20 Modern Dating-Related Slang Words and Phrases to Know

Love has always been complicated, powerful, and altogether one of life’s most memorable and unforgettable aspects. Yet while love itself may not have changed much at its core over the years, romance etiquette definitely has transformed over time—and so have the words people use to describe relationships and dating. 

Whereas Victorian-era mariners may have used the phrase “raked fore and aft” to describe being hopelessly in love, today, that feeling might instead be described as “locked in.” Read on for a survival guide to decoding how modern romance is spoken about among the youth and the chronically online, and you might even gain some clarity into your relationship or dating experiences along the way.

1. Beige Flag
2. Benching
3. Breadcrumbing
4. Cuffing Season
5. Delulu
6. Ghosting
7. Fizzling
8. Future-Proofing
9. Ick
10. Kitten-Fishing
11. Love-Bombing
12. Orbiting
13. Pocketing
14. Rizz
15. Roster
16. Situationship
17. Sneaky Link
18. Soft Launch
19. Sweatpants Theory
20. Zombieing

Beige Flag

If a red flag is a blatant warning sign in a relationship and a green flag is a very positive sign, a beige flag falls somewhere in the middle. This term typically describes a behavior that’s a bit strange or surprising, but that isn’t necessarily good or bad—just a bit odd. The term originated on TikTok, where it began as a way to describe boring behavior, but it’s evolved over the years into a way to label quirks that aren’t adorable or entirely off-putting, but rather somewhere in the beige middle.

Benching

Benching is another not-so-ethically-correct dating tactic wherein one person keeps other people in their orbit as backup plans while they focus on a primary relationship, knowing all the while that they have plenty of other options if things don’t work out. 

This term originated in sports, where athletes would be benched as a way to give them a break, as a penalty, or for other reasons. In the dating world, a benched partner might find themselves receiving a late-night booty call text or steadily being breadcrumbed (see below).

Breadcrumbing

This term is also used in the dating world to describe a fairly cruel tactic that involves giving people tiny little bits of attention—or breadcrumbs—only to fail to ever really commit or, in some cases, even meet in person. When that guy sends you a million flirty texts and comments on Instagram, only to never follow up when you ask if he’d actually like to meet for coffee, that's textbook breadcrumbing.

Cuffing Season

Cuffing season describes that time when the air gets colder and many people find themselves trying to find a partner to snuggle with through the winter. Many people who get together during this time often find themselves later breaking up in the summer, though of course this isn’t always the case—but there’s something about the cold weather that just seems to trigger a desire for someone warm and cozy, at least until hot girl summer comes around.

Delulu

Delulu is a shortened adaptation of the term “delusional,” and is usually used to refer to people with unrealistic or far-fetched ideas or expectations. This term doesn’t always concern romance, but it’s often used to describe people who are attached to the belief that someone likes them back when in actuality, this person doesn’t know their name.

Ghosting

Ghosting describes the act of completely disappearing or cutting contact without any sort of explanation. It isn’t always used to describe romance—anyone can ghost, be it a job or a friend—but it’s most frequently used in the dating scene to describe that strange phenomenon where someone pretends to be interested, then suddenly and completely goes silent.

Fizzling

Fizzling lies somewhere in the hazy middle of ghosting and a well-communicated breakup, and it essentially means slowly reducing communication and connection without actually confronting the issues in the relationship.

Generally, this will be spearheaded by one person who slowly attempts to back out of the relationship by replying less or withdrawing without actually just ending things. It can also apply to conversations that happen on dating apps where one person slowly replies more and more slowly until eventually, things simply fizzle out.

Future-Proofing

Future-proofing is a term that originated in product design, where it refers to making sure that a product will stand the test of time. In recent years it’s become more commonly used in reference to relationships, where it describes making sure that you and your partner’s bond is based on shared visions and values rather than just short-term chemistry.

Future-proofing your relationship might look like asking questions about children and finances early on, but it can also mean focusing on conflict resolution, setting up date nights, or generally thinking about ways to keep your relationship strong long-term.

Ick

The dreaded ick is a term in dating that refers to suddenly losing feelings for someone, typically by becoming extremely unattracted to them out of nowhere. The ick is often triggered by small but bothersome behaviors, such as someone having sauce on their face or wearing something the ick-experiencer perceives as unstylish. This generally occurs during the beginning phases of dating and is more related to surface-level habits rather than deeper issues.

The term was popularized by Love Island’s Olivia Attwood in 2017. “At the end of the day,” she said on the show, “if you’re seeing a boy and you get the ick, it doesn’t go.” However, psychologists say the ick actually presents an opportunity to question whether these feelings indicate true incompatibility—or a more superficial resistance to something that could be real.

Kitten-Fishing

Catfishing has become a common enough term, even inspiring an entire TV show about people who pretend to be completely different humans or steal others’ identities in order to fool others online. Kitten-fishing is a slightly softer version of this phenomenon that refers to blurring aspects of your identity in order to make yourself more appealing to potential romantic partners, usually online. Kitten-fishes might embellish the details of their job descriptions or slightly edit photos of themselves—either way, they’re not entirely hiding but they’re definitely not being real.

Love-Bombing

Love-bombing is another extremely common term in the modern dating world that describes one person completely overwhelming another with compliments, gifts, and declarations of love. This is often seen as a red flag that can hint that the love-bomber either has narcissistic tendencies or is about to ghost, or both. It’s generally seen as a manipulative tactic designed to get the love-bombed person to lower their defenses, often with devastating results.

Orbiting

Orbiting is a term with a couple of different meanings. It can refer to a friendship where one person wants something more and constantly does unreciprocated romantic things for the other, or it can describe a connection where one person cuts all contact with someone but still engages with their social media. It can also describe a situation where a person is constantly engaging with someone else’s social media posts, usually due to romantic interest, while making no effort to actually connect with them.

Pocketing

This term is similar to breadcrumbing, and it refers to a relationship where someone keeps their partner secret, often by not posting about them on social media and not introducing them to friends and family. Sometimes this can simply be motivated by a lack of certainty about the relationship or a desire to take things slow, but it can also be used by someone to hide the fact that they’re cheating—and either way, it doesn’t usually feel great for the person being pocketed.

Rizz

Rizz is a common Gen-Z slang term that refers to charisma, charm, or attractiveness. It can also be a verb that describes flirting with or seducing someone, and is a bit similar to the Gen-Z term aura, though rizz generally has very positive connotations, whereas aura can be associated with aura farming, or trying too hard to raise your rizz levels.

Roster

A roster is a term that refers to a list of people that one person might be talking to, sleeping with, or seeing non-exclusively. This is a practice that many people in the modern dating world use while exploring their options, and usually involves being honest about where you’re at with everyone on your roster, at least until you decide to commit—or renounce the whole thing and try celibacy. 

Situationship

The dreaded situationship refers to a romantic entanglement that lacks any kind of clear commitment or parameters. This term can describe a summer fling, a friends-with-benefits situation, or any kind of almost-relationship in that realm. A situationship is not necessarily a bad thing if both partners are on the same page, but unfortunately, these relationships tend to blur the lines and more often than not, someone gets hurt. 

Sneaky Link

A sneaky link is essentially what it sounds like—a person someone is hooking up with or seeing in secret. The link in question might be kept on the down-low because they’re an ex, they have baggage or a reputation, or because one or both of the two people aren’t ready for commitment. Generally, these are no-strings-attached connections, though there’s always the possibility that someone will catch feelings, and of course this exact scenario has provided the plot for many a rom-com.

Soft Launch

A soft launch describes posting low-key snapshots of your partner on social media that gently hint that you’re in a relationship. This, of course, is frequently followed by the hard launch, which means posting something that very clearly declares your relationship to the world.

Sweatpants Theory

The sweatpants theory describes the idea that sometimes, men might find casual clothes more attractive on women than fancy outfits and makeup. It’s an idea that went viral on TikTok in 2024 after a group of girls claimed that they received more male attention in sweatpants during a night out than in their usual more formal attire.

Some have criticized this theory, saying it plays into outdated ideas about “low-maintenance” women being more attractive to men, or simply noting that it doesn’t apply to all people and to attract your perfect partner, you should maybe just wear what you want.

Zombieing

If ghosting means completely disappearing, zombieing is a natural follow-up to that which describes reappearing suddenly in someone’s life after ghosting them. This might look like an ex popping up out of the woodwork and surprising you with a message or that Tinder date suddenly texting, “u up?” at 3 a.m. Either way, it’s bound to be a little scary, just like a proper undead monster.