10 Bizarre The Sopranos Fan Theories

HBO
HBO

Did Tony die at the end of The Sopranos? Did Carmela? Did we all die instead? Even if you’ve never seen HBO’s iconic crime drama, you’ve likely heard five dozen theories on what happens in the finale. But not all Sopranos fan theories concern that dramatic cut to black. There’s plenty of wild speculation on cats, cannibals, and cults, too. Learn all about it below, but if you’re a newbie, watch out: there are some spoilers ahead.

1. THE SOPRANOS ARE CANNIBALS.

HBO

According to this insane theory, Tony Soprano’s men don’t just kill people—they serve them on the menu at Satriale’s. The case rests on two pieces of evidence: 1. Christopher Moltisanti’s offhand remark that it would be a "long time" before he "eats anything at Satriale’s" while disposing of a body and 2. Tony’s crime family's name, DiMeo. That’s pretty similar to Demeo, as in the notorious gangster Roy DeMeo. He had a reputation for dismembering his victims, and certain rumors claim he did something more gruesome than that. While this is a fairly flimsy argument, just to be safe: don’t order the veal at Satriale’s.

2. JANICE WAS IN THE WILD WILD COUNTRY CULT.

Before Tony’s sister Janice relocated to New Jersey, she spent a lot of time in Los Angeles. There she joined an ashram and renamed herself Parvati, after the Hindu goddess of love and fertility. That means she was on the West Coast in the 1980s, at the same time as the Rajneeshpuram cult. Which brings us to the obvious question: Did Janice join their compound in Oregon? It would explain why we know so little about her past, and considering her familiarity with crime, she could’ve helped plan the cult’s arson and assassination attempts. We also know she worked at a coffee shop in Seattle, and isn’t that exactly where you’d go if you were fleeing a cult one state over?

3. VIN MAKAZIAN IS PETER MCCALLISTER.

Remember that detective on Tony’s payroll from season one? His name was Vin Makazian, and he was played by actor John Heard. John Heard also played Kevin McCallister’s dad Peter in Home Alone, and some Redditors think that’s no coincidence. They argue it’s the same character on a long timeline, taking mob money to support his family’s lavish lifestyle. How else could the McCallisters afford a 15-person vacation to Paris?

4. MEADOW ISN’T TONY’S DAUGHTER, BUT HER FRIEND IS.

This fan theory starts with Carmela Soprano having an affair. She gets pregnant, convinces Tony the baby girl is his, then spends a lot of time agonizing over Catholicism to cope with her guilt. But around the same time, Tony’s actual daughter is born. She grows up to be Meadow’s friend Hunter—the one who ends up in medical school, which is what Tony always wanted for Meadow. How did Reddit arrive at this complicated conclusion? It’s all based on Meadow’s “darker features” and relative lack of mental health problems that seem to plague the rest of her family.

5. THAT ORANGE CAT IS A GHOST.

Toward the end of The Sopranos, we meet an orange tabby cat. It loves to stare at a photo on the wall—one of Christopher Moltisanti, Tony’s recently departed nephew and former prótége. Christopher was also the fiance of Adriana La Cerva, a woman with a fondness for animal prints who also met a violent end in the series. That’s why some people think the cat is Adriana’s ghost, back to spook the mobsters who killed her. Others counter that the cat is merely a representation of Adriana, not a literal specter or reincarnation.

6. TONY AVENGED ADRIANA’S DOG.

Ghost cats aside, Christopher was never much of a friend to animals. In season four, he accidentally sat on Adriana’s dog Cosette, crushing the poor pup to death. Karma came back for Christopher later in the series, when Tony whacked him to eliminate a persistent liability. But at least one fan thinks it was actually over Cosette—and there’s convincing photo evidence to support this theory.

7. LILYHAMMER IS SILVIO DANTE’S COMA DREAM.

Netflix

When we last see Tony’s consigliere Silvio Dante, he’s in a coma, his fate a complete mystery. Or is it? Lots of people think the Netflix series Lilyhammer is Silvio’s crazy coma dream, since it also concerns a mob type played by Steven Van Zandt.

8. TONY WASN’T SHOT; HE HAD A STROKE.

Many fans believe Tony was shot in the final scene of the series, when the music abruptly stops and the camera cuts to black. But what if he died under less violent circumstances? As Vulture points out, Tony wasn’t the healthiest guy. (All that pasta and cigars add up.) So it’s very possible a stroke—rather than a bullet—took him out.

9. TONY WAS DEAD ALREADY.

Will Hart, HBO

Another finale theory? Tony doesn’t die ... because he’s already dead. This Reddit thread suggests Tony croaked in the season five episode “The Test Dream,” which features a lengthy dream sequence. According to the fan theory, that sequence is actually Tony passing into the afterlife, and the following season is Tony processing his last memories.

10. THE JUKEBOX JUST GOT UNPLUGGED.

Why did the music cut out in the series finale? Maybe the Journey tune stopped because someone tripped over the jukebox plug. Watch your step the next time you’re in a New Jersey diner. (Especially Holsten's in Bloomfield, New Jersey, where The Sopranos's divisive final scene was filmed.)

14 Retro Gifts for Millennials

Ravi Palwe, Unsplash
Ravi Palwe, Unsplash

Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996, which means the pop culture they grew up with is officially retro. No matter what generation you belong to, consider these gifts when shopping for the Millennials in your life this holiday season.

1. Reptar Funko Pop!; $29

Amazon

This vinyl Reptar figurine from Funko is as cool as anything you’d find in the rugrats’ toy box. The monster dinosaur has been redesigned in classic Pop! style, making it a perfect desk or shelf accessory for the grown-up Nickelodeon fan. It also glows in the dark, which should appeal to anyone’s inner child.

Buy it: Amazon

2. Dragon Ball Z Slippers; $20

Hot Topic

You don’t need to change out of your pajamas to feel like a Super Saiyan. These slippers are emblazoned with the same kanji Goku wears on his gi in Dragon Ball Z: one for training under King Kai and one for training with Master Roshi. And with a soft sherpa lining, the footwear feels as good as it looks.

Buy it: Hot Topic

3. The Pokémon Cookbook; $15

Hop Topic

What do you eat after a long day of training and catching Pokémon? Any dish in The Pokémon Cookbook is a great option. This book features more than 35 recipes inspired by creatures from the Pokémon franchise, including Poké Ball sushi rolls and mashed Meowth potatoes.

Buy it: Hot Topic

4. Lisa Frank Activity Book; $5

Urban Outfitters

Millennials will never be too old for Lisa Frank, especially when the artist’s playful designs come in a relaxing activity book. Watercolor brings the rainbow characters in this collection to life. Just gather some painting supplies and put on a podcast for a relaxing, nostalgia-fueled afternoon.

Buy it: Urban Outfitters

5. Shoebox Tape Recorder with USB; $28

Amazon

The days of recording mix tapes don’t have to be over. This device looks and functions just like tape recorders from the pre-smartphone era. And with a USB port as well as a line-in jack and built-in mic, users can easily import their digital music collection onto retro cassette tapes.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Days of the Week Scrunchie Set; $12

Urban Outfitters

Millennials can be upset that a trend from their youth is old enough to be cool again, or they can embrace it. This scrunchie set is for anyone happy to see the return of the hair accessory. The soft knit ponytail holders come in a set of five—one for each day of the school (or work) week.

Buy it: Urban Outfitters

7. D&D Graphic T-shirt; $38-$48

80s Tees

The perfect gift for the Dungeon Master in your life, this graphic tee is modeled after the cover of the classic Dungeons & Dragons rule book. It’s available in sizes small through 3XL.

Buy it: 80s Tees

8. Chuck E. Cheese T-shirt; $36-$58

80s Tees

Few Millennials survived childhood without experiencing at least one birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. This retro T-shirt sports the brand’s original name: Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre. It may be the next-best gift for a Chuck E. Cheese fan behind a decommissioned animatronic.

Buy it: 80s Tees

9. The Nightmare Before Christmas Picnic Blanket Bag; $40

Shop Disney

Fans of Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas will recognize the iconic scene on the front of this messenger bag. Unfold it and the bag becomes a blanket fit for a moonlit picnic among the pumpkins. The bottom side is waterproof and the top layer is made of soft fleece.

Buy it: Shop Disney

10. Toy Story Alien Socks; $15

Shop Disney

You don’t need to be skilled at the claw machine to take home a pair of these socks. Decorated with the aliens from Toy Story, they’re made from soft-knit fabric and are big enough to fit adult feet.

Buy it: Shop Disney

11. Goosebumps Board Game; $24

Amazon

Fans that read every book in R.L. Stine’s series growing up can now play the Goosebumps board game. In this game, based on the Goosebumps movie, players take on the role of their favorite monster from the series and race to the typewriter at the end of the trail of manuscripts.

Buy it: Amazon

12. Tamagotchi Mini; $19

Amazon

If you know someone who killed their Tamagotchi in the '90s, give them another chance to show off their digital pet-care skills. This Tamagotchi is a smaller, simplified version of the original game. It doubles as a keychain, so owners have no excuse to forget to feed their pet.

Buy it: Amazon

13. SNES Classic; $275

Amazon

The SNES Classic is much easier to find now than when it first came out, and it's still just as entertaining for retro video game fans. This mini console comes preloaded with 21 Nintendo games, including Super Mario Kart and Street Fighter II.

Buy it: Amazon

14. Planters Cheez Balls; $24

Amazon

Planters revived its Cheez Balls in 2018 after pulling them from shelves nearly a decade earlier. To Millennials unaware of that fact, this gift could be their dream come true. The throwback snack even comes in the classic canister fans remember.

Buy it: Amazon

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America’s Most Popular Horror Movie Villains, Mapped

FrontierBundles.com
FrontierBundles.com

No matter how you feel about scary movies, it's hard to avoid them around Halloween. This is the time of year when the faces of cinema's classic horror villains seem to pop up in every store window and television set you see. Depending on where you live, certain horror icons may be especially hard to ignore. Check out the map below to find out the most popular scary movie villain in your state.

To make the map, FrontierBundles.com chose 15 classic horror movie antagonists and looked at regional Google Trends data for each name from the past year. Frankenstein's Monster from 1931's Frankenstein dominates most of the country, with 11 states including Pennsylvania and Arizona searching for the character. Ghostface from 1996's Scream ranked second with eight states. Chucky from Child's Play (1988), the Xenomorph from the Alien franchise, and Norman Bates from Psycho (1960) also rank high on the list.

FrontierBundles.com

Not every Halloween term Americans are searching for is horror-related. Some of the more wholesome seasonal queries that appear in Google's data include candy, crafts, and maze. But for every Google user searching for family-friendly fall activities, there are plenty looking up horror movies and monsters as well. Here's what people are Googling in your state for Halloween.