9 Saturday Night Live Movies That Were Never Made

Saturday Night Live via YouTube
Saturday Night Live via YouTube

In the pantheon of regular Saturday Night Live sketches-turned-feature films, there are good ideas (Wayne’s World), bad ideas (It’s Pat), and batted-about ideas that won't make it to the silver screen for one reason or another. Here are nine proposed SNL movies that you'll probably never get to see.

1. HANS & FRANZ: THE GIRLY MAN DILEMMA (1993)

The idea for a Hans and Franz movie began—and ended—with Arnold Schwarzenegger, who suggested the idea to Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey when he guest starred in a segment. In 2012, Nealon talked about the folded project with the Tampa Bay Times, admitting that: “Yes, we wrote a musical! Hans & Franz: The Girly Man Dilemma. I wrote it with Conan O'Brien, Robert Smigel, and Dana Carvey. Arnold Schwarzenegger was co-producing with us, and he was going to star in it. We got it written, sold it to Sony. But I think Arnold got cold feet.”

In a 2010 interview with The A.V. Club, Smigel said that the problem really came down to the box office bomb that was Last Action Hero, saying “That movie came out and it was a failure and I was told by his agent that Arnold decided [adopts Schwarzenegger voice], ‘I will never be myself in a movie again! It can’t be done, this is the proof. I can’t play myself in a movie, automatic failure.’”

2. BILL SWERSKI’S SUPERFANS (1995)

In that same interview with The A.V. Club, Smigel noted that “I’m guilty of writing probably as many SNL movies as anybody, but mine have never been made.” He’s not kidding. Among those stalled features is Da Movie version of Da Bears sketch, a.k.a. Bill Swerski’s Superfans, one of SNL’s longest-running sketches, which premiered on January 12, 1991 (with Joe Mantegna as the titular Swerski) and was later featured in a State Farm commercial. 

When the opportunity arose to turn the sketch into a film, Smigel and Bob Odenkirk (who had created the original sketch together) jumped at the opportunity, with Smigel leaving his job as Conan’s head writer to work on the script. But a bad year for SNL on the small screen spelled trouble for anyone involved with the show. “There was an awful article written in New York Magazine about the show and the network wanted to lay down the law,” recalled Smigel, which meant “no SNL movies.” But the script was not a total loss; in 2010, Smigel, Odenkirk, Mantegna, George Wendt, Mike Ditka and Richard Roeper (as narrator) staged a live reading of the script at Chicago’s Just for Laughs festival. 

3. COFFEE TALK (1995)

That same New York Magazine article curtailed plans for a feature version of Mike Myers’s Coffee Talk, a popular sketch in which Myers starred as Jewish talk show host Linda Richman (a character he based on his now-former mother-in-law). The recent box office failures of other SNL movies at the time—including It’s Pat and Stuart Saves His Family—didn’t help matters either.

4. SPROCKETS (2000)

Dieter is yet another Mike Myers talk show host character—this one an unflappable German guy—whose leap to the big screen was aborted. But not due to lack of interest on the studio’s part. On June 5, 2000, Universal filed suit against Myers, claiming that he abandoned the project because “the script—which he himself co-wrote and over which he had complete and unfettered control—is no longer acceptable to him.” Myers’s response, in a countersuit, was that “The question has always been can Sprockets move beyond a sketch into a full-length feature. Despite my greatest efforts, I have yet to achieve that. I cannot in good conscience accept $20 million and cheat moviegoers ... with an unacceptable script.”

5. THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO (2005)

A feature-length version of Robert Smigel and J.J. Sedelmaier’s animated TV Funhouse sketch has been rumored for years. And in 2005, Stephen Colbert—who voiced Ace, one half of the possibly gay superhero team (Steve Carell played Gary)—even told Ain’t It Cool News that “the movie is a go.” More than 10 years later, the closest the script has gotten to Hollywood is a live-action version of the sketch in May of 2011, when Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon played the flesh-and-blood versions of Ace and Gary.

6. KEY PARTY (2005)

Host Seth Meyers speaks onstage during the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 7, 2018
Paul Drinkwater, NBCUniversal via Getty Images

While we cannot declare Seth Meyers’s script for Key Party officially dead, the fact that little has been spoken about the project—based on a one-off sketch that aired in December 2004—except the announcement that it was being made into a movie in the first place certainly doesn't bode well for its production prospects. Especially since that was in 2005 and there’s not even an IMDb listing for the flick. And with Meyers being a lot more hectic now that he's in the Late Night chair, who knows when he’ll have time to revisit the story of a couple looking to spice up their sex life.

7. PEEPERS: A CANTICLE (2012)

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what Chris Kattan has been up to since leaving SNL in 2003, you’re not alone. Los Angeles-based writer Justin Becker made a game out of the answer when he wrote a fake script in which he transformed Mr. Peepers, Kattan’s apple-eating, suspender-wearing monkey-man, into the sort of mythical creature Peter Sellers played in Being There. Becker attributed the script to Kattan himself (as C.L. Kattan) then began dropping copies of it around California.

“I traveled all across the west coast planting these books like a demented Johnny Appleseed,” Becker told San Francisco Weekly. “Chris Kattan’s Wikipedia page says that 1000 books were put in stores, but I can neither confirm or deny that number.” Though this script was a hoax from the get-go, one can only imagine that it’s got the legs to out-earn the measly $21 million Coneheads made in theaters.

8. STEFON (2013)

Fans of Stefon got prematurely excited in 2013 when Bill Hader told Larry King about the idea of turning his New York City know-it-all club kid into a leading man. But then, in almost the same breath, he stated that it would probably never happen. “We talked a little bit about an idea for a movie, and then we were kind of like, 'I don't think it'll work,’” Hader said. “We did have one funny scene that was making John and I laugh, which was Stefon coming out to his family. His parents are, like, blue-collar people from the Bronx.”

9. THE SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE MOVIE (1990)

Given that each episode of Saturday Night Live is essentially a feature-length series of sketches, The Saturday Night Live Movie seems a bit redundant. But in 1990, a script with that very title was written, with some of the show’s strongest writing talents—including Conan O’Brien, Robert Smigel, and Greg Daniels—attached as participants. But someone must have wised up to the fact that the cinematic medium offered nothing different for the concept, as few people even knew of the script’s existence until 2010.

Additional Sources: The B.S. Report (Grantland) interview with Robert Smigel
Splitsider

An earlier version of this article ran in 2013.

Turn Your LEGO Bricks Into a Drone With the Flybrix Drone Kit

Flyxbrix/FatBrain
Flyxbrix/FatBrain

Now more than ever, it’s important to have a good hobby. Of course, a lot of people—maybe even you—have been obsessed with learning TikTok dances and baking sourdough bread for the last few months, but those hobbies can wear out their welcome pretty fast. So if you or someone you love is looking for something that’s a little more intellectually stimulating, you need to check out the Flybrix LEGO drone kit from Fat Brain Toys.

What is a Flybrix LEGO Drone Kit?

The Flybrix drone kit lets you build your own drones out of LEGO bricks and fly them around your house using your smartphone as a remote control (via Bluetooth). The kit itself comes with absolutely everything you need to start flying almost immediately, including a bag of 56-plus LEGO bricks, a LEGO figure pilot, eight quick-connect motors, eight propellers, a propeller wrench, a pre-programmed Flybrix flight board PCB, a USB data cord, a LiPo battery, and a USB LiPo battery charger. All you’ll have to do is download the Flybrix Configuration Software, the Bluetooth Flight Control App, and access online instructions and tutorials.

Experiment with your own designs.

The Flybrix LEGO drone kit is specifically designed to promote exploration and experimentation. All the components are tough and can totally withstand a few crash landings, so you can build and rebuild your own drones until you come up with the perfect design. Then you can do it all again. Try different motor arrangements, add your own LEGO bricks, experiment with different shapes—this kit is a wannabe engineer’s dream.

For the more advanced STEM learners out there, Flybrix lets you experiment with coding and block-based coding. It uses an arduino-based hackable circuit board, and the Flybrix app has advanced features that let you try your hand at software design.

Who is the Flybrix LEGO Drone Kit for?

Flybrix is a really fun way to introduce a number of core STEM concepts, which makes it ideal for kids—and technically, that’s who it was designed for. But because engineering and coding can get a little complicated, the recommended age for independent experimentation is 13 and up. However, kids younger than 13 can certainly work on Flybrix drones with the help of their parents. In fact, it actually makes a fantastic family hobby.

Ready to start building your own LEGO drones? Click here to order your Flybrix kit today for $198.

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David Lynch Is Sharing How He's Keeping Busy at Home in New YouTube Series

Pascal Le Segretain, Getty Images
Pascal Le Segretain, Getty Images

David Lynch, the director of some of the most surreal movies from recent decades, enjoys a relaxing home improvement project as much as the rest of us. As Pitchfork reports, Lynch has launched a new video series on YouTube sharing the various ways he's staying busy at home.

The series, titled "What Is David Working on Today?", debuted with its first installment on Tuesday, May 28. In it, the filmmaker tells viewers he's replacing the drain in his sink and varnishing a wooden stand. In addition to providing a peek into his home life, Lynch also drops some thought-provoking tidbits, like "water is weird."

Fixing the furniture in his home isn't the only thing Lynch has been up to during the COVID-19 pandemic. He also wrote, directed, and animated a 10-minute short titled Pożar, and since early May, he has been uploading daily weather reports. If life in quarantine doesn't already feel like a David Lynch film, diving into the director's YouTube channel may change that.

This isn't Lynch's first time creating uncharacteristically ordinary content. Even after gaining success in the industry, he directed commercials for everything from pasta to pregnancy tests.

[h/t Pitchfork]