dog is there. If the dog walks up to me I'll pet him and leave the package. But if he gets hostile ... I'll try again the next day.”

10. THEY SOMETIMES GET FOLLOWED.

When driving, Ian would sometimes notice a tail behind him. That’s because some thieves have been known to follow delivery drivers and scoop up packages as they’re being dropped off. “We were taught to keep an eye out for familiar vehicles following us,” he says. “They knew people weren’t at home during the day, would wait until we were around the corner, and then pick up the package.” If you’re ordering something expensive like a TV, this is a good reason to request a signature. “It blows my mind how many people wouldn’t bother paying the extra $2.50 to make the signature required.”

11. THEY WISH YOU'D STOP RE-USING BOXES.

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When Tony sees packages arrive from freight trucks looking like they’ve been beaten with baseball bats, chances are it’s due in part because the shipper has re-used a box too often. The weakened cardboard is giving out, forcing employees to label it damaged upon arrival and hope nothing is broken. “We never want to deliver something broken,” he says. “Sometimes we’ll repackage it.”

12. WHEN THEY GOTTA GO, THEY GOTTA GO.

Drivers don’t usually have set shifts. Instead, their day ends when all packages have been delivered, so being efficient with their time is important. When it comes to needing the bathroom, some drivers opt for a detour—others don’t. “I'll take the five minutes and go to a gas station to [pee],” James says. “If I need to go number two I'll go in an apartment building that I know. But I've [gone riding] with drivers who have a big jug in their truck, that they [pee] in. Its gross but understandable.”

12 Perfectly Spooky Halloween Decorations Under $25

Amazon/shopDisney
Amazon/shopDisney

Halloween is right around the corner—which means it’s officially time to bring out the jack-o'-lanterns, watch scary movies, buy your costume(s), and hang up your festive decorations. Although there are thousands of decorations to choose from, you don’t have to blow your budget while decking out your house or apartment in honor of the spooky season this year. With a little guidance, you'll find plenty of ways to create the perfect ambiance at home without going for broke. (And best of all, you can put the money you saved toward extra Halloween candy to stash away.)

From giant spiders to hanging ghosts and lawn decorations, here are a few of our favorite props under $25.

1. Halloween Pillow Covers (4-Pack); $17

ZJHAI/Amazon

These adorable Halloween-themed pillowcases make the perfect accessory for any couch, sofa, or mattress. Made with thick linen fabric, these are durable, sturdy, and designed to last for seasons to come. (Tip: To prevent the zipper from breaking, fold the pillow in half before inserting.)

Buy it: Amazon

2. Black Lace Spiderweb Fireplace Mantle; $12

Aerwo/Amazon

This versatile spiderweb prop is made with 100-percent polyester, and its knit lace spiderweb pattern adds a spooky touch to any home. Display it on your doorway, across your fireplace mantel, or atop your table. (It also makes a great backdrop for Halloween photo ops.)

Buy it: Amazon

3. Statement Halloween Signs; $16

Dazonge/Amazon

These festive, statement-making banners come pre-assembled, making them incredibly easy to install. They’re also weather-resistant and washable for both outdoor and indoor use. Use tape, push-pins, or weights to prevent the signs from blowing away.

Buy it: Amazon

4. Jack Skellington and Sally Plush Dolls; $23 (Each)

Disney

Celebrate your favorite holiday with a pair of adorable Jack Skellington and Sally plush dolls from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. Jack stands at 28 inches tall, while Sally is a bit shorter at 21 inches. Set them up on your sofa or against the window sill for all to see.

Buy them: Disney Shop (Jack and Sally)

5. Halloween Zombie Groundbreaker; $22

Joyin/Amazon

This spooktacular zombie lawn decoration is sure to scare all of your friends, family, and neighbors alike. Made with a combination of latex, plastic, and fabric, this durable Halloween prop is sure to last for years to come.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Hanging Ghost Decoration; $14

Moon Boat/Amazon

Drape this handmade, 14-foot-long hanging ghost decoration over your porch, doorway, or window. You can also hang it outdoors over a tree or a (very tall) bush. And, since it comes pre-assembled, you won’t have to waste time constructing it yourself.

Buy it: Amazon

7. Two-Piece Hanging Ghost Set; $17

GeeFuun/Amazon

This pair of ghosts adds a whimsical touch to any home. While they’re not “scary,” per se, they certainly are adorable. Display them in your front yard, on your porch, on a lamppost, or a tree. To hang, simply tie the ribbons and bend the wires, arms, and tails.

Buy it: Amazon

8. Pumpkin String Lights; $19

Eurus Home/Amazon

Not only are these solar-powered, 33-foot-long LED string lights good for the environment, they’re also incredibly easy to install (no long, tangly power cable chords necessary). Since they’re waterproof, you can use them both indoors and outdoors. Choose from eight different light settings, including twinkling, flashing, fading, and more.

Buy it: Amazon

9. Inflatable Ghost; $22

Joiedomi/Amazon

This adorable inflatable ghost (which dons a cute-as-can-be wizard hat!) features built-in LED lights and sandbags to help it stay sturdy. It also comes complete with a plug, extended cords, ground stakes, and fastened ropes. Simply plug it in and watch it magically inflate within just a few minutes.

Buy it: Amazon

10. Graveyard Tombstones; $17

meiguisha/Amazon

Turn your front lawn into a graveyard with this six-piece set. Each tombstone is made with foam and designed to add a touch of spookiness to your space. To install, insert one holder into the bottom of the tombstone, and one into the soil. You can use these indoors, as well.

Buy it: Amazon

11. 10-Piece Skeleton Set; $24

Fun Little Toys/Amazon

This skeleton set includes a skull, hands and arms, and legs and feet—plus five stakes to hold everything in place. Each “bone” and “joint” is flexible, allowing you to prop the skeleton into different frighteningly fun poses. Simply place the stakes into the bone socket and turn clockwise.

Buy it: Amazon

12. Outdoor Spider Web; $18

amenon/Amazon

This giant, ultra-stretchy spider web spans a whopping 23 feet. It also includes a 30-inch black spider, 20 pieces of fake spiders, one hook, and one nail. Its thick polyester rope—combined with the sturdy stakes—allows the spider web to stay in place all season long. Place the hook on a wall or tree, and expand the web using the stakes.

Buy it: Amazon

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11 Secrets of Astronauts

Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain
Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain

In the 60 or so years that the job has existed, astronauts have captured the public's imagination. And while many people might think they have some idea of what being an astronaut is like, thanks to the glut of portrayals in movies, real astronauts will tell you that working for NASA is much different from what you see on the screen. In between exciting tasks like spacewalks, they have to worry about less glamorous aspects of the job—like finding lost items that floated away and using the toilet in microgravity.

Mental Floss spoke with two former NASA astronauts about the realities of preparing for and experiencing life in space. Read on to learn about the most annoying parts of the job, the ways they have fun, and their honest opinions about astronaut food.

1. Astronauts come from a range of different fields.

There’s no one direct path to becoming an astronaut. If someone knows they want to be an astronaut from a young age, they need to build credentials in a specific field before they can get the attention of NASA. "They're looking for people who are qualified, meaning that they're high-achieving military people or people from civilian life, generally with an advanced degree," Mike Massimino, a former NASA astronaut and professor of mechanical engineering at Columbia University, tells Mental Floss.

To be considered for NASA’s astronaut program, candidates must have U.S. citizenship, hold a master's degree in a STEM field, and have at least two years of related post-grad professional experience or at least 1000 hours of pilot-in-command time on jet aircraft. Two years toward a doctoral program in STEM, a completed doctor of medicine or doctor of osteopathic medicine degree, or completion of a nationally recognized test pilot school program are also accepted in place of a master's degree. Because space flight crews require diverse skill sets, the criteria doesn’t get more specific than that.

"I was a Ph.D. research engineer professor when I was picked," Massimino says. "I've flown in space with engineers, with test pilots, helicopter pilots for the military. I've also flown in space with a geologist, I've flown in space with an oceanographer, and I've flown in space with a veterinarian. So it's really varied. There's not just one route."

2. Astronaut training involves everything from class work to military survival exercises.

NASA astronaut Garrett Reisman on a spacewalk in May 2010.NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center, Flickr // CC BY-NC 2.0

Candidates accepted into the astronaut program must complete years of training before they're ready for spaceflight. A lot of that training takes place in the classroom and involves learning about different space vehicles and systems. Astronauts also undergo physical training in the real world. According to Garrett Reisman, former NASA astronaut and the director of space operations at SpaceX's headquarters in Hawthorne, California, one of the most intense courses has nothing to do with preparing for life in space.

"We do the same SERE [survive, evade, resist, escape] training that military aviators go through," he tells Mental Floss. "The idea is that if you fell out of an aircraft over enemy terrain, you got to know how to survive without help. You have to learn to live off the land, what plants you can eat, how to make a shelter and all those things."

The T-38 jets astronauts fly as part of their training have ejectable seats, so landing somewhere unfamiliar is a possibility. But astronauts only fly over the continental U.S., so they likely won't ever need to use the full extent of their SERE training. "What are the odds that you parachute down and there’s not a Starbucks right there?" Reisman jokes. "All you need to do is give me a Starbucks gift card and I’ll be fine."

3. Exercise is a vital part of the job.

Exercising is more than a way to pass time in space: It’s essential to an astronaut’s health. The human body isn’t used to moving around without the force of gravity, and for this reason, all astronauts must make resistance exercises part of their daily routine.

"You do have to spend two hours every day exercising," Reisman says. "If you're up there for a long period of time, you can lose a lot of your bone and your muscle mass if you do nothing, so the way we get around that is by doing intense resistance exercise."

Astronauts can lose up to 20 percent of their muscle mass on an 11-day space flight due to the lack of gravity [PDF]. But zero gravity also makes free weights useless, so instead, astronauts maintain their strength by using a device outfitted with two small canisters that create a vacuum they can pull against with a long bar. A bike and treadmill (with a harness) are also available on the International Space Station. Strength is required to perform certain emergency procedures when the ship re-enters Earth's gravitational field, so staying fit in space is vital.

4. Astronauts do most of their work on Earth.

Astronaut Mike Massimino practices repairing a portion of the Hubble Space Telescope while training at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas.NASA Hubble Space Telescope, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

In order to become one of the few people to travel to space, astronauts must be willing to do a lot of work at home. "A NASA astronaut’s job is mainly spending your time on Earth," Massimino says. "You're going to spend the vast majority of your time on the ground, either training or working on technical issues or helping other people fly." Throughout his nearly two decades with NASA, Massimino spent less than a month total in space. Reisman was with NASA for 12 years and spent a cumulative 107 days of his career in space.

5. Astronauts don't make as much money as you think.

One of the biggest misconceptions astronauts hear about their work relates to their salary. While they are paid decently, astronauts don’t collect the massive paychecks some people might assume comes with such a high-profile job. "We don't make a heck of a lot of money," Massimino says. "We make a standard government salary."

Astronauts are paid according to the federal government's General Schedule pay scale. Most federal jobs are assigned a General Schedule (GS) grade that determines their starting salary, and the pay increases as they gain experience. Astronauts either qualify for grades GS 13 or 14 (the highest grade is GS 15) and make between $104,898 and $161,141 per year. For comparison, Fish and Wildlife administrators are paid similarly at the right experience level.

6. Astronauts lose things (but not for long).

Even in a place as tight as a space station, astronauts still manage to misplace their belongings. Thanks to the lack of gravity, anything they let go of immediately drifts away, which can cause problems when they’re not paying attention. Massimino recalls one incident that happened to his crewmate Mike Good: "He had his grandfather’s watch with him, and he comes up to me and goes, 'Mass, I can’t find the watch.' We’re looking all over the place and I stop after a minute and go, 'Mike, it’s inside here somewhere.'"

They eventually found it trapped inside the airlock. The air filter is another common place where lost items end up: Without gravity interfering, the air flow will carry any floating objects there. "One thing we would say is, 'If you can’t find something, just wait,'" Massimino says. "You'd wake up in the morning and look at the filter and see like aspirin and a piece of Velcro or something, because everything eventually would get there."

7. Astronaut opinions on the food in space are mixed.

Despite its reputation, space food has some fans in the astronaut community. "Astronaut food is great," Massimino says. "We had ravioli, lasagna, shrimp cocktail, fajitas. It was fantastic."

Reisman holds a much different opinion of the meals he ate in space. "It’s terrible. You don’t go to the space station for the food," he says. While he didn’t love the American and Russian provisions that made up most of his diet in space, he did have nice things to say about food from other agencies. "The Japanese and the Europeans, when their astronauts would fly, they had special food that was provided by their space agencies. The Japanese sent up yakitori and miso soup and that was delicious. And the Europeans had pâté. That was much better."

8. Astronauts find time to have fun.

NASA astronaut Mike Massimino smiles during some extravehicular activity (EVA).NASA Hubble Space Telescope, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

Between work, meals, and exercise, astronauts don’t have a ton of free time in space. Duties like maintenance, installing equipment, and conducting experiments take up the majority of their day. Sneaking in recreation usually means staying up past their scheduled bedtime, which Reisman confirms most astronauts do. One of his favorite activities to do aboard the International Space Station was taking pictures of Earth. "You could take photographs of places on Earth that are special to you. I got a picture of my hometown, which is pretty cool. As far as I know, no human ever photographed that particular town from space before."

9. Astronauts think movies set unrealistic standards.

The science isn’t the only thing that’s unrealistic about Hollywood’s portrayal of space travel. "I think the biggest misconception is that we're all tall and good-looking," Reisman says. When working as a technical advisor for 2019's Ad Astra, he jokingly brought up this gripe with the movie’s star Brad Pitt. "I said, 'I’m kind of pissed off at you. Think about who they cast to be astronauts in all these movies and TV shows. Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney, Brad Pitt. People meet me and they’re disappointed.'"

Reisman doesn't hold this against the actors, however. Pitt reminded him that the stars portraying astronauts on screen have plenty to be envious of themselves. "Brad said: 'Well, Garrett, I can't actually fly a spaceship. The only talent I have is being able to stand in a certain spot and read something that someone else wrote. I got nothing else.'"

10. Going to the bathroom in space is an ordeal.

If you’ve ever wondered how astronauts poop in space, the answer is: with great difficulty. "Taking a dump was not easy," Reisman confirms. Without the help of gravity, using a toilet in space becomes a complicated operation. Astronauts must strap their feet down to keep from floating away and create a perfect seal between the toilet seat and their butt cheeks. The toilet itself uses a vacuum hose to suction up the waste. The process is so complex that using a space toilet is part of an astronaut’s training. It's not unusual for a bathroom break that normally takes a few minutes on Earth to last half an hour in space.

11. In such a competitive field, astronauts need to be persistent.

NASA's astronaut training program is extremely competitive. The agency selected just 12 people out of a pool of 18,353 candidates in 2017, which comes out to an acceptance rate of 0.065 percent. Massimino had to apply four times before he made it into the program.

"I was rejected outright twice while I was in grad school. The third time I got an interview and failed the eye exam, so was medically disqualified." NASA considers candidates with less than 20/20 vision today as long as it's correctable, but that wasn't the case when Massimino was applying. "I went through some vision training with an optometrist, and I was able to teach my eyes to see a little better. I was able to apply a fourth time, and I was picked on my fourth try."

According to Massimino, that level of commitment to his goal ended up being relevant to the job itself. "The job is a lot of late-night simulations, you have to pass exams, you have to work with your teammates. And unless you have a real interest in it, it's going to be tough."