50 Amazing Puns From Past Pun Competitions

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youtube

There are only a few pun competitions in the world, but they draw some serious talent. Here is a sampling of great puns thrown around at some past events. 

ON COUNTRIES // 1995 Pun-Off World Championship 

1. I feel myself fading away I feel like I’m going into a France. 

2. And where all the fish go on vacation: Finland.

3. I’m getting a little Chile up here.

4. Going back and forth like this, we’re always Russian. 

5. There was this woman named Tina who was killed in this horrible accident when one of the golden arches at a McDonald’s fell on her and it was an arch-on-Tina (Argentina).

ON STATES // Jerzy Gwiazdowski, 2012 Pun-Off

6. Baby, you’ve got me in a state, and I fear that it’s contiguous. 

7. I’m a changed man. I’m a new Jerzy (New Jersey) with a new outlook and Iowa lot to you. Oh, I owe (Ohio).

8. Let’s get on a boat and row away from our problems. That’s right, for you, I will pick up an oar again (Oregon).

9. When we’re rowing south, the air is in our faces, but when we’re rowing north, the Arizona backs. 

10. Everything is so beautiful, I can stand on my boat and think this is just what Noah stood on the Arkansas.  

ON SEASONINGS // Ben Ziek, 2013 Pun-Off 

11. All right so this is not how I Oregano-ly planned it, but after Tara, my first missus dashed out on me, I came home to find tarragon. 

12. I’ll never have a garlic that again. 

13. Now she was not what I savory pretty but she has a personality that chives with mine. 

14. She said “well, are you cumin?” And I said, “yeah, yeah. Just give me a mint.” She said “all right then curry up.” 

15. But then Megan wanted to get everything down on pepper. I just could not bayleaf it. So I left. Anise is when I found out what a nutmeg was. She salted me in the parking lot. 

ON HIGH SCHOOL // 2014 Great Durham Pun Championship 

16. Are you getting fresh-man?

17. Why don’t you just go homeroom? 

18. Biology-whiz that was a good one. 

19. I chem do this all day. 

20. Do you prom-ise? 

ON FARMING AND RANCHING  // 2012 Pun-Off World Championship

21. When you start running out of puns, you’re pretty much on the thresher-hold of losing.

22. The yolks on you.

23. That’s a load of crop. 

24. I have to be honest, I’m not this funny. I have a lot of plants in the audience. 

25. I’m sorry, I don’t like the new stuff like the McShakes. I like the Old McDonald’s.

ON ANIMAL PARTS  // 2008 Pun-Off World Championship

26. I’m fin with that.

27. I hope I keep getting feather in the competition. 

28. I think you’re just winging it at this point.

29. Fangs a lot. 

30. I asked a horse if he had a dollar. He said “no, but I have fore quarters.”

ON FAST FOOD // 2015 Pun-Off Punslingers Round 1 

31. Got to keep your eyes on the fries. 

32. My wife’s here, she’s a real sweet tea. 

ON COUNTRY MUSIC // 2015 Pun-Off Punslingers Round 4 

33. That was funny, I just watched the wind and it bluegrass.

34. I have a buddy who works at a Las Vegas wedding chapel. That’s right, I got friends in elope places. 

35. The pilot’s not responding. Kenny Roger? 

ON MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE // 2012 Durham Pun Championship

36. I don’t even really think I can commit to this category. 

37. I just not even engaged to this.

38. I’m running for my wife. 

39. Well you do appear very well groomed. 

40. Let’s act like adulterers here.

ON UNPRESIDENTED MISBEHAVIOR // Joe Sabia, 2007 Pun-Off World Championships

41. George was Washingtons of clothes with saliva, he was spitting. 

42. Warren was having a Harding time 'cause James was Polking him crazy. 

43. Richard was Nixon my rules even more, apparently him and Gerald decided they could afFord a trip with William to Mount McKinley for no legitimate reason and spent the rest of the night partying with Grover out in Cleveland. 

44. Zachary didn’t bring my suit to the Taylor like I asked him to. 

45. George and George were outside in the shrubs; that’s when I knew I would have to push because a George in my white house are better than two in a Bush.

ON GRAMMAR // Bertand Piboin, 2012 Pun-Off 

46. I do object to being subject to odd language rules. 

ON THE BIBLE // Alex Petri, 2013 Pun-Off

47. Look, if you don’t like it, the exodus over there. 

48. No more nouns, I’m proverbs. 

49. I’m gonna make like John the Baptist and skip ahead, because I think I’m doing a good job. That psalms it up. 

50. Joel not find a most distinguished lady like me just over here or Obadiah. 

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For more puns, check out this punny episode of The Misadventures of Flapjack:

The 10 Best Air Fryers on Amazon

Cosori/Amazon
Cosori/Amazon

When it comes to making food that’s delicious, quick, and easy, you can’t go wrong with an air fryer. They require only a fraction of the oil that traditional fryers do, so you get that same delicious, crispy texture of the fried foods you love while avoiding the extra calories and fat you don’t.

But with so many air fryers out there, it can be tough to choose the one that’ll work best for you. To make your life easier—and get you closer to that tasty piece of fried chicken—we’ve put together a list of some of Amazon’s top-rated air frying gadgets. Each of the products below has at least a 4.5-star rating and over 1200 user reviews, so you can stop dreaming about the perfect dinner and start eating it instead.

1. Ultrean Air Fryer; $76

Ultrean/Amazon

Around 84 percent of reviewers awarded the Ultrean Air Fryer five stars on Amazon, making it one of the most popular models on the site. This 4.2-quart oven doesn't just fry, either—it also grills, roasts, and bakes via its innovative rapid air technology heating system. It's available in four different colors (red, light blue, black, and white), making it the perfect accent piece for any kitchen.

Buy it: Amazon

2. Cosori Air Fryer; $120

Cosori/Amazon

This highly celebrated air fryer from Cosori will quickly become your favorite sous chef. With 11 one-touch presets for frying favorites, like bacon, veggies, and fries, you can take the guesswork out of cooking and let the Cosori do the work instead. One reviewer who “absolutely hates cooking” said, after using it, “I'm actually excited to cook for the first time ever.” You’ll feel the same way!

Buy it: Amazon

3. Innsky Air Fryer; $90

Innsky/Amazon

With its streamlined design and the ability to cook with little to no oil, the Innsky air fryer will make you feel like the picture of elegance as you chow down on a piece of fried shrimp. You can set a timer on the fryer so it starts cooking when you want it to, and it automatically shuts off when the cooking time is done (a great safety feature for chefs who get easily distracted).

Buy it: Amazon

4. Secura Air Fryer; $62

Secura/Amazon

This air fryer from Secura uses a combination of heating techniques—hot air and high-speed air circulation—for fast and easy food prep. And, as one reviewer remarked, with an extra-large 4.2-quart basket “[it’s] good for feeding a crowd, which makes it a great option for large families.” This fryer even comes with a toaster rack and skewers, making it a great addition to a neighborhood barbecue or family glamping trip.

Buy it: Amazon

5. Chefman Turbo Fry; $60

Chefman/Amazon

For those of you really looking to cut back, the Chefman Turbo Fry uses 98 percent less oil than traditional fryers, according to the manufacturer. And with its two-in-one tank basket that allows you to cook multiple items at the same time, you can finally stop using so many pots and pans when you’re making dinner.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Ninja Air Fryer; $100

Ninja/Amazon

The Ninja Air Fryer is a multipurpose gadget that allows you to do far more than crisp up your favorite foods. This air fryer’s one-touch control panel lets you air fry, roast, reheat, or even dehydrate meats, fruits, and veggies, whether your ingredients are fresh or frozen. And the simple interface means that you're only a couple buttons away from a homemade dinner.

Buy it: Amazon

7. Instant Pot Air Fryer + Electronic Pressure Cooker; $180

Instant Pot/Amazon

Enjoy all the perks of an Instant Pot—the ability to serve as a pressure cooker, slow cooker, yogurt maker, and more—with a lid that turns the whole thing into an air fryer as well. The multi-level fryer basket has a broiling tray to ensure even crisping throughout, and it’s big enough to cook a meal for up to eight. If you’re more into a traditional air fryer, check out Instant Pot’s new Instant Vortex Pro ($140) air fryer, which gives you the ability to bake, proof, toast, and more.

Buy it: Amazon

8. Omorc Habor Air Fryer; $100

Omorc Habor/Amazon

With a 5.8-quart capacity, this air fryer from Omorc Habor is larger than most, giving you the flexibility of cooking dinner for two or a spread for a party. To give you a clearer picture of the size, its square fryer basket, built to maximize cooking capacity, can handle a five-pound chicken (or all the fries you could possibly eat). Plus, with a non-stick coating and dishwasher-safe basket and frying pot, this handy appliance practically cleans itself.

Buy it: Amazon

9. Dash Deluxe Air Fryer; $100

Dash/Amazon

Dash’s air fryer might look retro, but its high-tech cooking ability is anything but. Its generously sized frying basket can fry up to two pounds of French fries or two dozen wings, and its cool touch handle makes it easy (and safe) to use. And if you're still stumped on what to actually cook once you get your Dash fryer, you'll get a free recipe guide in the box filled with tips and tricks to get the most out of your meal.

Buy it: Amazon

10. Bella Air Fryer; $52

Bella/Amazon

This petite air fryer from Bella may be on the smaller side, but it still packs a powerful punch. Its 2.6-quart frying basket makes it an ideal choice for couples or smaller families—all you have to do is set the temperature and timer, and throw your food inside. Once the meal is ready, its indicator light will ding to let you know that it’s time to eat.

Buy it: Amazon

This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Mental Floss may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

You Can Play Real Music on This 3622-Piece LEGO Grand Piano

LEGO
LEGO

Putting together thousands of LEGO pieces can provide hours of entertainment, but there isn't much you can do with most sets once they're assembled. That isn't the case with the new grand piano model from the company; once it's put together, this LEGO set plays like a real instrument, according to Travel + Leisure.

With 3622 pieces and several moving parts, the grand piano is one of the more complex products the toy company has made. Like a real piano, the lid props open to reveal its intricate inner workings, and each of the 25 keys connects to its own hammer, so you can have the satisfaction of playing your toy piano after building it piece by piece. The model also features a keyboard cover that opens, pedals that move up and down, an adjustable bench, and a music stand.

If you don't know how to play a piano of any size, LEGO can take care of that part for you. Connect your creation to a free smartphone app to have it play your choice of five songs on its own. For builders who can read music, the set comes with a piece of sheet music composed by the fan designer who pitched the model idea. You can also use the app to compose and record your own LEGO masterpieces.

The LEGO grand piano is listed at $350 in the LEGO store, though the product is temporarily out of stock. You can watch the complete set in action in the video below.

[h/t Travel + Leisure]

This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Mental Floss may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.