“Black it stood as night, fierce as ten furies, terrible as hell, and shook a dreadful dart; what seem'd his head the likeness of a kingly crown had on. Satan was now at hand.”

The Devil looks suspiciously like God, whom he plays in a chess game for the soul of a rock musician.

“I am the Devil! Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness! Well, the Princ-ess, anyway...”

“Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for long, long years, stole many man's soul and faith.”

Satan has a series of homosexual relationships, including one with Saddam Hussein. The power couple breaks up after Satan realizes that Saddam's been using him.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due: I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, ‘cause I think I'm better than you."

“A soft-spoken, dark-dressed stranger drove up in a handsome buggy and asked for Jabez Stone…He didn't like the looks of the stranger, nor the way he smiled with his teeth. They were white teeth, and plentiful-some say they were filed to a point, but I wouldn't vouch for that. And he didn't like it when the dog took one look at the stranger and ran away howling, with his tail between his legs.”

The devil appears as lawyer John Milton and recruits his son to join the New York law firm Milton, Chadwick & Waters.

“Whenever I'm from time to time depressed and a trauma wells and swells within my breast, I find some pride deep inside of me and I fondly walk down the lane of memory. I see Bonaparte, a mean one if ever I've seen one. And Nero fiddlin' thru that lovely blaze. Antionette, dainty queen, with her quaint guillotine. Ha ha ha ha. Those were the good old days.”

“Now I only prize the reputation of being a gentlemanly person and live as I can, trying to make myself agreeable. I love men genuinely…I adopt all your habits here; I’ve grown fond of going to public baths, would you believe it? And I got and steam myself with merchants and priests…I like being doctored too; in the spring there was an outbreak of smallpox and I went and was vaccinated in a foundling hospital – if only you knew how I enjoyed myself that day.”

The devil makes his first appearance as a poodle, before transforming into his natural form.

“Now I have you with me, under my power, our love grows stronger now with every hour. Look into my eyes, you'll see who I am. My name is Lucifer, please take my hand.”