The Onion or Springfield Shopper?

They're two of our finest sources for fictional news. Can you tell which of these are headlines from The Onion, and which are from the local paper on The Simpsons?

1 of 10
Man Wakes Up From Bender With Financial Problems Solved
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
2 of 10
World’s Largest Metaphor Hits Iceburg
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
3 of 10
Parade To Distract Joyless Citizenry
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
4 of 10
Drugs Win Drug War
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
5 of 10
Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
6 of 10
Squirrel Resembling Abraham Lincoln Found
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
7 of 10
Funny Dog to Make Life Worthwhile
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
8 of 10
Brave Mountain Lion Fends Off Group of Hikers
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
9 of 10
President Declares World Peace
The Onion
Springfield Shopper
10 of 10
Pudding Factory Disaster Bring Slow, Creamy Death to Town Below
The Onion
Springfield Shopper