Want to Swear Less? Here Are 5 Methods You Can Try

iStock.com/sdominick
iStock.com/sdominick

Swearing is awfully good fun, and in some ways, it’s even good for you. However, it’s not always proper in the presence of polite company, and as we all know, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. So if you’re trying to cut back on cussing, here are a few tactics you can try.

1. Ask a friend for help.

We’re often blind to our own bad habits, so you may want to enlist a friend, spouse, or family member to hold you accountable. Any time you let a curse word fly, have them point it out to you. They could clap, call out a code word, or make a sound any time you utter a profanity. The more you start to recognize your patterns of speech, the easier it will be to change them.

2. Find some replacement words.

Consider this a fun challenge to boost your vocabulary. Sure, you could say “fudge” or “frick” instead of the other f-word, but you don’t have to limit your speech to such unimaginative niceties. Try on some of these old-fashioned swears for size, like “Well, dad-sizzle it,” “What in thunderation,” and “Great horn spoon!” You’ll sound like Ron Burgundy from Anchorman and might even get a few laughs in the process. Plus, the more ridiculous you sound, the more incentive you’ll have for nixing your need to swear altogether.

3. Pretend like your grandma is listening.

Of course, some of the sassier grandmas swear like sailors, so this trick might not work for you. Still, it’s helpful to think of someone you wouldn’t want to offend with your potty mouth, whether it’s your stern aunt, a pastor, or the kids in your family. The next time you’re about to swear at the referee on your TV screen, picture this person sitting next to you on your couch.

4. Train your brain to think differently.

It’s okay to slip up now and then, but immediately after you realize your mistake, ask yourself what you should have said instead. Say the preferred word out loud, and over time, “these exercises will train you to think and act differently,” according to the Cuss Control Academy.

5. Get out the good old-fashioned swear jar.

This tried-and-true method works because it hits us right where it hurts: in the wallet. Any time you swear, get out a crisp $1 bill and stick it in the jar. Set a goal for yourself—say, two weeks with no swearing—and let the swear jar serve as a testament to your journey. After reaching your goal, you can use that money to buy yourself a nice reward. Alternatively, if you're more motivated by punishments than rewards, you could promise to give that money to your least fiscally responsible friend.

Turn Your Couch or Bed Into an Office With This Comfortable Lap Desk

LapGear
LapGear

If you're not working in an office right now, you'll understand the freedom of taking a Zoom meeting from your back porch, jotting down notes from your bed, and filling out spreadsheets from your sofa. But working from home isn't always as comfortable as everyone thinks it is, especially if you're trying to get through the day while balancing a notebook, computer, and stationery on your lap. To give you the space you need while maintaining your well-earned place on the couch, LapGear has the perfect solution to your problems with their lap desk, which you can find on Amazon for $35.

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With more than 6000 reviews and a 4.8-star rating on Amazon, the lap desk can fit laptops and tablets up to 15.6 inches across and includes an integrated 5-inch-by-9-inch mouse pad and cell phone slot for better organization. There's even a ledge built into the desk to help keep your device from sliding when you're at an angle.

For some added comfort, the bottom of the desk is designed with dual-bolster cushions, so you'll never have to feel a hot laptop on your thighs again. The top surface is available in various colors like white marble ($30), silver carbon ($35), and oak woodgrain ($35) to work with your design aesthetic.

Find out more about LapGear’s lap desk here on Amazon.

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6 Bizarre Halloween-Related Lawsuits

Halloween scares can sometimes invite legal action.
Halloween scares can sometimes invite legal action.
inhauscreative/iStock via Getty Images

For most people, Halloween is a time to be someone other than themselves and enjoy a party atmosphere. But occasionally, those relaxed inhibitions can result in legal trouble. Take a look at several strange cases involving costume malfunctions, collapsing pumpkins, and other spooky court filings.

1. An Inflammatory Situation

Homemade Halloween costumes carry risks.hudiemm/iStock via Getty Images

In 1984, Michigan natives Frank and Susan Ferlito attended a Halloween party. Susan was dressed as Mary of Mary and Her Little Lamb fame; Frank was her animal sidekick. Susan achieved Frank's lamb look by gluing cotton batting made by Johnson & Johnson to his long underwear, effectively covering him in flammable material from head to toe. For reasons known only to Frank Ferlito, he decided to light a cigarette using a butane lighter. His left arm was set ablaze, and Frank suffered burns on over a third of his body.

The coupled sued Johnson & Johnson. In 1989, a jury awarded Frank Ferlito $555,000 and Susan Ferlito $70,000. In 1991, Johnson & Johnson was successful in petitioning for a new trial, in part because the Ferlitos had each admitted to knowing that cotton would burn if it was exposed to flames. While the plaintiffs argued that the cotton didn’t have a warning, Frank also admitted he ignored the warnings on cigarette packages, meaning it wouldn't have altered their behavior. A Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit ruled in favor of Johnson & Johnson in 1992.

2. A Rotten Inflatable Pumpkin

Inflatable pumpkins should not be used as shelter.peterspiro/iStock via Getty Images

For years, Milwaukee resident Jon Majdoch enjoyed a brisk seasonal business operating a number of temporary Halloween shops named Halloween Express. The “shops” were actually housed underneath a giant, 100-foot diameter inflatable pumpkin. Though high winds had once blown one along a freeway, there were no major issues. In 2017, however, Majdoch custom ordered a smaller inflatable pumpkin so that he could set up a smaller store in the parking lot of a home goods store. The item came from Larger Than Life Inflatables and another company, House of Bounce, assembled it. One day, it rained so hard that water pooled on top of the pumpkin and prompted it to collapse. No one was injured, but Majdoch’s inventory was ruined. His insurance company, Hastings Mutual, paid out a six-figure policy and sued both Larger Than Life Inflatables and House of Bounce alleging manufacturing defects. The litigation is ongoing.

3. The Eyes Have It

Cosmetic contact lenses are illegal to sell without a prescription.sdominick/iStock via Getty Images

If you’re considering wearing cosmetic contact lenses for Halloween, you might want to rethink that decision. A number of retailers have faced lawsuits from state attorney generals and consumers owing to eye damage caused by the non-prescription lenses. In 2016, Missouri attorney general Chris Koster filed a lawsuit against Gotcha Costume Rental for selling the lenses without a prescription, a violation of both state and federal laws. (Gotcha Costume Rental owner Aaro Froese agreed to comply with the law and only sell contacts to customers with prescriptions.) The lenses, which may not fit properly, can scratch the cornea and cause infection or even blindness. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) routinely offers a consumer warning that contacts are medical devices and should never be worn unless prescribed by an eye care professional.

4. Banana Appeal

The banana costume has been the subject of multiple lawsuits.sdominick/iStock via Getty Images

With dozens of costume makers all over the world making every kind of costume imaginable, it’s easy to find similar products on store racks. But in the case of the banana costume, it turns out they may still be subject to copyright law. In 2017, costume manufacturer Rasta Imposta sued a number of companies, including Kmart and Kangaroo Manufacturing, for selling a banana costume they felt was infringing on their own. Citing things like the color and shape of the costume, the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia agreed, affirming in 2019 that Rasta Imposta’s banana was distinctive. In its ruling, the court wrote that the company was “entitled to the veritable fruits of its intellectual labor.”

5. Fright Night

You can sue a haunted house for scaring you, but you probably won't have a very convincing argument.darkbird77/iStock via Getty Images

Thanks to liability waivers, it's notoriously difficult to sue haunted houses for delivering what they promise: a good scare. In 2011, Scott Griffin and friends went to The Haunted Trail, a haunted attraction in San Diego, California. When Griffin reached the exit, he thought it was over. Instead, a man wielding a chainsaw moved toward him aggressively, catching Griffin by surprise and prompting him to run away—then fall and injure his wrist. Griffin sued the operators but couldn’t find any satisfaction. A trial court ruled in favor of the defendant, with the 4th District Court of Appeal affirming the ruling in 2015. It was, the judges determined, a case of someone paying money to experience “extreme fright” and receiving “exactly what he paid for.”

6. Spider Man

It's not acceptable to open fire on fake spiders in an office setting.abzee/iStock via Getty Images

While this Halloween tale didn’t result in a lawsuit, it did affect a few attorneys in West Virginia. In 2015, Logan County assistant prosecutor Chris White reacted (some might say overreacted) to a small army of fake spiders that had been strung up for Halloween by pulling a gun and insisting that he was going to begin shooting the replicas. Logan County prosecuting attorney John Bennett was forced to suspend White over the incident, explaining that White really hates spiders and that the gun wasn’t actually loaded. The spider decorations were eventually removed.