10 Monogamous Animals That Just Want To Settle Down

iStock
iStock

They can't put a ring on it, but when these animals find a mate, they're ready to commit.

1. Gibbons

The furry, tree-swinging gibbon doesn't monkey around with a lot of partners in its 35- to 40-year lifespan. Males and females form strong bonds and exhibit a surprising amount of relationship equality as they raise a family. They care for their young together, groom each other, and spend quality time vocalizing and hanging out. But not every relationship is perfect. Cheating, breakups, and remarriage all occur within the gibbon community. Sexting and online dating, however, do not. Yet.

2. Schistosoma mansoni worms

What's a nice girl like you doing in a human like this? There's nothing romantic about Schistosoma Mansoni, a parasitic flatworm that uses freshwater snails to get to humans. Once it attaches to human skin, it usually penetrates the epidermis through a hair follicle and deposits larvae that feed on blood in the lymphatic system and lungs. When the larvae migrate to the heart, they start looking for The One. Male and female larvae monogamously pair off and eventually travel to the mesenteric veins that drain blood from the intestines. Together, they reach sexual maturity and produce about 300 eggs per day. Postively heartwarming.

3. Wolves

It's usually "'til death do us part" for wolves. In the wild, they start breeding by the age of two. Mated pairs build their wolf pack by having a new litter every year. (Most wolves don't experience reproductive senescence, either, and can have babies until they die.) So when you see a lone wolf, have some sympathy. He's single and looking for love, mourning his dead partner, or, in extreme cases, nursing a breakup with the pack.

4. Beavers

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Only about 3 percent of mammals are socially monogamous, but leave it to beavers to show us how it's done. After mating, the rodents spend as much time maintaining their relationships as they do their dams and lodges. The males and females co-parent their young and stay together until one partner dies. Attached beavers occasionally philander, but it's not enough to break up the family.

5. Shingleback skinks

Unlike most reptiles, the shingleback skink of Australia only has eyes for one mate. Males make a series of moves—including caressing and licking females—before copulating. Courtship takes months, but partnered bliss can last over 20 years.

6. Barn owls

Some 90 percent of birds are socially monogamous, but that doesn't mean they're completely faithful to one mate. Barn owls, however, put all their eggs in one basket. Males woo females with screeches and gifts of dead mice. If the female responds with croaking sounds, she's basically saying, "I do."

7. Bald eagles 

pair of bald eagles
iStock

Long-distance relationships aren't easy, but bald eagles thrive in them. The birds fly solo during winter and migration, reconnecting with their mates each breeding season. Most eagles pair off by the age of five and stay together at least 20 years.

8. French angelfish

pair of french angelfish
iStock

Don't let the name fool you. These lovers are aggressive fighters that do almost everything as a pair—hunting, hanging out in the reef, and defending their territory. And you thought your ex was clingy.

9. Octopods

The brainiest invertebrate of them all usually keeps others at eight arms' length. But when it's time to mate, they dedicate their lives to one partner. Well, sort of. Octopuses only live one or two years, so they spawn once and then die shortly after. But the Pacific striped octopus is an exception, with the ability to lay multiple clutches of eggs. Instead of mating once at a distance to avoid being eaten, these creatures mate face to face a number of times and even appear to kiss and fondle each other's suckers. Get a room, you two!

10. Swans

pair of swans
iStock

We've already established that birds of a feather like to flock together, but the commitment of the male swan really stands out. In addition to helping their mates build nests, they're one of only two male birds in the Anatidae family that share egg incubation duties.

How to Keep a Cat Out of Your Christmas Tree

MW47/iStock via Getty Images
MW47/iStock via Getty Images

You may be able to resist poking around the Christmas tree until December 25, but your cat has different plans. The tree you spent hours decorating is nothing more than an oversized toy to the feline in your home. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to dissuade your pet from swatting away all your hard work.

As Lifehacker reports, an elaborate skirt is the key to a cat-friendly tree. If a cat loves the soft, fluffy material beneath the tree, it may lose interest in the branches overhead. A different approach is to use the skirt as an opportunity to create an uninviting barrier between your cat and the tree. It's hard to mess with ornaments when they're hanging above a layer of tape laid out sticky-side up, or even a bed of pinecones if you want something that looks more natural.

Some curious cats can't be deterred by a few obstacles in their way. For these cases, PetCareRx recommends using a safe cat repellent. There are many smells cats can't stand, like bitter apple, citronella, potpourri, and even Vicks VapoRub. You can either spray pine cones or cotton balls with these scents and tuck them around the tree, or spray them directly onto the branches. Your cat will suddenly be repulsed by the shiny new object in the living room, plus your tree will smell a little more festive—especially if it's fake.

Even after taking these precautions, it helps to have a few more safeguards in place. Limiting ornaments to the top half of the tree where they'll be out of kitty's reach, and securing them with strings instead of wire hooks, means they're less likely to end up on the ground or in your pet's paws. Location is also crucial—setting up your tree right next to a sofa or another piece of furniture your cat likes to climb on is like inviting him to use it as a launchpad.

If you're thinking of skipping the traditional tree altogether this year, here are some regional alternatives.

[h/t Lifehacker]

Treat Your Achy Back to a Cozy, Vibrating Sloth Pillow This Winter

Smoko
Smoko

Battling your way through the biting winds of winter just to get to your office or run a simple errand—even if you’re just dashing a few yards to and from your car—can make your body feel like it’s been through an actual battle. And while cold weather definitely justifies curling up on the couch under a weighted blanket for hours on end, sometimes a regular throw pillow just isn’t enough to soothe your stiff muscles.

Smoko’s plush boo pillow from Urban Outfitters ($49), however, just might do the trick. Not only does it have a fleece exterior, it also vibrates: Just press the power button on the right arm, and the pillow will give you a subtle, relaxing massage to sink into while you binge-watch whatever television series your friends won’t stop talking about. According to PopSugar, it comes with three AA batteries, so you don’t have to worry about bundling back up for a last-minute trip to the convenience store after you realize the only batteries you have are in your TV remote.

The smiling sloth face on the front gives you the impression that you’re being hugged by the world’s cutest, coziest arboreal mammal. There’s also a handle on the top of the pillow, so you can easily relocate from the couch to your bed whenever you feel like it.

In short, the sloth-themed pillow might make you actually look forward to hearing your local meteorologist drop the term “wintry mix” in the forecast. And, at $49, it’s an ideal gift for anyone on your list who loves sloths and/or enjoys indulging in sloth-like behavior.

You can get one (or more) from Urban Outfitters here—and, for the full effect, why not pair it with a nice ugly Christmas sweater? Here are our 11 favorites.

[h/t PopSugar]

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