Christopher Walken's Canon of Crap
The Prophecy II
Even though Walken’s character of Gabriel was pretty definitively killed in the original Prophecy, he returned for the sequel, where the archangel returns to Earth to stop the birth of a child of an angel and human.
Gigli
Luckily for him, Walken makes only a small cameo in this, the ultimate of movie stinkers.
Love in Paris
Walken got to try a French accent in this terrible drama about love and obsession set in Paris.
The Village
Walken, as the historic town’s doctor, joins M. Night Shyamalan for his unsatisfying attempt at another creepy twist ending.
New Rose Hotel
Walken plays Fox who, along with X, work as extractors who hide scientists whose lives are in danger.
Kangaroo Jack
This movie, set in Australia, features a lively kangaroo that interferes with a gangster’s wrongdoings. Guess who plays the mobster.
Glitter
Walken plays Harry Frank, the father of an aspiring pop star played by Mariah Carey.
The Country Bears
Walken stars in this Disney movie, based on the attraction at Disney World. It wasn’t as successful as “Pirates of the Caribbean.”
The Stepford Wives
In this inferior remake of the 1974 suburban sci-fi adaptation, Walken is the inventor of the cyborg wives. Spoiler alert: turns out he’s a robot too.
Son of the Mask
This sequel to The Mask doesn’t have Jim Carrey or any of the fun of the original. But it does have Walken playing a history professor who wants to unlock the secrets behind the mask.
Balls of Fury
Walken stars as the villain, Feng, an evil ping-pong player who has sex slaves and an electrified ping-pong table.
Envy
This movie, which features Walken playing a character named J-Man, earned an impressive 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Fred Claus
When Walken and Vince Vaughan teamed up in Wedding Crashers, it was some vulgar fun. When they did a family Christmas comedy together – not so much.
Who’s Your Caddy?
Big Boi of Outkast fame is a rapper feuding with an uptight country club over his membership. Walken has a small role as the club’s groundskeeper, Emmanuel.
Mousehunt
Walken makes a quick cameo as an exterminator named Caesar, trying to help two brothers get rid of a pesky mouse.
Baby Geniuses
This movie showed us that babies are actually super-smart beneath their cute, speechless exterior. Walken plays the evil scientist trying to harness their brainpower.
Joe Dirt
The phrase “written by and starring David Spade” should give you some idea of this movie’s quality. Luckily, Walken only has a small part.
American Dreamz
This scattershot movie parodied the government, terrorism, American Idol and anything else the writers could think of. Walken played the president’s chief of staff.
