Kirk Van Houten: The Quiz

It’s hard not to love Kirk Van Houten, Springfield’s most pathetic denizen this side of Gil. How well do you know the former cracker factory manager who sired Milhouse and married Luann twice?

1 of 12
As a young man, Kirk attended what college?
Eastern State University
Springfield Community Tech
Gudger College
Springfield A&M
2 of 12
Kirk hates it when Milhouse calls him what?
No-Money Dad
Crying Dad
Loser Dad
Weekend Dad
3 of 12
When Apu moves into the Bachelor Arms, Kirk warns him to stay out of his apartment if he doesn't like losing at what game?
Pinochle
Solitaire
Cribbage
Checkers
4 of 12
Since the heat is always off at Kirk's apartment, he makes a coat out of what?
Old newspapers
Milhouse's stuffed animals
Cocktail napkins and duct tape
Pieces of his race car bed
5 of 12
When Kirk visits career day at Springfield Elementary, he reveals that he works as the assistant to whom?
The guy who holds up a sign by the side of the road
The guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers
The guy who panhandles outside the Kwik E Mart
The guy who washes windshields at an intersection
6 of 12
Kirk once served in which branch of the armed forces?
The Navy
The Army
The Marines
The Coast Guard
7 of 12
What is the name of the demo Kirk records after his breakup with Luann?
"Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?"
"Where's My Alimony?"
"Ballad of the Deadbeat Dad"
"Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
8 of 12
When a possum drowns in the pool of the Bachelor Arms, Kirk suggests that his fellow residents throw it over the fence and let what fast food restaurant worry about it?
Arby's
Wendy's
McDonald's
Burger King
9 of 12
Kirk briefly finds himself wrongfully incarcerated for what crime?
Murder
Shoplifting
Vagrancy
Kidnapping
10 of 12
Kirk and Luann’s marriage disintegrates during a fight over Pictionary. What vague concept can Kirk not draw?
Pride
Self-confidence
Dignity
Success
11 of 12
When Kirk married Luann, her father gave him a sweet job at a cracker factory. What was the name of this cracker company?
Table Time
Southern Cracker
Allied Biscuit
Unified Cracker
12 of 12
Which voice actor provides Kirk's voice?
Hank Azaria
Dan Castellaneta
Harry Shearer