5 Rules for the Paleo Diet from Actual Paleolithic Humans

rez-art/iStock via Getty Images
rez-art/iStock via Getty Images

The paleo diet, also known as the hunter-gatherer diet or the Stone Age diet, recommends eating lean meats, fish, fruits, vegetables, and nuts—foods available to our Paleolithic era ancestors—for optimum health in the modern era. The regimen excludes grains and dairy products, since paleo enthusiasts believe those foods emerged in the human diet less than 12,000 years ago, after the advent of agriculture.

But the Paleolithic era began at least 2.5 million years ago, and human diets have altered over that time. Just in the past decade, our impression of what ancient humans ate has changed drastically. If you’re seeking diet advice from some actual paleo humans, try these five rules based on recent archaeological findings that have revolutionized our understanding of the real paleo diet.

1. Scavenge your meat.

Our first tip takes us to Ethiopia, the cradle of humanity. In 2009, paleoanthropologists there found 3.4-million-year-old animal bones with cut marks from stone tools that indicated butchering. The marks were particularly significant because they suggested that the Paleolithic era, or Old Stone Age—when early human ancestors created and used stone tools—began 800,000 years earlier than previously thought. The animal bones were so old that the beings using the tools weren’t even human; they were early hominins, probably Australopithecus afarensis. Previously, stone tool use was attributed only to our genus, Homo, which emerged about 2.5 million years ago.

The two animal bones came from “an impala-sized creature, the other from one closer in size to a buffalo," researchers reported in Nature. They concluded that our early ancestors didn’t hunt the game; they scavenged it by butchering the meat from an existing carcass, likely the prey of another large predator. Scavenging is an important step in human evolution that differentiated hominins from apes. "Chimpanzees do not recognize large animals or carcasses killed by other animals as food," Paleolithic archaeologist David Braun told Nature at the time. "At some point, hominins did.”

2. Cook your dinner over an open fire.

A 300,000-year-old hearth in Israel, reported in the Journal of Archaeological Science in 2014, is the earliest physical evidence of humans consistently building fire over a period of time. The hearth demonstrates that humans controlled fire for their daily needs, which also suggests that the people had a social structure and increased intellectual capacity. Stone tools for butchering and charred animal bones found nearby indicate that the people were cooking meat.

But our cooking skills may go back even further: A deposit of 1-million-year-old ash was found in South Africa’s Wonderwerk Cave. Anthropologist Richard Wrangham has proposed a theory—the Cooking Theory—that suggests learning to cook our food promoted the development of brains that are massive compared to those of other primates. By unlocking nutrients and reducing the time we had to spend chewing, cooking allowed hominins to spend time learning other skills. For this theory to correlate with our known evolutionary path, humans would have had to be cooking with fire about 2 million years ago.

3. Eat your starches and veggies.

The paleo diet, and other low-carb diets, are famously meat-heavy. That M.O. reflected the prevailing theory that early humans, particularly Neanderthals, ate meat almost exclusively. But our understanding of paleo human dining changed in 2014 after the discovery of some fossilized human poop in southern Spain, reported in the journal PLOS ONE. The 50,000-year-old coprolite is the oldest-known human feces. Chemical analysis revealed that the donor did eat meat, but also ate his or her share of vegetables.

Evidence of plant consumption has also been found on Neanderthal tools, and even in their calcified dental plaque. In 2017, Australian researchers analyzed dental calculus dating to 50,000 years ago and turned up a variety of carbohydrates and starch granules from plants, but very few lipids or proteins from meat. Neanderthals seemed to be broadly omnivorous, and in some areas, primarily plant eaters.

4. Go ahead, gorge on grains.

The modern paleo diet forbids all grains, arguing that grain production was a result of the development of agriculture about 12,000 years ago and came after the optimal paleolithic period. The no-grain rule, however, doesn’t reflect the diet of actual paleo humans.

At another ancient site in Israel, Ohalo II on the Sea of Galilee, occupied about 20,000 years ago, researchers found uncultivated wheat and barley alongside an oven-like hearth. The wild grains were harvested with flint blades, processed, and baked. Additionally, analysis of 40,000-year-old dental plaque obtained from human teeth found in Iraq and Belgium indicated the presence of cooked grains.

Both of these discoveries predate the development of agriculture by tens of thousands of years, showing humans living in different places were consuming grains, and perhaps some version of bread, during the Paleolithic era.

5. Eat sweets sparingly.

Paleo humans liked the sweet stuff when they could get it, including wild treats like dates and honey. How do we know? Then as now, one of the effects of sugar in one’s diet is the appearance of tooth cavities. In 2015, Italian researchers found the oldest known evidence of dental work in a 14,000-year-old molar, which showed markings from sharp tools used to dig out rotten tissue. Two years later, the same team of scientists discovered the oldest known filling, dating back roughly 13,000 years. An incisor showed a cavity that had been drilled and plugged with bitumen, a semi-solid form of petroleum. Cavities were not thought to be a major part of human experience until after the advent of agriculture, but these paleo chompers suggest otherwise.

7 Bizarre Lawsuits Involving McDonald's

McDonald's can sometimes offer up a side of litigation.
McDonald's can sometimes offer up a side of litigation.
Yu Chun Christopher Wong, S3studio/Getty Images

Since the 1950s, McDonald’s has been serving up a menu full of convenient, fast-service food, from their signature Big Mac to the portable Chicken McNugget. Unfortunately, not everyone has been happy with their Happy Meals. The company has occasionally found itself embroiled in complaints from customers who have been dissatisfied and requested a side order of litigation. Take a look at some of the legal cases tossed around the Golden Arches over the years.

1. McDonald’s v. Ronald McDonald

A photo of Ronald McDonald outside of a McDonald's in Thailand
McDonald's mascot Ronald McDonald.
PhonlamaiPhoto/iStock via Getty Images

The ability for McDonald’s to find itself in the middle of legal quandaries was demonstrated early on. After being in business for 14 years, the independently-owned McDonald’s Family Restaurant in Fairbury, Illinois, was issued a legal notice from the McDonald’s corporation in 1970 warning them to avoid using any arches or offering drive-in service. The letters continued for decades, with owner Ronald McDonald (yes, that is his real name) paying little attention. It was, after all, his family’s name and restaurant. But McDonald’s upped the ante in 1992, when a local franchisee finally opened a mile down the road, and a flurry of activity commenced. McDonald (the person) eventually settled, and the two locations became known to locals as McDonald’s East and McDonald’s West. The agreement also required Ron to take the possessive “S” off the family restaurant name, but it went back up in 1996, when the franchise location closed.

2. The Quarter Pounder Controversy

The McDonald’s Quarter Pounder seemingly leaves little to the imagination. It promises one quarter-pound of meat, which it delivers. (You can also opt for the Double Quarter Pounder, which gets you closer to an entire cow.) It also comes with cheese, which caused some strife at a South Florida location in 2018. Two customers, Cynthia Kissner and Leonard Werner, filed a $5 million class action lawsuit in Fort Lauderdale because the restaurant charged them the full price of a Quarter Pounder despite their request for employees to hold the cheese. The plaintiffs argued that the McDonald’s app offered a Quarter Pounder without cheese for roughly 30 cents less and that they should not have been charged more when they asked to hold the cheese. Not all locations, however, offer that option, and the argument that the cheese and no-cheese burgers are somehow one product was not convincing to the judge. As the customers were unable to prove damages, the case was thrown out of court.

3. H.R. Pufnstuf Invades McDonaldland

H.R. Pufnstuf attends "Sid & Marty Kroft's Saturday Morning Hits" DVD release party at Every Picture Tells A Story on November 20, 2010 in Santa Monica, California
H.R. Pufnstuf attends "Sid & Marty Kroft's Saturday Morning Hits" DVD release party.
John M. Heller/Getty Images

McDonaldland, that child oasis found in many McDonald’s commercials of the 1970s and featuring a variety of characters from the Hamburglar to Grimace, was once the subject of a legal struggle. Sid and Marty Krofft, producers of the psychedelic kid’s series H.R. Pufnstuf, sued McDonald’s alleging that Mayor McCheese was copied from its own political abomination, Pufnstuf. (Both have enormous heads, and Pufnstuf was mayor of Living Island.) The Kroffts claimed that Needham, Harper & Steers, the ad agency responsible for McDonaldland, consulted with them before breaking ties and producing the commercials on their own. The courts ruled in favor of the Kroffts in 1977, declaring the ads took the “total concept and feel” of the Kroffts’ show. McDonald’s was ordered to pay $1 million and had to stop airing the ads.

4. The contaminated Coca-Cola

In 2016, Trevor Walker ordered a Diet Coke from a Mickey D's in Riverton, Utah. While lower in calories, it was apparently higher in illegal substances. The drink was somehow contaminated with Suboxone, a heroin substitute. Walker temporarily lost feeling in his arms and legs and had to be taken to the emergency room of a local hospital. Walker sued, but McDonald’s argued they should be dropped from the lawsuit owing to the fact that they are removed from the day-to-day operations of franchised locations. (A manager and employee were suspected of spiking the drink, but security footage was unavailable to confirm the theory.) Third District Court Judge James Gardner was unmoved, saying McDonald’s couldn’t be that separated if they also mandated franchise managers attend Hamburger University for training—or “this hamburger school,” as Gardner put it. The case is ongoing.

5. Big Macs and brothels

In 2012, former McDonald’s employee Shelley Lynn sued McDonald’s and made the audacious claim that the company’s low wages had forced her into a side job as a prostitute for a Nevada brothel. Lynn was hired for a position at an Arroyo Grande, California, McDonald's location, where she alleged manager Keith Handley pushed her into a life of sex work. Lynn complained there was no practical grievance system in place and that Handley should not have been sold a franchise. A United States District Court judge in California found in favor of McDonald’s and Handley that same year.

6. McDonald's In a Pickle

A double hamburger is seen on July 18, 2002 at a Burger King in Miami, Florida.
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

In 1999, Veronica Martin and her husband ordered hamburgers from a McDonald’s in Knoxville, Tennessee. What should have been a delicious treat turned ugly as—according to Martin—a very hot pickle shot out from between the bun, landed on her chin, and scalded her, leaving her with second-degree burns. A lawsuit followed, with Martin arguing the pickle was “defective.” She sought $110,000 while her husband asked for $15,000 for losing the “service and consortium” of his wife. The two parties settled in 2001, though McDonald’s maintained no monetary payment was offered.

7. a Weighty Problem

It can be assured that excess consumption of calories, whether they come from McDonald’s or other sources, will result in an accumulation of fatty tissue. This did not prevent several overweight teenagers in New York from taking McDonald’s to court in 2002 in an attempt to place responsibility for their habit of eating at McDonald’s several times a week at the feet of the corporation. The plaintiffs, Ashley Pelman, 14, and Jazlyn Bradley, 19, among others, said they did not know how fattening the food was and complained of high blood pressure and high cholesterol, among other ailments. One plaintiff, a 600-pound 15-year-old, said he ate there every day. Lawyers argued advertising to children helped foster a trust of the food’s nutritional value.

The case was rejected by a judge in 2003. Now at least 26 states have “common sense consumption” laws, which prevent lawsuits from being filed against food manufacturers for adverse health effects as a result of gorging on a decadent diet. It's also known as the "cheeseburger law."

A Friends-Themed Brunch Is Coming to Los Angeles

The friends brunching in Las Vegas after Ross and Rachel impulsively tied the knot.
The friends brunching in Las Vegas after Ross and Rachel impulsively tied the knot.
NBC

Whether they were sampling Monica’s latest culinary creation, ordering yet another pizza, or eating cheesecake off the hallway floor, the legendary friends of Friends definitely spent a lot of time appreciating food—and coffee, of course.

To give fans a chance to celebrate those central motifs, The Brunch Club is hosting a Friends-themed brunch in Los Angeles this spring. Attendees will get to enjoy mimosas and appetizers during a screening of quintessential Friends episodes. The event also promises an array of activities including trivia, charades, and a costume contest. (So if your closet happens to be harboring an armadillo getup or a pink, frilly bridesmaid dress inspired by Little Bo-Peep, now’s the time to dig it out.)

friends-themed brunch
There won't be beef in the trifle at this Friends-themed brunch.
The Brunch Club

Though the exact location hasn’t been announced yet, we know the brunch will take place from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. on Sunday, May 17, and you can register on Eventbrite to receive an email update when tickets go on sale. The price isn’t listed, but there’s a similar Friends brunch happening in Denver this March, and those tickets cost around $50.

The Brunch Club specializes in raising a glass to pop culture phenomenons all over the country—according to the website, the organization has hosted brunches inspired by the Spice Girls, Drake, roller discos, and more. Considering that the entire Friends series left Netflix at the end of 2019, the news of a fun way to watch a few episodes is probably coming at a good time for devastated super fans in Los Angeles.

In the meantime, here’s what we know about the potential Friends reunion.

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