9 Things You Probably Get Wrong About Growing Old

Aging might seem scary, but you probably don’t have all of the facts. Like, how much sleep do older people really need? And, is it dangerous for them to partake in hanky panky? Let’s take a close look at the myths and misunderstandings behind getting old, as adapted from the below episode of Misconceptions on YouTube.

Why debunk these myths and stereotypes? Ideally, we’re all going to get older. And we’re also on a trajectory to living longer. According to the American Psychological Association Office on Aging [PDF], one in four people aged 65 today will live to be 90. By 2060, the number of older Americans will reach 98 million, outnumbering children under the age of 5. It’s important that as our population ages we don’t rely on outdated beliefs. Anyone can be productive, happy, and healthy at any age. 

1. Misconception: Old people are inherently cranky.
2. Misconception: Older people need less sleep.
3. Misconception: Older people can’t build muscle.
4. Misconception: Smoking doesn’t matter if you’re old.
5. Misconception: Older people don’t have sex.
6. Misconception: Arthritis only affects older people.
7. Misconception: Older people don’t make good employees.
8. Misconception: Older people can’t donate organs.
9. Misconception: We’re all headed for the nursing home.

Misconception: Old people are inherently cranky.

In the 1993 movie Grumpy Old Men, Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon trade barbs as two senior frenemies who seem to have some anger management issues. The film plays into the popular trope that older people, particularly men, tend to get more irritable as they age. After all, you’ve probably encountered a senior with minimal patience for grocery store cashiers or a grandfather scowling at a birthday party. But it turns out that being short-tempered or mean isn’t a result of getting older. 

Contrary to popular belief, older people might be more likely to be happier, not grumpier, than younger people. That’s according to Heidi Kay White, M.D., a professor of medicine in the geriatrics division at Duke University. Speaking with AARP in 2018, White explained that most research demonstrates aging is associated with patience and acceptance, not public freakouts. 

Think about it. For most of our lives, we tend to assume older people have wisdom, tolerance, and knowledge, all traits that can help maintain a sense of calm. Older people may also have fewer stressors in their lives leading to irritability. Someone retired and traveling, for example, probably isn’t likely to be cursing someone out at a CVS. 

White went on to say that when an elderly person does exhibit some impatience, it’s not because of some hardwired neurological change. It might be because they’re experiencing age-related impairment of some kind, like hearing or vision loss. So we’re not saying older people are never cranky, just that the stereotype of evolving into Grampa Abe Simpson isn’t accurate or particularly sensitive to their needs.

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Misconception: Older people need less sleep.

You might sometimes hear seniors need less sleep as they get older. Someone who could crash for 10 hours on a weekend, for example, might be waking up after just five hours in their sixties. And people might say, “well, guess older people just need less sleep.” 

But there’s an important distinction here: Getting less sleep and needing less sleep. Seniors usually need just as much sleep as younger people do—roughly seven to nine hours per night. Less sleep—less than five hours per night—has been linked to health issues, including chronic disease and earlier death, in people over 50. One 2022 study found that those 60 and over had a 32 percent greater risk for having at least two chronic ailments sleeping less than those getting seven or more hours. 

But they just don’t always get it. There are a variety of factors that can prompt sleep disruption, from chronic pain to medication to having a lower tolerance for sleep-disrupting substances. A person who can fall and stay asleep after drinking in their twenties might find that alcohol is far more disruptive to their sleep cycle in their seventies. So, if a senior is having trouble sleeping, it shouldn’t be dismissed as a consequence of aging, or that their body doesn’t need more. They might have a problem that can be solved with the help of a physician. 

Misconception: Older people can’t build muscle.

Sometimes we have an image of seniors as frail and brittle, prone to breaking like saltine crackers if exposed to any physical stress. Even some elderly people avoid exercise based on the belief their body can’t handle it. But it’s totally inaccurate to think that you can’t get in shape or build muscle, even at an advanced age.

A 2023 study published in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism found that subjects in their seventies and even eighties who had never lifted weights before had measurable gains in strength and muscle mass after engaging in a program three times a week for 12 weeks. 

According to the National Institute on Aging, resistance training is incredibly important when it comes to maintaining physical independence as we get older. Strength training builds and maintains muscle mass, which can help prevent falls and assists in everything from simple walking to getting out of a car or up from a chair. 

Now, it is true older people can’t pack on mass like prime Arnold Schwarzenegger, but less muscle doesn’t mean no muscle at all. Providing they get clearance from a physician to begin a weight program, seniors can get their pump on. In 2023, Guinness recognized Jim Arrington as the world’s oldest bodybuilder at the age of 90. 

Misconception: Smoking doesn’t matter if you’re old.

While some seniors may think they’re beyond the point where quitting makes sense, that’s not true. Research has shown that smokers in their seventies still have a statistically better chance of gaining at least one year of life when they stop puffing. Quitting at 65 could in theory add almost two extra years to your lifespan.

Misconception: Older people don’t have sex.

The same Hollywood that tells us older people are grumpy also tells us senior sex is supposed to be funny because it shouldn’t be happening—that older people don’t have any interest in sex or that they might be too frail to survive it. One study surveying 270 young adults found that 25 percent believed sex in seniors could be dangerous and lead to a heart attack.

First, let’s talk desire. One AARP survey found that two-thirds of respondents 65 and over were still interested in sex. A separate study found that, of people 75 to 85 who were sexually active, they were engaging in intercourse two or three times per month.

Not only does sexual desire remain in old age, but it can have plenty of health benefits. Like any physical activity, sex promotes cardiovascular health. It can also improve mood due to promoting positive emotional relationships. 

It’s also a myth that older people can’t have sex. AARP surveyed readers and found that 75 percent of men asserted they were, let’s say, functional. 

Misconception: Arthritis only affects older people.

Joint inflammation, which is more commonly known as arthritis, can have debilitating effects on people. Everything from exercise to daily activities can be impacted. But, hey, if you’re young, you won’t have to worry about it, right? Sorry, but the idea that arthritis is only a cause for concern at an advanced age is flat out wrong.

According to the Arthritis Foundation, more than half of arthritis sufferers that have been formally diagnosed are under the age of 65. Many people afflicted are in their forties, thirties, or even their twenties. Each year, more than 300,000 children are diagnosed with a juvenile form of the condition. That’s because arthritis isn’t due to wear and tear but factors like genetic dispositions, injury, body mass, and lack of physical activity. 

It is true your risk of arthritis can increase as you get older, particularly if it’s osteoarthritis, but remember that arthritis isn’t always going to affect quality of life. Some older people can have physiological signs of arthritis, like knee inflammation, on an x-ray, but may not be symptomatic. 

Another arthritis myth: you can’t exercise. Actually, exercise can improve symptoms, provided it’s cleared by your doctor. 

Misconception: Older people don’t make good employees.

A lot of older people report feeling marginalized at work due to a perception they might be less capable. Others have said getting a job past a certain age can be more challenging. While this could be true in cases, data trends are pointing to the opposite—job opportunities for seniors are growing.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, only one in seven workers was over age 55 in 2001. In 2021, the number was up to 1 in four, or a twofold increase. Being an employed senior is probably easier than it’s ever been, though admittedly the reasons may not be heartwarming. It’s possible financial insecurity keeps older people on the job, while companies experiencing retention issues may be looking to keep older workers on the payroll.

But a lack of job opportunities is just one myth. What about the idea that seniors are less productive? The CDC points out that one theory about older workers, that they’re often out sick, doesn’t really hold up to scrutiny. Ailments like high blood pressure or, yes, arthritis, don’t usually result in acute problems leading to absences. And cognitive functioning? Workers with experience tend to be more informed and more capable than people with less experience. Their knowledge can also be passed on to younger employees, leading to greater overall productivity. With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes retaining a lot of useful skills.

Misconception: Older people can’t donate organs.

As we age, our skin, joints, eyes, and ears can all experience some form of decline. But is it true of organs? Not quite. Despite what some believe, older people can be viable organ donors. According to the U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration, there is no age limit to give or receive organs. The agency reports that roughly 50 percent of donors are over the age of 50. One donor was 92 when he passed. His donated liver saved the life of a 69-year-old patient. Another donor known as Cecil was 95 when he passed, leaving his liver, tissue, and skin donations that benefited 20 other people.

It’s true that some organ procurement services do have age cut-offs because they’re apprehensive about outcome guidelines. But studies have shown older organs can be viable. One demonstrated that the survival rate of kidney transplantation was 88 percent from kidneys donated by people over 70. What’s important is matching the age of the organ to the age of the recipient. A 20-year- old might not be the best candidate for an 80-year-old’s liver, but it might be perfectly suited for someone closer in age. And remember that organ donation doesn’t necessarily mean transplanting into a living recipient. Many organs are routed toward scientific research—those advancements could mean life-saving treatments down the road.

Misconception: We’re all headed for the nursing home.

One of the most unnerving thoughts we can have about getting older is giving up our independence and moving into an assisted living facility. It doesn’t help when we hear of such care being prohibitively expensive as well as isolating. Fortunately, aging doesn’t have to mean turning in the keys to your house. 

According to the Population Reference Bureau, in 2020 about 7 percent of seniors 70 and older were in assisted living or nursing facilities. That’s actually 4 percent fewer people than in 2011. Census data analyzed by The Washington Post in 2023 found that less than 10 percent of 85-year-olds were in a care facility. That means the vast majority of seniors are living outside of those programs.

So if not there, then where? The rest either lived alone or with family members. One reason for their independence might be greater access to home improvements, like grab bars for balance in bathrooms. For others, it might be a choice related to heritage or culture. Multigenerational households are better equipped to care for older family members. Others might have family living nearby or a neighborhood community that makes occupying a residence by themselves easier.