Suspect, Killer, Law Enforcement or Deceased?
1 of 14
Rainn Wilson (a.k.a. Dwight Schrute) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Rainn and his well known “shifty eyes” made him the ideal suspect in “The Strip Strangler” (2001). He creepily stalked series regular Jorja Fox in a grocery store (she was a decoy trying to attract a killer on the loose) and then attempted to make off with her purse. He caved and cowered as soon as the Feds came down on him (for the record, Dwight would never have gone down so easy). He wasn’t the killer they were after, just a purse-snatching creep with a leering stare. Nobody leers like Rainn Wilson. Rainn and his well known “shifty eyes” made him the ideal suspect in “The Strip Strangler” (2001). He creepily stalked series regular Jorja Fox in a grocery store (she was a decoy trying to attract a killer on the loose) and then attempted to make off with her purse. He caved and cowered as soon as the Feds came down on him (for the record, Dwight would never have gone down so easy). He wasn’t the killer they were after, just a purse-snatching creep with a leering stare. Nobody leers like Rainn Wilson.
2 of 14
Method Man was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right. Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right.
ANSWER: Probably. Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right. Probably. Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right.
ANSWER: ...sort of. Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right. ...sort of. Method reprised the role of Las Vegas party promoter “Drops” in three episodes between 2006 and 2008. First he was a suspect in the death of a rapper’s street team member (“Poppin’ Tags”), then he went to jail for being involved in a car-on-car drive by that ended in two deaths (“Big Shots”), and then gets let out of the slammer to assist the CSI team in apprehending a potential murderer (who happens to be carrying his child) in “Drops Out”. If you happen to be a monkey taking this quiz, odds are you got this one right.
3 of 14
Ashley Johnson (a.k.a. little Chrissy Seaver from Growing Pains) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Not just was she the killer, she was a live-in hooker at a bunny ranch named “Dreama Little” who killed a former boxer by clocking him over the head with a tire iron and then shooting him full of poisonous snake venom that she milked herself at her daddy’s snake farm (“Ending Happy”, 2007). And yet we are still pretty sure that Mike Seaver’s buddy Boner would have totally wanted to hit that. Not just was she the killer, she was a live-in hooker at a bunny ranch named “Dreama Little” who killed a former boxer by clocking him over the head with a tire iron and then shooting him full of poisonous snake venom that she milked herself at her daddy’s snake farm (“Ending Happy”, 2007). And yet we are still pretty sure that Mike Seaver’s buddy Boner would have totally wanted to hit that.
4 of 14
Melinda Clarke (a.k.a. Julie Cooper, the most biotch-tastically awesome character on The O.C.) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Putting her skills as a seductive siren to use, Clarke assumed the role of “Lady Heather”, a dominatrix (and owner of a fetish club) with a mind like a steel trap (and a heart of gold) for four episodes of CSI. We think Julie Cooper would have totally invited Lady Heather to Cardio Bar with her – after all J-Coop is the woman who slept with her daughter’s teenage boyfriend and accidentally found herself running a male escort service. Two peas in a kinky little pod. Putting her skills as a seductive siren to use, Clarke assumed the role of “Lady Heather”, a dominatrix (and owner of a fetish club) with a mind like a steel trap (and a heart of gold) for four episodes of CSI. We think Julie Cooper would have totally invited Lady Heather to Cardio Bar with her – after all J-Coop is the woman who slept with her daughter’s teenage boyfriend and accidentally found herself running a male escort service. Two peas in a kinky little pod.
5 of 14
Sarah Lancaster (Ellie Bartowski from Chuck and also appeared on Everwood, What About Brian, and as a "Gift Shop Girl" on Scrubs) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Come on, those sparkling, big brown eyes could never belong to a killer! Poor Lancaster merely tried to report the disappearance of her husband in “Precious Metal” (2003) and instead came under suspicion of the CSI team when her prints were found on the murder weapon, a heavy statuette that sat on the couple’s mantle. Obviously, she was cleared of all culpability. Nobody that cute could be the killer. (Sarah, you are awesome! Let’s be besties. Call me). Come on, those sparkling, big brown eyes could never belong to a killer! Poor Lancaster merely tried to report the disappearance of her husband in “Precious Metal” (2003) and instead came under suspicion of the CSI team when her prints were found on the murder weapon, a heavy statuette that sat on the couple’s mantle. Obviously, she was cleared of all culpability. Nobody that cute could be the killer. (Sarah, you are awesome! Let’s be besties. Call me).
6 of 14
Kevin Federline (a.k.a. the mind behind "PopoZao," the more responsible parent in the Spears-Federline custody battle, and the proof that perhaps regulating procreation in our country isn't such a crazy idea after all) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Be honest, you saw this one coming. Of course he was the killer. In fact, he was the head of a gang of evil teenage kids who beat unsuspecting tourists unconscious (sometimes permanently) just for kicks. (“Fannysmackin’” 2006). We can totally get behind K-Fed’s acting career as long as he keeps playing skeezy creeps who get hauled off to jail at the end. Go for it, Kev darling. Chase the dream. Be honest, you saw this one coming. Of course he was the killer. In fact, he was the head of a gang of evil teenage kids who beat unsuspecting tourists unconscious (sometimes permanently) just for kicks. (“Fannysmackin’” 2006). We can totally get behind K-Fed’s acting career as long as he keeps playing skeezy creeps who get hauled off to jail at the end. Go for it, Kev darling. Chase the dream.
7 of 14
Eddie Jemison (a.k.a. Livingston Dell from the Ocean's trilogy) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Shortly after playing the role of the nerve-wracked Livingston Dell, member with the sweatiest palms on Danny Ocean’s crew of eleven, Jemison appeared as Mr. Dorsey, a trace lab technician in “Chasing the Bus” (2002) and again in “Eleven Angry Jurors” (2004). Still awkward and nerdy, but with decidedly less perspiration. Shortly after playing the role of the nerve-wracked Livingston Dell, member with the sweatiest palms on Danny Ocean’s crew of eleven, Jemison appeared as Mr. Dorsey, a trace lab technician in “Chasing the Bus” (2002) and again in “Eleven Angry Jurors” (2004). Still awkward and nerdy, but with decidedly less perspiration.
8 of 14
Brian Austin Green (a.k.a. David Silver, de-virginator of Donna Martin on Beverly Hills, 90210) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: We admit, we totally had poor David Silver pegged as the killer the minute his scruffy mug came on screen. “Surely!” We thought, “Surely a star of his caliber deserves a meaty role as a ruthless killer!” To our chagrin, he turned out to be merely the older brother of the real killer – his conniving little sister who borrowed her big bro’s hammer to use as the murder weapon in a grisly crime. Once again, poor Brian A. Green (yes, we know you prefer it that way) has to play second fiddle to a plot about a melodramatic teenage girl. We admit, we totally had poor David Silver pegged as the killer the minute his scruffy mug came on screen. “Surely!” We thought, “Surely a star of his caliber deserves a meaty role as a ruthless killer!” To our chagrin, he turned out to be merely the older brother of the real killer – his conniving little sister who borrowed her big bro’s hammer to use as the murder weapon in a grisly crime. Once again, poor Brian A. Green (yes, we know you prefer it that way) has to play second fiddle to a plot about a melodramatic teenage girl.
9 of 14
Danny Bonaduce (Danny Partridge in The Partridge Family and, of course, himself in Breaking Bonaduce) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Bonaduce was the first victim of the infamous “Miniature Killer” who plagued the CSI team for several seasons, killing his/her victims and then leaving behind a scale model of the murder scene. The red-haired child/reality star played Izzy Delancy (“Built to Kill”, 2006), a washed up rock star on the receiving end of a fatal blow with a marble rolling pin. His “character” was infamous for having bitten the heads off of chickens live on stage during his performances and then eventually becoming a vegetarian animal cruelty activist. For the record, Izzy sounds like a far more interesting person than Bonaduce ever has or will be. Bonaduce was the first victim of the infamous “Miniature Killer” who plagued the CSI team for several seasons, killing his/her victims and then leaving behind a scale model of the murder scene. The red-haired child/reality star played Izzy Delancy (“Built to Kill”, 2006), a washed up rock star on the receiving end of a fatal blow with a marble rolling pin. His “character” was infamous for having bitten the heads off of chickens live on stage during his performances and then eventually becoming a vegetarian animal cruelty activist. For the record, Izzy sounds like a far more interesting person than Bonaduce ever has or will be.
10 of 14
Elizabeth Mitchell (a.k. Juliet Burke from LOST) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: A pre-nose job Mitchell played a hard-nosed, wheelchair-bound district attorney Melissa Winters in “One Hit Wonder” (2003). Despite her court room rants about true justice, she had shot her own husband (apparently an abusive jerk) three years earlier, and then shot herself to make it look like self defense. She totally nails the “bad guy you are still kind of rooting for” routine that she would later perfect as the “Whose side is she on, anyway?” Juliet Burke. A pre-nose job Mitchell played a hard-nosed, wheelchair-bound district attorney Melissa Winters in “One Hit Wonder” (2003). Despite her court room rants about true justice, she had shot her own husband (apparently an abusive jerk) three years earlier, and then shot herself to make it look like self defense. She totally nails the “bad guy you are still kind of rooting for” routine that she would later perfect as the “Whose side is she on, anyway?” Juliet Burke.
11 of 14
Louis Lombardi (a.k.a. the dearly departed and preciously lisping Edgar Stiles from 24) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Before he was the lovable, hapless Edgar Stiles on 24, Lombardi played a loveable, hapless waiter at a high-end casino hotel in “Grissom Versus the Volcano” (2003). He was briefly suspected of killing a famous musician’s wife, (as he had delivered the very bottle of wine that supposedly poisoned her), but one look into his doughy face as he lisped his innocence, and the cops were hopelessly charmed in to trusting him, just like our girl Chloe O’Brian. Before he was the lovable, hapless Edgar Stiles on 24, Lombardi played a loveable, hapless waiter at a high-end casino hotel in “Grissom Versus the Volcano” (2003). He was briefly suspected of killing a famous musician’s wife, (as he had delivered the very bottle of wine that supposedly poisoned her), but one look into his doughy face as he lisped his innocence, and the cops were hopelessly charmed in to trusting him, just like our girl Chloe O’Brian.
12 of 14
Glenn Morshower (a.k.a. Super Awesome Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce from 24) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Before Morshower became Aaron Pierce, butt-kicker with a heart of gold and moral fiber made of steel on 24, he broke his law enforcement teeth playing Sheriff Brian Mobley for the first season of CSI. In truth, he was kind of a d-bag – always wanting the CSI kids to rush their results so that he could take the credit for their cases. We’ll take Aaron Pierce guarding our behind over Sheriff Mobley any day. Before Morshower became Aaron Pierce, butt-kicker with a heart of gold and moral fiber made of steel on 24, he broke his law enforcement teeth playing Sheriff Brian Mobley for the first season of CSI. In truth, he was kind of a d-bag – always wanting the CSI kids to rush their results so that he could take the credit for their cases. We’ll take Aaron Pierce guarding our behind over Sheriff Mobley any day.
13 of 14
Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up, and How I Met Your Mother) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: Mere months before we would come to know and love Segel as the cuddly Marshall Eriksen on How I Met Your Mother, he was assisting the CSI team as lab flunky Neil Jansen in three episodes (2004-05). We bet that if Marshall knew Neil, he’d probably ask him to assist in his quest to prove the existence of Nessie and/or Sasquatch. Mere months before we would come to know and love Segel as the cuddly Marshall Eriksen on How I Met Your Mother, he was assisting the CSI team as lab flunky Neil Jansen in three episodes (2004-05). We bet that if Marshall knew Neil, he’d probably ask him to assist in his quest to prove the existence of Nessie and/or Sasquatch.
14 of 14
Chad Michael Murray (One Tree Hill) was:
A suspect
The killer
The deceased
A member of the CSI or law enforcement team
Never on the show
ANSWER: It seems somehow fitting that C.M.M., the smirking, perfect-fiancé dumping, philandering CW star, would play one of the more outlandishly jerktastic killers in the history of this show. Not only is his character Tom Haviland (“The Accused is Entitled”, 2002) a suave, womanizing movie star who orders his assistant to round up his two bed partners for the night, he also beat one of them to death and slit the other one’s throat and then had his assistant arrange a body dump. Then he hires a high profile attorney to attack the CSI team’s credibility to try and escape charges in court. Luckily, Gil Grissom swoops in with a revealing piece of evidence and puts Chad’s smug mug behind bars. Boy was that satisfying to watch. It seems somehow fitting that C.M.M., the smirking, perfect-fiancé dumping, philandering CW star, would play one of the more outlandishly jerktastic killers in the history of this show. Not only is his character Tom Haviland (“The Accused is Entitled”, 2002) a suave, womanizing movie star who orders his assistant to round up his two bed partners for the night, he also beat one of them to death and slit the other one’s throat and then had his assistant arrange a body dump. Then he hires a high profile attorney to attack the CSI team’s credibility to try and escape charges in court. Luckily, Gil Grissom swoops in with a revealing piece of evidence and puts Chad’s smug mug behind bars. Boy was that satisfying to watch.
ANSWER: You may have noticed… “E” was never an answer in this quiz. All of these people have appeared on CSI, and here are a few more that didn’t even fit: Michael from LOST, Boone from LOST, Keamy from LOST, Sawyer from LOST, Jin from LOST, Addison Montgomery from Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice, Alice from The L Word, Jim Halpert from The Office, Liev Schriber, Anthony La Paglia, Sean Young, Amanda Seyfried and many, many more. You may have noticed… “E” was never an answer in this quiz. All of these people have appeared on CSI, and here are a few more that didn’t even fit: Michael from LOST, Boone from LOST, Keamy from LOST, Sawyer from LOST, Jin from LOST, Addison Montgomery from Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice, Alice from The L Word, Jim Halpert from The Office, Liev Schriber, Anthony La Paglia, Sean Young, Amanda Seyfried and many, many more.
