10 Jokes from Around the World

by Laura Turner Garrison

1. Kenya

The Joke: Your family is so stupid, you give your chickens hot water so they can lay boiled eggs.

Why It's Funny: Mchongoano is a type of joke found in Sheng, a language that originated in Nairobi. Mchongoano is used in dissing battles, comparable to “your mom” slams in the United States.

2. Egypt

The Joke: Q: How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

A: You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

Why It's Funny: Well, it’s not, really, but some sources identify it as one of the oldest jokes in the world.

3. Uruguay 

The Joke: A girl asks an Argentine man for a light. He pats his trousers, chest, and back pockets.

“Sorry,” he says. “I don’t have one, but wow, do I have a great body or what?

Why It's Funny: Argentine men have a reputation for excessive vanity among their fellow South Americans. No one enjoys poking fun at them quite like the neighboring Uruguayans.

4. Bulgaria 

The Joke: A Gabrovonian has to mend his door, so he sends his son to the neighbor’s to borrow a hatchet. The child returns empty-handed; the neighbor had lied about not having a hatchet.

“Don’t bother about that miser,” says the father indignantly. “Bring our hatchet up from the cellar.”

Why It's Funny: The city of Gabrovo is a self-declared international comedy capital where the residents are notoriously thrifty.

5. Germany

The Joke: Q: How do you turn a Trabant into a sports car?

A: Put sneakers in the glove compartment!

Why It's Funny: The Trabant was the best-selling car in the former East Germany. The ride is a punchline for its cheapness, due in no small part to its grossly underpowered engine and plastic body.

6. Lebanon 

The Joke: Rural Minister: My son, arak is a person’s worst enemy.

The Drunk: Father, you have always preached that we should love our enemy.

Rural Minister: This is very true, my son, but I have never said you should swallow your enemy.

Why It's Funny: Arak is the Lebanese national liquor, a 100-proof spirit distilled from grapes and green aniseeds. Drink enough of it and this joke’s hilarious.

7. China

The Joke: A chess player who thought highly of his own skill once lost three games in a row. The next day, a friend asked him how the games had turned out.

“I didn’t win the first game,” the chess player replied, “and my opponent didn’t lose the second. As to the third game, I asked him to agree to a draw, but he wouldn’t.”

Why It's Funny: As you might guess, Chinese jokes are fairly straightforward, avoid political topics, and steer clear of depressing subject matter.

8. Burma

The Joke: A Burmese man visits a dentist in India.

The dentist asks him: “Don’t you have dentists in Burma?”

“Yes, we do,” the man replies, “but we’re not allowed to open our mouths.”

Why It's Funny: Until its dissolution in 2011, the military junta that ruled Burma effectively outlawed free speech. Burmese comedian Zarganar spent three years in jail for telling jokes like this one.

9. Sri Lanka

The Joke: A teacher has told her students to write an essay on a cricket match. All are busy writing except Udurawana.

He wrote: “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!!!”

Why It's Funny: Sri Lankan jokes often feature a dim-witted fellow named Udurawana (no relation to the village of the same name).

10. Australia

The Joke: Q: Why do Australians pee in the bushes at parties?

A: Because there’s always someone chundering in the toilet.

Why It's Funny: Australians so proudly joke about their drinking habits that an entire genre of humor has developed around “chunder”—Aussie slang for vomit.

All photos courtesy of iStock.

14 Retro Gifts for Millennials

Ravi Palwe, Unsplash
Ravi Palwe, Unsplash

Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996, which means the pop culture they grew up with is officially retro. No matter what generation you belong to, consider these gifts when shopping for the Millennials in your life this holiday season.

1. Reptar Funko Pop!; $29

Amazon

This vinyl Reptar figurine from Funko is as cool as anything you’d find in the rugrats’ toy box. The monster dinosaur has been redesigned in classic Pop! style, making it a perfect desk or shelf accessory for the grown-up Nickelodeon fan. It also glows in the dark, which should appeal to anyone’s inner child.

Buy it: Amazon

2. Dragon Ball Z Slippers; $20

Hot Topic

You don’t need to change out of your pajamas to feel like a Super Saiyan. These slippers are emblazoned with the same kanji Goku wears on his gi in Dragon Ball Z: one for training under King Kai and one for training with Master Roshi. And with a soft sherpa lining, the footwear feels as good as it looks.

Buy it: Hot Topic

3. The Pokémon Cookbook; $15

Hop Topic

What do you eat after a long day of training and catching Pokémon? Any dish in The Pokémon Cookbook is a great option. This book features more than 35 recipes inspired by creatures from the Pokémon franchise, including Poké Ball sushi rolls and mashed Meowth potatoes.

Buy it: Hot Topic

4. Lisa Frank Activity Book; $5

Urban Outfitters

Millennials will never be too old for Lisa Frank, especially when the artist’s playful designs come in a relaxing activity book. Watercolor brings the rainbow characters in this collection to life. Just gather some painting supplies and put on a podcast for a relaxing, nostalgia-fueled afternoon.

Buy it: Urban Outfitters

5. Shoebox Tape Recorder with USB; $28

Amazon

The days of recording mix tapes don’t have to be over. This device looks and functions just like tape recorders from the pre-smartphone era. And with a USB port as well as a line-in jack and built-in mic, users can easily import their digital music collection onto retro cassette tapes.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Days of the Week Scrunchie Set; $12

Urban Outfitters

Millennials can be upset that a trend from their youth is old enough to be cool again, or they can embrace it. This scrunchie set is for anyone happy to see the return of the hair accessory. The soft knit ponytail holders come in a set of five—one for each day of the school (or work) week.

Buy it: Urban Outfitters

7. D&D Graphic T-shirt; $38-$48

80s Tees

The perfect gift for the Dungeon Master in your life, this graphic tee is modeled after the cover of the classic Dungeons & Dragons rule book. It’s available in sizes small through 3XL.

Buy it: 80s Tees

8. Chuck E. Cheese T-shirt; $36-$58

80s Tees

Few Millennials survived childhood without experiencing at least one birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. This retro T-shirt sports the brand’s original name: Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre. It may be the next-best gift for a Chuck E. Cheese fan behind a decommissioned animatronic.

Buy it: 80s Tees

9. The Nightmare Before Christmas Picnic Blanket Bag; $40

Shop Disney

Fans of Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas will recognize the iconic scene on the front of this messenger bag. Unfold it and the bag becomes a blanket fit for a moonlit picnic among the pumpkins. The bottom side is waterproof and the top layer is made of soft fleece.

Buy it: Shop Disney

10. Toy Story Alien Socks; $15

Shop Disney

You don’t need to be skilled at the claw machine to take home a pair of these socks. Decorated with the aliens from Toy Story, they’re made from soft-knit fabric and are big enough to fit adult feet.

Buy it: Shop Disney

11. Goosebumps Board Game; $24

Amazon

Fans that read every book in R.L. Stine’s series growing up can now play the Goosebumps board game. In this game, based on the Goosebumps movie, players take on the role of their favorite monster from the series and race to the typewriter at the end of the trail of manuscripts.

Buy it: Amazon

12. Tamagotchi Mini; $19

Amazon

If you know someone who killed their Tamagotchi in the '90s, give them another chance to show off their digital pet-care skills. This Tamagotchi is a smaller, simplified version of the original game. It doubles as a keychain, so owners have no excuse to forget to feed their pet.

Buy it: Amazon

13. SNES Classic; $275

Amazon

The SNES Classic is much easier to find now than when it first came out, and it's still just as entertaining for retro video game fans. This mini console comes preloaded with 21 Nintendo games, including Super Mario Kart and Street Fighter II.

Buy it: Amazon

14. Planters Cheez Balls; $24

Amazon

Planters revived its Cheez Balls in 2018 after pulling them from shelves nearly a decade earlier. To Millennials unaware of that fact, this gift could be their dream come true. The throwback snack even comes in the classic canister fans remember.

Buy it: Amazon

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Someone Created an Amazing LEGO Portrait of Fleabag's "Hot Priest" Andrew Scott

Andrew Scott as the "Hot Priest" in Fleabag.
Andrew Scott as the "Hot Priest" in Fleabag.
Amazon Studios

It’s been almost a year and a half since fans first met the “Hot Priest”—a role created specifically for actor Andrew Scott—in season 2 of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s award-winning series Fleabag, and the character is still eliciting strong feelings and inspiring tributes of all kinds.

The latest creative tribute to the G&T-guzzling man of the cloth is a portrait assembled entirely from LEGO bricks—5340 of them, to be exact. It was made by Andy Bauch, a Los Angeles-based LEGO artist who has re-created everything from Mondrian paintings to self-portraits of Chuck Close. For this pop culture masterpiece, Bauch worked off a television still that shows Scott dressed in clerical black and illuminated by sunlight filtering through a church window.

Bauch used 10 shades of blue, green, and black to capture the nameless priest in all his godly glory. According to the video above, more than half of the 38-inch-by-28.5-inch artwork consists of square black bricks with four LEGO studs each. Overall, it took nearly 10,000 studs to complete the image. What we don’t know is how long it took to complete, though the artist did have two assistants to help him.

The portrait isn’t currently for sale, but anyone with a sizable LEGO collection and a fondness for tragicomic clergymen (or more specifically, for Andrew Scott portraying one) is welcome to try their hand at fashioning some Hot Priest wall art of their own. And if that project warrants re-watching Fleabag, so be it.