15 Dissertation Titles Translated Into Clickbait Headlines

We’ve all become savvy to the tropes and tricks of clickbait headlines, but that doesn’t stop us from clicking on them. As it turns out, the conventions of clickbait can be applied to even the most highbrow topics. Over on Tumblr, ClickBaitPHD converts otherwise mundane dissertation topics into eye-catching headlines you can share with your Facebook friends. Here are some examples, with links to the actual dissertations where available.

1. H-Bomb designer told us to look for signals from distant galaxies. Why we can’t see them is out of this world.

Actual title: The population of submillimeter galaxies and its impact on the detection of the Sunyaev-Zel’dovich Effect

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2. These squirrels were forced to migrate south because of the Ice Age. What happened next WILL SHOCK YOU.

Actual title: Genetic structure and phylogeography of the fox squirrel, Sciurus niger, as inferred from a mitochondrial gene.

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3. What happens when you put farmers on the internet? Justice.

Actual title: The global justice movement and struggles over knowledge (link)

Book title: Global Justice and the Politics of Information: The struggle over knowledge

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4. "I got aggregate structural sample!" Take this quiz to find out YOUR sample-based hip-hop type!

Actual title: A Typology of Sampling in Hip-Hop (link)

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5. Think college students are spending too much time on facebook? At p. 57 you’ll ‘like’ what’s going on, by p. 128 you’ll LOVE it.

Actual title: First Year Students in a Foreign Fabric:  A Triangulation Study on Facebook as a Method of Coping/Adjustment

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6. Would Your Diet Help Conquer Europe? These 100-year-old secrets to healthy eating will turn your stomach!

Actual title: The Politics of the Table: Nutrition and the Telescopic Body in Saxon Germany, 1890-1935

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7. You won’t believe what is contributing to the spread of HIV! The shocking truth that politicians don’t want YOU to know!

Actual Title: A Political Epidemiology of HIV/AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa.

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8. Think You Know How Armies Work? Listen to This Guy. At p. 57 He’ll Make You Think. At p. 279 He’ll Blow Your Mind.

Actual title: Desertion, Control and Collective Action in Civil Wars

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9. These women needed to get their message across. How they did amazed me. (Hint: It may have involved quilts).

Actual title: Female Fabrications: An Examination of the Public and Private Aspects of Nüshu

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10. You NEED to See This Hot Model (NSFW) of Ethnic Politics and Foreign Policy.

Actual title: Supporting secession or maintaining boundaries: The international consequences of ethnic politics. (link)

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11. All of your brain cells have the same DNA, right? Here are 10 reasons why you’re so wrong.

Actual title: Chromosomal aneuploidy in the developing mammalian cortex 

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12. Robyn may be dancing on her own, but the rest of Sweden? Think again.

Actual title: The Musical Landscape: Music, Place and the Regionalization of Cultural Policy

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13. Ever wonder when to start burning stuff down to get what you want? These 11 Indonesian farmers’ tactics will totally blow your mind!

Actual title: Did I Say This Land Is Your Land? Patterns of Contention in Indonesian Environmental Disputes

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14. They were just taking a test, but how these students were assessed may have really f*cked them up (p < 0.1)

Actual title: Performance Goal Practices: Characteristics of Teacher Usage and Implications for Social Relationships in Elementary School Classrooms (link)

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15. Meet the Bad-ass Bards who Changed the Way You Experience the Written Word.

Actual title: Anthologizing Modernism: New Verse Anthologies, 1913-53 (link)

See more at ClickBaitPHD.